Isaacs Picture Conclusions

MACHETE (2010) FOUR TOP HATS

So – I totally loved this movie! I love the genre, I love the new or “re”-focus on 70’s “exploitation” films. I love that people like Robert DeNiro are willing to be in this. I love that Robert Rodriguez is ballsy enough to make it. I loved that it was bloody, over the top, tongue in cheek awesomeness. But there were just a few things that brought me down. Like Steven Seagal, for instance – I can’t stand the dude and he didn’t do anything to change that here.  And Jessica Alba – she’s good lookin’ for sure, but she sure can’t act, plus the way she kept pronouncing MaCHete drove my wife and I crazy. I know this movie wasn’t all about good acting, since Grindhouse is mainly about crap acting, but I would’ve appreciated someone else. Also – through the entire movie they all seemed (director and crew and actors) to be having a good time, but the end battle seemed like they were tired of making it (or something). Oh well – it’s all awesome with a few flaws. It’s well worth the time if you’re into lots O’ blood, beheadings, crucifixions,  nuns with guns, stars from the 80’s, “Mexploitation” and a butt load of shooting and explosions. I loved it – but it could’ve been better (for me). And we know they were making this for me.

Here’s the plot – haggard old Machete (Danny Trejo) was a good, hard working Federale when he was betrayed by Seagal and left for dead.  Key up a bunch of criminal politicians, Mexican underground networks, conspiracy theories, Anti-Bush undertones,  immigration policy and a number of other plot points. Turns out Machete isn’t dead after all, when he shows up in a day labor work line in Austin, TX. Too bad he’s picked up by corrupt Jeff Fahey, underling for the corrupt Senator DeNiro. Fahey wants Machete to assassinate DeNiro, but it’s all a set-up to propel the continuance of the new border fence between Texas and Me-hee-co, to keep the Mexican weed out and drive up the costs and profits of the wicked Texas dope. Throw in an hour and a half of chopping, shooting, sexing, doping, backstabbing, undermining, revolution-ing and we end up at the final battle between the illegal aliens and the gun toting, shoot for no reason, special border patrol dicks.  Multiple explosions ensue and we set up for an awesome sequel.

Sequel? Rodriguez has claimed in interviews that if the movie even made one dollar worth of profit, they’d make a second. I can’t wait!  Not to be saying anything, but they should hurry, Trejo is 60-something…

One comment

  1. Pingback: THE TEACHER (1974) THREE TOP HATS | Eric's Motion Picture Conclusions

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