Archives

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 12: MORTUARY (2005)

May 11, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: Yours Truly A SHITFEST NOTE: When I initially set the number of contestant entries at 32, that was the set up for the big “bracket” voting system to determine the winner. Later, I fielded some righteous and just questions about the bracket system so I met with some counselors and we decided the fairest way would be to select a jury of your peers to vote on their favorites (no jury member can enter their own entry, although, […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Two Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: ALEXANDRA ADI, Bloody, CHRISTY JOHNSON, COURTNEY PELDON, DAN BYRD, DENISE CROSBY, LEE GARLINGTON, MICHAEL SHAMUS WILES, MORTUARY 2005 MOVIE REVIEW, Not Very Good, SHITFEST 2013!, TARAH PAIGE, Tobe Hooper, ZOMBIE BOOBS, Zombies

STAKE LAND (2010) THREE MAYBE FOUR TOP HATS

April 18, 2013 by theipc

* No interview today – mainly because I’ve been lazy very busy lately* I’ve been putting this movie off for a long time until a couple of my favorite bloggers wrote about how much they liked it. I finally got around to it and I was originally going to title this with a “ONE TOP HAT” and really singe Tyson’s pubes to get him yelling at me but I changed my mind and went with what I did. TYSON’S STAKE […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Vampires, Very Gory • Tags: Adam Scarimbolo, Apocalyptic Wasteland Rapists, Bloody, Bonnie Dennison, Connor Paolo, Danielle Harris, Gregory Jones, Kelly McGillis, Marianne Hagan, Nick Damici, No Boobs, Stake Land Movie Review, Vampires, Vonia Arslanian

EVIL DEAD (2013) FOUR FLESHBOUND BOOKS OF THE DEAD

April 5, 2013 by theipc

Here’s a quickie about this if you’re on the fence whether or not to see this this weekend (and the we’ll get into some deeper thoughts below): this is a total must-see-in-the-theater if you’re into stuff like this, but be warned, it’s a bloody, bloody motherfucker with a handful of seriously sphincter clenching, squirm moments. I don’t think anyone will come out of this thinking it’s the most terrifying thing they’ve ever seen, but it’s good, good, bloody fun! Now […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Very Gory • Tags: Awesome, Balls Out Fun, Bloody, Elizabeth Blackmore, Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2013 Movie Review, Fede Alvarez, Jane Levy, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Phoenix Connolly, Shiloh Fernandez

LOOPER (2012) FIVE POCKET WATCHES

March 25, 2013 by theipc

I’ll be honest – I had been reading so many good reviews about this movie that it was really putting me off watching it. Plus – what’s up with Gordon’s nose prosthetic?? Warily I rented this a month or so ago and, excuse my French, but GOD DAMN this was awesome!!! I know there’s some plot holes and scientific irregularities but, this was all kinds of right up broadway, for me!! Wicked ass action, cool story telling, excellent use of […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Sci - Fi, Thriller • Tags: Bad Ass-ness, Bloody, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Excellent, Garret Dillahunt, Jeff Daniels, Joseph Gordon Lewis, Looper Movie Review, Noah Segan, Paul Dano, Piper Perabo, Science Fiction, The Rainmaker, Time Travel, Tracie Thoms

MY GUEST POST @ FILM HIPSTER: MANIAC (1980)

March 15, 2013 by theipc

Not too long ago Chris approached me about being a Hipster For A Day and I said “Absolutely, but I’m not wearing any skinny jeans!! Or a scarf!!” He said that was a deal breaker – but since we never see each other in person he shouldn’t have any idea of what I’m wearing today. Or any day for that matter! Anyway – I thought I’d spice up filmhipster with a little saucy 80s horror – in his format. Enjoy!! Click any word here to head to […]

Categories: 80s, Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Abigail Clayton, Bloody, Caroline Munro, Gory, Joe Spinell, Maniac 1980 Movie Review, Slasher, Tom Savini, Ugly People

DOG SOLDIERS (2002) FOUR TOP HATS

March 11, 2013 by theipc

My wife likes to make fun of me retell the story of the first time I watched THE DESCENT. She was downstairs watching something or other and I was upstairs. She was minding her own business and suddenly she heard a scream from the room I was in. So she ran upstairs to see what was wrong with me – was there a spider around?? Did i hurt myself somehow?? Did the dog throw up in my lap again?? Of course it […]

Categories: Action, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Awesome, Bloody, Darren Morfitt, Dog Soldiers Movie Review, Emma Cleasby, Kevin McKidd, Liam Cunningham, Neil Marshall, No Boobs, Scottish, Sean Pertwee, Werewolves

THE PROWLER (1981) THREE TOP HATS

March 6, 2013 by theipc

I don’t remember what I was doing at the time, or where I was, or who sent me what, but I remember there was kind of a big deal (at least in whatever circle I was hanging around at the time) when this got released on blu-ray. I had no idea why because I had never seen it or even heard about it, but that was a couple of years ago (I think) and I never bothered with it until […]

Categories: 80s, Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats • Tags: Bayonets!!, Bloody, Boobs, Christopher Goutman, Cindy Weintraub, Diane Rode, Farley Granger, Joseph Zito, Lawrence Tierney, Lisa Dunsheath, Pitchforks!!, Slasher, The Prowler 1981 Movie Review, Vicky Dawson

VERY BAD THINGS (1998) FOUR CORK SCREWS

February 27, 2013 by theipc

I reckon every generation has their own version of THE HANGOVER or SUPERBAD – I am sure that goes without saying. As everyone is aware these days – I’m an old fucker and I remember going to see this in the theater and I remember I was BLOWN AWAY by what I saw that night. These weren’t “A List” movie stars but they were very mainstream and doing a bunch of very un-mainstream things in this. Christian Slater chopped up […]

Categories: 90s, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Thriller • Tags: Bloody, Cameron Diaz, Christian Slater, Daniel Stern, Drugs, Hilarious, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Jeremy Piven, Jon Favreau, Kobe Tai, Leland Orser, Murder!!, Peter Berg, Strippers, The Hangover's Dad, Very Bad Things Movie Review

KIDS GO TO THE WOODS… KIDS GET DEAD (2009) THREE TOP HATS

January 18, 2013 by theipc

(Note – I watched this last Friday, wrote about it on Saturday, edited it during the week. I normally wouldn’t make this note but this one’s – kind of – thematic and maybe merited it.) This is one of those difficult things to write about, and this is where we all thank the gods of Innovation and Creativity and we applaud the creation of beer and hope that I can get some words out. CHUG. It’s a Saturday afternoon, I’ve […]

Categories: 2013, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: 80s, Amanda Rising, Andrew Waffenschmidt, Bloody, Boobs, Carly Goodspeed, Cool Ass Poster, Eric Carpenter, Gas Masks!!, Horror Comedy, Joseph Campellone, Kevin Shea, Kids Go To The Woods... Kids Get Dead Movie Review, Leah Rudick, Meghan Miller, Michael Hall, Slasher

EXCISION (2012) FOUR TOP HATS

December 28, 2012 by theipc

Soooooooooooooo – I have read exactly two reviews of this movie; one friend hated it and the other thought it was pretty excellent, so I had to go check it out for myself. I found a couple of problems in here but overall, I think the entire package is pretty good. It was certainly bloody and I loved the camera work and sets. I could have done without some of the artsy fartsy dream imagery and found it not believable […]

Categories: 2012, Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: AnnaLynne McCord, Ariel Winter, Artsy Fartsy, Bloody, Cole Bernstein, Excision Movie Review, Marlee Matlin, Molly McCook, Natalie Dreyfuss, Ray Wise, Richard Bates Jr., Roger Bart, Traci Lords

KILLER JOE (2011) 5 DRUMSTICKS

December 21, 2012 by theipc

I feel like, after watching this and then thinking about it for a good minute – that I should begin this way: I have never really cared for McConaughey. Sure I liked REIGN OF FIRE, FRAILTY and U-571 (and, of course, him in TROPIC THUNDER) but I’ve never been able to really cheer for him in anything else that I can think of. I also don’t care much for Emile Hirsch. And, this could be heresy, but I have never […]

Categories: 2012, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Bloody, Contract Killer!!, Emile HIrsch, Excellent, Gina Gershon, Julia Adams, Juno Temple, Killer Joe Movie Review, Matthew McConaughey, Thomas Haden Church, William Friedkin

SUSPIRIA (1977) FOUR TOP HATS (I THINK)

December 19, 2012 by theipc

I would like to go on the record and report that I think this is a really good movie BUT the copy I got from Netflix was so shitty I could barely make out what was going on most of the time. It looked like this was really put together well and it seemed like the directing was sound and I think the musical score may have been used a little too much but it sounded creepy. I’m not positive […]

Categories: 70s, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Alida Valli, Barbara Magnolfi, Bloody, Dario Argento, Flavio Bucci, Jessica Harper, No Boobs, Pretty Awesome, Stefania Casini, Susanna Javicoli, Suspiria 1977 Movie review, Udo Kier, Witches!!

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984) FOUR SANTA HATS

December 14, 2012 by theipc

Here’s part 2 of our big double feature for the day!! Enjoy!! AHHHHHHHH – Silent Night, Deadly Night…. one of my childhood favorites!! Do you know that I actually saw this at a Drive – In?? No lie!! The last one I ever went to. So, for those of you who follow the DRIVE IN site – YOU KNOW I’m gonna put something out there about this too, although it will probably be much more… racy. So, yep, saw this […]

Categories: 80s, Drive - In, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Holidays, Slasher • Tags: Bloody, Boobs, Booze, Britt Leach, Danny Wagner, Deadly Night 1984 Movie Review, Drive In, Gilmer McCormick, H.E.D. Redford, Killer Santa!!, Linnea Quigley, Linnea Quigley's Boobs, Mean Nuns, Robert Brian Wilson, Silent Night, Toni Nero

SILENT NIGHT (2012) FOUR SANTA HATS

December 14, 2012 by theipc

Sooooo – I really was going to do this whole Advent Calendar 12 Days of Christmas thing and offer up prizes every day like those calendars I used to get every year at Christmas. But I got behind on my list of of Killer Christmas movies and it’s probably going to be more like the Two Days of Christmas in a couple of weeks, but I wanted to get this out before the weekend in case you’re thinking of renting […]

Categories: 2012, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Holidays, Very Gory • Tags: Ali Tataryn, All Kinds of Fun, Bloody, Brendan Fehr, Cortney Palm, Courtney-Jane White, Donal Logue, Ellen Wong, Excellent, Jaime King, Jessica Cameron, Kelly Wolfman, Killer Santa!!, Lisa Marie, Malcolm McDowell, Silent Night 2012 Movie Review, Steven C Miller

NIGHTMARES (1980) THREE TOP HATS

November 5, 2012 by theipc

(please note: this was written the other night and not this morning…) I had never even heard of this slasher until today – have you?? This started off really excellent – like – all kinds of fun and then it got a little boring up until the very end. Honestly – aside from the slasher premise behind this, this Ozploitation really doesn’t make any fucking sense at all but it does have some pretty bloody kills and isn’t afraid to show some […]

Categories: 80s, Australian, Slasher, Three Top Hats • Tags: Adele Lewin, Australian Horror, Bloody, Boobs, Briony Behets, Gary Sweet, Jenny Neumann, Max Phipps, Nightmares 1980 Movie Review, Nina Landis, Slasher, Stage Fright Movie Reviw, Sue Jones, Tits McGillicutty

TUCKER AND DALE VS EVIL (2010) FOUR.9 TOP HATS

July 17, 2012 by theipc

H-o-l-y shit this was hilarious! Well wait, let me step back for a sec. Last year Mary and I were talking about something and she said something to the effect of “OMG you have to watch Tucker and Dale vs Evil!! it’s soooooooo funny!!” and I looked at the poster above and thought “oh great, more redneck humor,” and I lied and said “I’ll get to it sometime” and then passed it off as “not”. I have never been into […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Alan Tudyk, Bloody, Cabin in the Woods, Chelan Simmons, Fantastic Cleavage, Fucking Awesome, Horror Comedy, Jesse Moss, Katrina Bowden, Tucker and Dale vs Evil Movie Review, Tyler Labine

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE CRIMSON RIVERS TWOSOME

March 19, 2012 by theipc

I wrote about The Crimson Rivers a while back and just got to the sequel so, in order to keep these things properly grouped, here it is again (in case you missed it) and Angels of the Apocalypse below. Writing that made me think that the last two movies I’ve seen are both derivatives of “an apocalypse” which made me think of the word “thematic” (which these aren’t intended to be) which made me think of a message I got from my […]

Categories: Double Feature, Four Top Hats • Tags: Angels of the Apocalypse, Benoit Magimel, Bloody, Camille Natta, French Movie, Horror Movie, Jean Reno, Movie Review, Nadia Fares, The Crimson Rivers, The Professional, Vincent Cassel

EDEN LAKE (2008) THREE TOP HATS

January 5, 2012 by theipc

The way I see it, back in 2002 Eli Roth, with Cabin Fever, by his own words, brought horror back to the way it used to be: gruesome, bloody and a load of unclothed bodies. To follow, in 2003 we got Alexandre Aja’s, French “High Tension” that upped the ante quite a bit with the blood and gore and brutal, very realistic horror effects. For horror fans, this was all good, and we must have paid good money for these, […]

Categories: Hostages, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Very Gory • Tags: Alexandre Aja, blood and gore, Bloody, Eden Lake Movie Review, Gory, horror effects, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Kelly Reilly, Michael Fassbender, realistic horror, trash dumpster

CHILLERAMA (2011) THREE TOP HATS

November 29, 2011 by theipc

I have been waiting for this to come out for a long time – since I really dig Adam Green’s films. What can be better than an anthology of disgusting B-Movie parodies from Green (Hatchet and Hatchet 2, Frozen), Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs), Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn 2 {the best of that series so far}) and a dude named Adam Rifkin who I have never heard of or seen any of his movies? The theory is this: the local drive […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: Adam Green, Adam Rifkin, Anne Frankenstein, B Movie, Bloody, Boobs, Chillerama Movie Review, Drive In, Gory, Horror Comedy, Horror Movie, I Was a Teenage Werebear, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Joe Lynch, Kane Hodder, Musical Number, Peniles, Tim Sullivan, Wadzilla, Zom B Movie

Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)