Isaacs Picture Conclusions

Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)

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SHITFESTBANNER34

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 17: DOLEMITE (1975)

May 15, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY DOLEMITE (1975) Directed by D’Urville Martin Starring Rudy Ray Moore as Dolemite – and D’Urville Martin as Willie Green On the opening frame we see a couple black dudes in a jail cell and a guard enters with an important message for our wrongfully-imprisoned hero Dolemite, “Okay Dolemite, the warden wants to see you”. Dolemite turns from his top bunk with a constipated look and gruffly says, “Oh shit! What the hell does […]

Categories: 2013, 70s, Drive - In, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: BLAXSPLOITATION, Brenda Banks, Brenda DeLong, D'Urville Martin, DOLEMITE 1975 MOVIE REVIEW, Drive In, Jana Bisbing, Jerry Jones, Joy Martin, Lynell Smith, Marilyn Shaw, Pat Haywood, Pat Jones, René Van Clief, Rudy Ray Moore, SHITFEST 2013!, Terri Mosley, THE HAMBURGER PIMP, Vera Howard, WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY

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GIRLY

MUMSY, NANNY, SONNY AND GIRLY (1970) THREE TOP HATS

April 2, 2013 by theipc

Has anyone else ever seen this (shortened in the U.S. release to just “Girly”)? This movie is fucking weird. And not “weird” like 70s psychedelia LSD weird, it’s just…. weird. There’s five main characters and four of them are female – well – one of them is a teenage male (see below) but his voice is so high and piercing and he’s so frail and feeble that he might have been a sick girl.  Anyway, they all talk in the highest, screechingest […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: 70s, Absolutely No Boobs, Crazy Brits, Friend in No. 5, Fucking Weird, Girly Movie Review, Howard Trevor, Michael Bryant, Mumsy Nanny Sonny and Girly Movie Review, Pat Heywood, Screechy and Loud, Ursula Howells, Vanessa Howard, Very Tame

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HARRY1

DIRTY HARRY (1971) FOUR TOP HATS

January 16, 2013 by theipc

I’ve always been a big Clint Eastwood fan. I know I wrote up some deets on that on my GRAN TORINO article but I don’t know if that will be published by the time this comes out, because I am waiting on someone to add their thoughts for a DOUBLE TAKE. Like I’ve posted or will post, I feel like I’ve grown up with Eastwood and he’s like a family member somehow and since I’ve started doing this, I’ve always […]

Categories: 70s, Four Top Hats, Hostages, Thriller • Tags: Andrew Robinson, Clint Eastwood, Diana Davidson, Dirty Harry Movie Review, Do You Feel Lucky, Iconic Movie Figure, Jana D'Amico, John Vernon, Kate Harper, Laurie Mock, Lois Foraker, Punk??, Reni Santoni, The Scorpio Killer, Tough Cops!!

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DEARKILLER1

GIALLORAMA! MY DEAR KILLER (1972) TWO TOP HATS

January 9, 2013 by theipc

Well – sadly – this one wasn’t too exciting either… George Hilton and his moustache are back in what is basically a police procedural with a TON of dialogue and not very much action. I mean , this started off pretty good with a little bit of this: and some of this: and even a little bit of this: but then it just went into a whole lot of this: and a bunch of this: and some of this: Talk […]

Categories: 70s, Giallo, Nothing, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: Booooooooooooooooooring, George Hilton, Helga Liné, Italian Giallo, Italian Horror, Marilù Tolo, Moustaches, My Dear Killer Movie review, Patty Shepard, Too Much Dialogue

5
honeymoon

GIALLORAMA! A HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON (1970) TWO TOP HATS

January 9, 2013 by theipc

O M G This movie was so boring I could barely even stand it. In fact, this was so boring and the music was so irritating that I have a serious headache. Almost nothing happens in this. There is a TON of this: A bunch of this: A little bit of this: A slight touch of this: and that’s it! Oh wait – there’s also some of this: A dude inherits his mommy’s dress making business and fancy estate. He lives with […]

Categories: 70s, Giallo, I'm Stupid, Two Top Hats • Tags: Antonia Mas, Booooooooooooooooooring, Dagmar Lassander, Death by Hatchet!!, Femi Benussi, Giallo, Hatchet For The Honeymoon Movie Review, Laura Betti, Montserrat Riva, Silvia Lienas, Stephen Forsyth

8
POOP

ISAACS EXCREMENT: MY TEN WORST MOVIES OF 2012

January 1, 2013 by theipc

For last year’s entries, please check them out HERE. Well – it’s that time of year again and everyone’s making Best Of and Worst Of lists and I want to chime in again, so here’s the list of my least favorite things I saw all year. My list(s) don’t necessarily mean they were released in 2012 – but that I saw them in 2012. I mean, I wasn’t doing this blogging thing back in 2004 so – why not warn […]

Categories: 2012, 70s, 90s, Found Footage, Hostages, I'm Stupid, Most Unclean, Nothing, One Top Hat, Very Gory • Tags: Bullshit, My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, PAIN AND MISERY, Terrible

29
nighttrain2

NIGHT TRAIN MURDERS (1975) TWO TOP HATS

December 26, 2012 by theipc

Well… I rented this because I thought this was a giallo and it sure wasn’t. 70s Italian horror – yes, giallo no. Aldo Lado – yes, excitement and fun, no. Most of this was actually pretty boring except for a couple of scenes and that haunting shot on the side of the train tracks that I can’t seem to shake. I found this on iTunes with the tile “Night Train Murders” but found it on IMDb as “Last Stop of the Night […]

Categories: 70s, Thriller, Two Top Hats • Tags: 70s, Aldo Lado, Another knife in a hoo-hah, Exploitation, Flavio Bucci, Gianfranco De Grassi, Irene Miracle, Italian, Last Stop on the Night Train Movie Review, Laura D'Angelo, Macha Méril, Marina Berti, Night Train Murders Movie Review

6
SUSPIRIA

SUSPIRIA (1977) FOUR TOP HATS (I THINK)

December 19, 2012 by theipc

I would like to go on the record and report that I think this is a really good movie BUT the copy I got from Netflix was so shitty I could barely make out what was going on most of the time. It looked like this was really put together well and it seemed like the directing was sound and I think the musical score may have been used a little too much but it sounded creepy. I’m not positive […]

Categories: 70s, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Alida Valli, Barbara Magnolfi, Bloody, Dario Argento, Flavio Bucci, Jessica Harper, No Boobs, Pretty Awesome, Stefania Casini, Susanna Javicoli, Suspiria 1977 Movie review, Udo Kier, Witches!!

16
THX 1138

THX 1138 (1971) TWO TOP HATS

December 10, 2012 by theipc

I don’t know if this thing is regarded as some sort of George Lucas classic Sci – Fi or something because I don’t really study things I watch or anything unless I really like it, so I don’t know if I am going to piss anyone off when I write about this BUT: this was so fucking boring I almost didn’t make it. I was busy being born in 1971 so I didn’t make it to the theaters for this […]

Categories: 70s, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Donald Pleasence, George Lucas, Giant Rats!!, Irene Cagen, Maggie McOmie, Robert Duvall, Robots!!, Science Fiction, Sid Haig, THX 1138 Movie Review

5
WHOCANKILL56

WHO CAN KILL A CHILD? (1976) FOUR TOP HATS

December 5, 2012 by theipc

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH I totally wasn’t expecting this to be this good. I got this from Netflix and when I put it in the first thing I noticed was that the sound was pitiful. It was piercingly loud at one second – so much that I had to turn the volume down to one (no lie) and then the couple would start talking and I had to rewind it and turn  it up to fifteen O_o.  This […]

Categories: 70s, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Spanish • Tags: Aparicio Rivero, Creepy Kids!, Hot Blond, Lewis Fiander, María Luisa Arias, Marisa Porcel, Murder Most Foul, Prunella Ransome, Spanish Horror, Who Can Kill a Child Movie Review

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THEDOUBLETAKE

THE IPC DOUBLE TAKE ~ FEATURING CINENEMA: THE EXORCIST (1973)

December 3, 2012 by theipc

I just watched this for the first time the other week. What the BLEEP BLORP??? You ask??? Well – it’s true. Like I’ve written before, I grew up an only child and spent a lot of time by myself. I can’t remember what year it was but my mom (a 70s disco-ey goer) got married to my dad (who adopted me) who was a strict Church-y Baptist. I was immediately indoctrinated into That Which Is Christianity and forbidden to watch things on […]

Categories: 70s, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, The IPC Double Take • Tags: Arthur Storch, CINENEMA, Ellen Burstyn, Jason Miller, Kitty Winn, Lee J. Cobb, Linda Blair, Max von Sydow, Mercedes McCambridge, The Devil!!, The Double Take, The Exorcist Movie Review, William Friedkin, William O'Malley, William Peter Blatty

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STEPM1

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 13: THE STEPMOTHER (1972) THREE POOL TABLES

November 7, 2012 by theipc

(I was going to post a deliciously wicked GIALLO today but I spent some time making this poster and wanted to show it off – what do you think??) *** OH BOY. Well – I think it’s safe to say that this one isn’t as fun as the LAST ONE – BUT – this is still better than what we were getting in the Mill Creek box (no offense Mill Creek box people). This time around a Latino fellow is […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, Grindhouse, Three Top Hats • Tags: Alejandro Rey, Boobs, Claudia Jennings, Drive In, Howard Avedis, John Anderson, Joints!!, Katherine Justice, Larry Linville, Marlene Schmidt, Priscilla Garcia, Semi-Fun, The Stepmother 1972 Movie Review, Watch With Booze

13
1SIS

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 12: THE SISTER IN LAW (1974) FOUR SUN HATS

October 30, 2012 by theipc

When I first started doing this Drive – In series, I struck gold pyrite a couple of times with INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS and DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT and DEVIL TIMES FIVE (and even a couple of others) but then they started getting a little shitty and I started getting a little dismayed that my project would fizzle out but – I rummaged around in my upstairs movie ottoman and found some old copies of “Drive – In Double Features” […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, Excitement • Tags: Anne Saxon, Boobs, Drive In, Gillian Gordon, John Savage, Meridith Baer, Not Too Bad, The Sister In Law 1974 Movie Review, Will MacMillan

8
SISTER

GIALLORAMA! THE SISTER OF URSULA (1978) THREE TOP HATS

October 24, 2012 by theipc

Let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way – this post is Rated R for Nudity and Imagery. Clear on out now if you’re not accompanied by parent. I have been struggling to figure out how I could write up something about this. This movie is insane in all sort of ways. From The Sex to the things they do to the constant nudity (male and female) to the strange events that happen out of the blue […]

Categories: 70s, Giallo, Slasher, Three Top Hats • Tags: Alice Gherardi, Anna Zinnemann, Antiniska Nemour, Barbara Magnolfi, Boobs Galore, Enzo Milioni, Giallo, Marc Porel, Stefania D'Amario, The Sister of Ursula Movie Review, Vanni Materassi, Yvonne Harlow

15
KN1

KILLER NUN (1979) TWO TOP HATS

October 10, 2012 by theipc

The cover to this movie is rather OCD upsetting so let’s go with this picture of a nun in a gas mask and mention the real cover later. Killer Nun…. you know this really isn’t a bad Nunsploitation movie… it’s just… kind of… not awesome…. This could have totally used some more Nunsploiting or some more blood or some more action or some more skin and less high pitched screaming and eye acting to me.  I will say that I […]

Categories: 70s, Grindhouse, Two Top Hats • Tags: Anita Ekberg, Boobs, Crazy Nuns!!, Italian Horror, Joe Dallesandro, Killer Nun 1979 Movie Review, Lou Castel, Nerina Montagnani, Paola Morra, Suor Omicidi

16
THEDOUBLETAKE

THE IPC DOUBLE TAKE ~ FEATURING LEMUEL SEVERANCE: KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (!!!) (1978)

October 8, 2012 by theipc

A month or so ago, Lem and I were talking on instant message about something or other and we delved into KISS and THE IPC here and at the very same moment we were both “What was that movie they made?” and then we both: “PHANTOM OF THE PARK!!!!” and instantly knew we would be doing this project! When I was first thinking about it, I was so excited to do this because it’s been so long since I’ve seen […]

Categories: 70s, Excitement, The IPC Double Take • Tags: Ace Frehley, Anthony Zerbe, Brion James, Deborah Ryan, Fucking Awesome, Gene Simmons, KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK Movie review, KISS!!!, Lisa Jane Persky, Paul Stanley, Peter Criss

22
kmka

GIALLORAMA! THE KILLER MUST KILL AGAIN (1975) THREE TOP HATS

October 3, 2012 by theipc

Well – this isn’t going to go down as one of my favorite movies I’ve ever borne witness to but it wasn’t too bad. I actually thought the first twenty minutes and the last ten were pretty good, but it sure was slow in between… I usually like to take notes on some of these – especially the giallo – but this one was pretty much uninteresting for most of the run time and this is all I have: polio shot scars! […]

Categories: 70s, Giallo, Hostages, Three Top Hats • Tags: Alessio Orano, Antoine Saint-John, Boobs, Cristina Galbo, Eduardo Fajardo, Femi Benussi, George Hilton, Giallo, Italian Horror, Tere Velázquez, The Killer Must Kill Again Movie Review

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mama1

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 10: MAMA DRACULA (1980) ONE PAIR OF KISS BOOTS

September 26, 2012 by theipc

The intro to this is, more than anything, a harbinger nod foreshadowing hint clue of something I think is going to be super awesome love it very amazing coming in the future here at THE IPC, but I am reliant on someone else’s use of their hard earned free time so I wait patiently.  I can’t go into too may details about this so let’s just put on our Starchild makeup and our leather capes and our KISS boots and […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, I'm Stupid, Two Top Hats • Tags: Alexander Wajnberg, Drive In, Jess Hahn, Jimmy Shuman, Louise Fletcher, Mama Dracula Movie Review, Marc-Henri Wajnberg, Maria Schneider, Marie-Françoise Manuel, Michel Israel, Nancy Hawaii, Terrible, The 80s, The Worst

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DTAD

GIALLORAMA! DON’T TORTURE A DUCKLING (1972) FOUR TOP HATS

September 19, 2012 by theipc

The other day Mary came up to me and asked what was on my IPC agenda for the next few days and I told her about what I had and she frowned and said something like “No more Giallos….?? You’re abandoning your roots….” and I replied with something like “no no no no no I just don’t ave any handy” and she went “whatever dude, you’re leaving us all hanging” and left my office. I forgot to mention to her […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, 70s, Thriller, Giallo • Tags: Barbara Bouchet, Don't Torture a Duckling Movie Review, Florinda Bolkan, Giallorama!, Irene Papas, Italian Giallo, Lucio Fulci, Not bad, Tomas Milian

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SW

SATAN’S WIFE (1979) THREE TOP HATS

September 10, 2012 by theipc

OH BOY. With a name like that and that caption, you would think this would be as sleazy as it gets but it’s really not. Sure there’s some naked women in this but the film is so blurry that you wouldn’t know it. The implication here is that Old Scratch is super horny and he kind of gets it on in the beginning but that’s about it. Nothing remotely as exciting as the cover happens in this but I didn’t […]

Categories: 70s, Three Top Hats • Tags: Anne Heywood, Ezio Miani, Irene Papas, John Phillip Law, Lara Wendel, Marisa Mell, Old Scratch, Ring of Darkness Movie Review, Satan's Wife Movie Review, Valentina Cortese

6
SAC

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 9: DRIVE – IN MASSACRE (1977) THREE SEALS AND CROFTS RECORDS

September 5, 2012 by theipc

I used to LOVE Seals and Crofts back when I was a kid. I remember sitting around in my room at whatever apartment my mom and I were living in at the time and putting one of their albums on the old record player and listening to the whole thing over and over. This and some Alan Parsons Project. And Queen! WHAT! Aw shit! Every time I hear a “SaC” song it fills me with sweet nostalgia of different times; times when […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, Grindhouse • Tags: 1970s, Catherine Barkley, Douglas Gudbye, Drive - In Massacre Movie Review, Drive In, Germy the Geek, Jacqueline Giroux, John F. Goff, Verkina Flower

6
LASERBLAST

FROM THE MST3K FILES 2 – LASERBLAST (1978)

August 29, 2012 by theipc

Today we present a VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY special treat in the form of a guest article from none other than WEDNESDAY’S CHILD who runs one of my favorite places to read almost every day at DEEP RED RUM! The other week I published EEGAH and we had some good conversation about MST3K and I badgered asked her some freelance work here and she eventually relented agreed. I proudly present some fine, fine writing from one of my best bloggy […]

Categories: 70s, MST3K • Tags: Cheryl Smith, Claymation aliens, Dennis Burkley, Gianni Russo, Kim Milford, Laserblast Movie Review, MST3K, Roddy McDowall, Ron Masak

7
SMOKE

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 8: SLASHED DREAMS (1975) TWO CIGARETTE ADS

August 8, 2012 by theipc

Do you remember these bad boys? Alluring and seductive models giving you an “I will give you sex” look or butch, handsome and mustachioed men and their moose knuckles looking into the camera and letting you know that everything will be better in the sack if we smoke some Camel straights? I think they banned these a couple of decades ago, but I don’t read many magazines any longer so I haven’t really noticed. In either case, fire it up if that’s what you […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, Grindhouse • Tags: Anne Lockhart, Kathrine Baumann, Peter Hooten, Robert Englund, Skinny Dipping, Slashed Dreams Movie Review, Sunburst Movie Review

7
MM1

THE TRIPLE PLAY: THE MAD MAX TRILOGY

August 1, 2012 by theipc

I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to do this, since Beyond Thunderdome is another one of my top 25 of all time (if there was such a thing), but – away we go! MAD MAX (1979) THREE MR. DEADS “Mr. Deads”? Huh? Wha? It’s from a line in Beyond Thunderdome: “I ain’t Captain Walker. I’m the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket.” But we’re not here to talk about Thunderdome (yet), we’re here for Mad […]

Categories: 70s, 80s, Australian, Excitement, The Triple Play • Tags: Apocalypse, Beyond Thunderdome Movie Review, Bruce Spence, Frank Thring, George Miller, George Spartels, Helen Buday, Joanne Samuel, Kjell Nilsson, Mad Max Movie Review, Max Rockatansky, Mel Gibson, Nuclear Apocalypse, Pig Killer, Road Warrior Movie Review, Roger Ward, Savannah Nix, Scrooloose, Steve Bisley, The Mad Max Trilogy, Tina Turner, Virginia Hey

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