Category Archives: Very Gory

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 12: MORTUARY (2005)

May 11, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: Yours Truly A SHITFEST NOTE: When I initially set the number of contestant entries at 32, that was the set up for the big “bracket” voting system to determine the winner. Later, I fielded some righteous and just questions about the bracket system so I met with some counselors and we decided the fairest way would be to select a jury of your peers to vote on their favorites (no jury member can enter their own entry, although, […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Two Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: ALEXANDRA ADI, Bloody, CHRISTY JOHNSON, COURTNEY PELDON, DAN BYRD, DENISE CROSBY, LEE GARLINGTON, MICHAEL SHAMUS WILES, MORTUARY 2005 MOVIE REVIEW, Not Very Good, SHITFEST 2013!, TARAH PAIGE, Tobe Hooper, ZOMBIE BOOBS, Zombies

A SHITFEST 2013 SUPPLEMENT! AN INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL MYERS!

May 5, 2013 by theipc

Surely you know the man…. he’s been gracing our screens and hanging out in the shadows and our nightmares since 1978… it’s none other than Michael Myers (also known as The Shape). Not too long ago I saved up some money and sent Scrotey out to Illinois (with three pre-paid camera phones) to interview the fellow. I haven’t heard from him ever since but, last month, I received a floppy disc in the mail from an unknown sender. It took […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Found Footage, Isaacs Interviews, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, HALLOWEEN 1978, LAURIE STRODE, Michael Myers, SCROTEY, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, THE HALLOWEEN FRANCHISE

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 5: FIVE ACROSS THE EYES (2006)

May 4, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: yours truly From the start, this movie was pretty irritating, then it got VERY irritating, then it kind of got decent and I was thinking that this could be a good movie if it was remade and shot differently, but then the last thirty minutes derailed into very needless, stupid violence that really made no sense whatsoever to anything and it was all I could do to finish it. Let’s see, the shaky cam was stupid, the musical […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013!, Very Gory • Tags: A Terrible Piece of Shit, AFTER ALL OF THAT... NO BOOBS, ANGELA BRUNDA, DANIELLE LILLEY, FIVE ACROSS THE EYES MOVIE REVIEW, JENNIFER BARNETT, MIA YI, MISERABLE, SANDRA PADUCH, SHITFEST 2013!, VERONICA GARCIA

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 4: LIVE ANIMALS (2008)

May 4, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: yours truly Should you decide to challenge yourself and view the heinousness that is LIVE ANIMALS, this is what you will subject yourself to: Bitterly poor acting that may even hurt your feelings it’s so awful Very curious sound dubbing that makes little sense and adds confusion to what’s happening I can’t find a picture of him but one of the main characters has what appears to be a scar on his face that, honestly, looks like a giant turd and seems […]

Categories: Hostages, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Nothing, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013!, Very Gory • Tags: JEANETTE COMANS, LITTLE TO NO BOOBS, LIVE ANIMALS 2008 MOVIE REVIEW, MONICA SUMMERFIELD, PAIN AND MISERY, PAULA ALLEN, POOR QUALITY DVD, SARAH EWELL, SHITFEST 2013!, SHITTY, STACY STILL, Terrible

SHITFEST 2013 UPDATE

April 22, 2013 by theipc

The response to this has been much greater than I could have imagined — you people are SO WONDERFUL!! This could be somewhat epic!!! So far at least SIXTEEN people have replied that they’d contribute to the big festival with one or maybe more submissions!! HOW EXCITING!!! We might even be able to do this for the ENTIRE month of May instead of just the weekdays!! When I first thought about this, I figured I would just watch a bunch […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!

STAKE LAND (2010) THREE MAYBE FOUR TOP HATS

April 18, 2013 by theipc

* No interview today – mainly because I’ve been lazy very busy lately* I’ve been putting this movie off for a long time until a couple of my favorite bloggers wrote about how much they liked it. I finally got around to it and I was originally going to title this with a “ONE TOP HAT” and really singe Tyson’s pubes to get him yelling at me but I changed my mind and went with what I did. TYSON’S STAKE […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Vampires, Very Gory • Tags: Adam Scarimbolo, Apocalyptic Wasteland Rapists, Bloody, Bonnie Dennison, Connor Paolo, Danielle Harris, Gregory Jones, Kelly McGillis, Marianne Hagan, Nick Damici, No Boobs, Stake Land Movie Review, Vampires, Vonia Arslanian

CUBE (1997) THREE TOP HATS

April 17, 2013 by theipc

1997??? Has it been THAT long since this came out??? Time sure does fly. I remember, I guess, I watched this in my old apartment with my old roommate and I don’t remember being blown away by it the first time. It seemed kind of fuzzy when I opened the Netflix package the other week and I was all – hmmmmm – but that was when we use to sit around drinking cheap Scotch and Keystone beers for hours and […]

Categories: 90s, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Sci - Fi, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Absolutely No Boobs, Andrew Miller, Cube 1997 Movie Review, Cubes, David Hewlett, Gory, ICE CUBE IS NOT IN THIS, Julian Richings, Math, Maurice Dean Wint, Nicky Guadagni, Nicole de Boer, No Boobs, That's NOT the Dude From Office Space, Vincenzo Natali

MASK MAKER (2010) THREE TOP HATS

April 15, 2013 by theipc

The only reason I had an interest to watch this movie was one of the actresses. When Quirk Books released “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls” (a review over on the library page) they also produced a “book trailer” which was one of the most awesomely fun ideas – and awesomely fun to watch. Anyway, the actress doing the lead Elizabeth Bennet in the trailer is a really hot act, so I checked her out on IMDB and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: A.J. Allegra, Annabella Casanova, Boobs, Lara Grice, Mariah Bonner, Mask Maker Movie Review, Nikki Deloach, Stephen Colletti, Surprisingly Good, Terry Kiser, Treat Williams

EVIL DEAD (2013) FOUR FLESHBOUND BOOKS OF THE DEAD

April 5, 2013 by theipc

Here’s a quickie about this if you’re on the fence whether or not to see this this weekend (and the we’ll get into some deeper thoughts below): this is a total must-see-in-the-theater if you’re into stuff like this, but be warned, it’s a bloody, bloody motherfucker with a handful of seriously sphincter clenching, squirm moments. I don’t think anyone will come out of this thinking it’s the most terrifying thing they’ve ever seen, but it’s good, good, bloody fun! Now […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Very Gory • Tags: Awesome, Balls Out Fun, Bloody, Elizabeth Blackmore, Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2013 Movie Review, Fede Alvarez, Jane Levy, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Phoenix Connolly, Shiloh Fernandez

BLACK SHEEP {NOT THE CHRIS FARLEY ONE} (2006) THREE TOP HATS

March 19, 2013 by theipc

BLACK SHEEP is a strange one – INSANELY gory (there’s one scene in a – what is it called – I guess it would be a “rendering pit” that’s sickening), pretty funny and dark, has great dialogue and is spoken in my favorite accent – Australian / New Zealand. On the other hand, it’s half disgusting, doesn’t make a lot of sense, includes a sheep driving a truck and………. AND…… I think the lead’s brother character is implied to be […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Black Sheep (2006) Movie Review (not the chris farley job), Jonathan King, Killer Mutated Sheep!!!, Nathan Meister, No Boobs, Oliver Driver, Tammy Davis, Tandi Wright, Very Bloody

MY GUEST POST @ FILM HIPSTER: MANIAC (1980)

March 15, 2013 by theipc

Not too long ago Chris approached me about being a Hipster For A Day and I said “Absolutely, but I’m not wearing any skinny jeans!! Or a scarf!!” He said that was a deal breaker – but since we never see each other in person he shouldn’t have any idea of what I’m wearing today. Or any day for that matter! Anyway – I thought I’d spice up filmhipster with a little saucy 80s horror – in his format. Enjoy!! Click any word here to head to […]

Categories: 80s, Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Abigail Clayton, Bloody, Caroline Munro, Gory, Joe Spinell, Maniac 1980 Movie Review, Slasher, Tom Savini, Ugly People

DOG SOLDIERS (2002) FOUR TOP HATS

March 11, 2013 by theipc

My wife likes to make fun of me retell the story of the first time I watched THE DESCENT. She was downstairs watching something or other and I was upstairs. She was minding her own business and suddenly she heard a scream from the room I was in. So she ran upstairs to see what was wrong with me – was there a spider around?? Did i hurt myself somehow?? Did the dog throw up in my lap again?? Of course it […]

Categories: Action, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Awesome, Bloody, Darren Morfitt, Dog Soldiers Movie Review, Emma Cleasby, Kevin McKidd, Liam Cunningham, Neil Marshall, No Boobs, Scottish, Sean Pertwee, Werewolves

SICK GIRL (2007) THIS MOVIE SUCKS

March 9, 2013 by theipc

***SPOILERS AND SALTY LANGUAGE THROUGHOUT*** A couple of quick notes: The movie poster for this is pretty gnarly so I touched it up a little bit before posting This is 100,000,000 % NOT associated with Lucky McKee I would normally put this on the MOST UNCLEAN page – but I was having fun writing this so it’s out here instead. ~ and here we go ~ I am actually writing this WHILE I am watching this because this movie sucks so bad I […]

Categories: HUH???, I'm Stupid, Most Unclean, Movie Reviews, Nothing, Very Gory • Tags: Most Unclean, My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, Sick Girl

THE BLOGGERS CUT: THE EXPENDABLES 3 (Episode 1)

March 5, 2013 by theipc

We all love film. And when it comes to our favorites, we always like to watch special editions like The Director’s Cut or The Extended Cut or The 25th Anniversary Three More Seconds Added Cut. Today we’re proud to announce the arrival of a new kind of cut – THE BLOGGERS CUT – presented by Chris from filmhipster and Eric from THE IPC. This will be OUR take on how a movie really should have gone or even how it really should go. Please enjoy: THE EXPENDABLES 3!!

Categories: 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, The Blogger's Cut!!!, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, DANGER!!!, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Intrigue, Jared The Subway Guy!!, KISS BOOTS!!, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, MAYHEM!!, Sly Stallone, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Wonder Woman!!

ISAACS ARCANUM: THE CRAZIES (2010) FOUR TOP HATS

February 16, 2013 by theipc

*** (The ARCANUM feature is my attempt to present some of my older write-ups to newer Good and Most Beloved and Precious Readers) THE CRAZIES remake is all kinds of awesome, IMO. I don’t know if it’s just Timothy Olyphant or Radha Mitchell or Joe Anderson as the deputy but I can watch this over and over and over. This is actually one of the very first things I ever posted on WP, so this one is kind of special to me. I present it here, remastered (and spell […]

Categories: Excitement, Four Top Hats, Isaacs Arcanum, Very Gory • Tags: Awesome, Breck Eisner, Christie Lynn Smith, Danielle Panabaker, Isaacs Arcanum, Joe Anderson, Mutations!!, Radha Mitchell, The Crazies (2010) Movie Review, Timothy

THE ABCs OF DEATH ({released} 2013) NOT QUITE WHAT I HOPED FOR : (

February 9, 2013 by theipc

I just want to come right out and say this: I had been very eagerly excited for this for a year or longer. Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and then I found out that this came out and NO ONE TOLD ME??????!!!!!???? so - coincidentally, I had to take off (the day of this writing exercise) for the plumber to come over and I gave this a rent and – I LOVE when people get their movies […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Adam Wingard (segment "Q Is for Quack"), Adrián García Bogliano (segment "B Is for Bigfoot"), Anders Morgenthaler (segment "K is for Klutz"), Andrew Traucki (segment "G is for Gravity"), Angela Bettis (segment "E is for Exterminate"), Banjong Pisanthanakun (segment "N is for Nuptials"), Ben Wheatley (segment "U Is for Unearthed"), Bruno Forzani (segment "O is for Orgasm"), Ernesto Díaz Espinoza (segment "C is for Cycle"), Hélène Cattet (segment "O is for Orgasm"), Jake West (segment "S is for Speed"), Jason Eisener (segment "Y Is for Youngbuck"), Jon Schnepp (segment "W is for WTF?"), Jorge Michel Grau (segment "I is for Ingrown"), Kaare Andrews (segment "V is for Vagitus"), Lee Hardcastle (segment "T Is for Toilet"), Marcel Sarmiento (segment "D Is for Dogfight"), Nacho Vigalondo (segment "A Is for Apocalypse"), Noboru Iguchi (segment "F is for Fart"), Simon Rumley (segment "P Is for Pressure"), Srdjan Spasojevic (segment "R Is for Removed"), Thomas Cappelen Malling (segment "H is for Hyrdo-Electric Diffusion"), Ti West (segment "M Is for Miscarriage"), Timo Tjahjanto (segment "L is for Libido"), Xavier Gens (segment "X Is for XXL"), Yoshihiro Nishimura (segment "Z is for Zetsumetsu"), Yudai Yamaguchi (segment "J is for Jidai-geki")

VENOM (2005) THREE TOP HATS

January 29, 2013 by theipc

My friends – my good, good friends – if you’ve come here to see this Venom: I’m afraid you’re out of luck. Today we are here to talk about this Venom: a man returned from the dead, possessed with souls of thirteen evil and heinous, vile human beings who must murder and keep on murdering, gruesomely slaughtering our group of Bayou teenagers in bloody, bloody ways. Our cast is lead by one of my faves: Agnes Bruckner, seen here previously […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Agnes Bruckner, Bayou, Bijou Phillips, D.J. Cotrona, Davetta Sherwood, Jonathan Jackson, Laura Ramsey, Meagan Good, Method Man, Mr Jangles, Snakes!!, Stacey Travis, Swamps, venom 2005 Movie Review, Voodoo

DREDD (2012) FOUR JUDGE MASKS

January 28, 2013 by theipc

WOAH! I know a lot of people I read went to see this in the theater and (I think) the response was pretty positive all around. I thought it looked like nothing but 3D gimmickry - which not only puts me out to no end but also irritates me and pushes me AWAY from a movie – so I opted to give this one a big skip. After watching this today, I wish I had made a different decision because I would […]

Categories: 2012, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Sci - Fi, Very Gory • Tags: Bloody as fuck, Dredd 2012 Movie Review, Jason Cope, Judge Dredd, Karl Urban, Lena Headey, Olivia Thirlby, Pete Travis, Slo-Mo, Super Hero, The Hall of Justice, Warrick Grier, Wood Harris

WHAT THE HELL?: HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER 2 (1988) THREE STICKPINS

January 23, 2013 by theipc

Well, Good and Most Beloved Readers, if you read my post about the FIRST ONE, you’ll recall that I have never seen any of the sequels, so I went into this pretty blind so, if you’re a big fan of this franchise, please don’t hate me if I don’t like them very much – I didn’t grow up with them like I did the HALLOWEENs or the FRIDAYs. I DO have to report that I liked this one more than […]

Categories: 80s, Cenobites, Population Sample, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Ashley Laurence, Barbie Wilde, Boobs, Cenobites, Clare Higgins, Doug Bradley, Hellraiser, Hellraiser 2 Hellbound, Hellraiser Franchise, Imogen Boorman, Kenneth Cranham, Pinhead, Very Bloody

MAY (2002) FOUR LAZY EYES

January 21, 2013 by theipc

MAY… how do I go about this?? I LOVE this movie – has it really been TEN years since we first met, May? Time sure does fly. Why do I love this movie so much…? Is it because – as I have lamented out here often – that I grew up all alone and I was a very lonely, depressed kid so I totally identify with the main character?? I am actually a very shy fucker and rarely initiate First […]

Categories: Excitement, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Very Gory • Tags: Angela Bettis, Anna Faris, Chandler Riley Hecht, Dolls!!, Isolation, Jeremy Sisto, Loneliness, Lucky McKee, May 2002 Movie Review, Merle Kennedy, Nichole Hiltz, Sad : (, Savagery

KIDS GO TO THE WOODS… KIDS GET DEAD (2009) THREE TOP HATS

January 18, 2013 by theipc

(Note – I watched this last Friday, wrote about it on Saturday, edited it during the week. I normally wouldn’t make this note but this one’s – kind of – thematic and maybe merited it.) This is one of those difficult things to write about, and this is where we all thank the gods of Innovation and Creativity and we applaud the creation of beer and hope that I can get some words out. CHUG. It’s a Saturday afternoon, I’ve […]

Categories: 2013, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: 80s, Amanda Rising, Andrew Waffenschmidt, Bloody, Boobs, Carly Goodspeed, Cool Ass Poster, Eric Carpenter, Gas Masks!!, Horror Comedy, Joseph Campellone, Kevin Shea, Kids Go To The Woods... Kids Get Dead Movie Review, Leah Rudick, Meghan Miller, Michael Hall, Slasher

THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008) FOUR TOP HATS

January 7, 2013 by theipc

Well – I always aspire to come back to you, The Good and Most Beloved and Benevolent Reader and proclaim a movie as wonderful and brilliant and excellent and all of that – and I say that I liked MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN – but, IMO, the ending and reasoning behind everything kind of lamed me out. This was definitely one bloody MO-FO, make no mistake, and everything looked really good and all of that jazz, but the whole reason behind […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Very Gory • Tags: Blood Everywhere, Bloody as fuck, Bradley Cooper, Brooke Shields, Gory, Leslie Bibb, Mad Butcher!!, Roger Bart, Squishy Eyeballs, Stephanie Mace, The Midnight Meat Train Movie Review, TONY CURRAN, Underground Creatures, Vinnie Jones

CREEP VAN (2012) THREE TOP HATS

January 4, 2013 by theipc

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to like a movie titled CREEP VAN. Like TOTES. I so wanted to add this to the list of Where TF did this come from and why hasn’t anyone told me about it, like BLOODY BLOODY BIBLE CAMP or DUST UP. Or THE SLEEPER. The opening sequence was all kinds of exciting and so were the credits. But then it just kind of got a little stale and I didn’t love the dialogue […]

Categories: 2012, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Amy Wehrell, Angelina Armani, Bethany Merrill, Boobs, Brian Kolodziej, Creep Van Movie Review, Holly Kay Baker, Lisa Marie Waishes, Mike Butler, Stalking Van, Stephanie Stacy, Tonya Kay, Veronica Adkinson, Very Bloody, Very Gory

HELLRAISER (1987) THREE STICKPINS

January 2, 2013 by theipc

Is this considered a Classic?? Am I a heretic because I didn’t love it? To my defense – I saw this in the theater with ole LIL PEE PEE back when it came out and, while I don’t remember his reaction, I wasn’t that impressed. In fact I was so not-that-impressed that I have never seen ANY of the sequels. What – are there eight sequels? Nine with that new one? Anyway – I have been wanting to do another […]

Categories: 80s, Cenobites, Four Top Hats, Population Sample, Very Gory • Tags: Andrew Robinson, Ashley Laurence, Cenobites, Clare Higgins, Clive Barker, Hellraiser 1987 Movie Review, Hellraiser Franchise, Pinhead, Sean Chapman, Very Gory

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Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)