Archives

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 22: SUGAR BOXX (2009)

May 19, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: YOURS TRULY Emulating the “Women in Prison” exploitation from the 70′s, these guys have brought us Sugar Boxx – a movie about hookers hooking it up, getting thrown in jail, being abused, being made to turn tricks every Saturday – and their machete chopping revenge. This also comes complete with a score “Shaft” shat, whippings, abusive cops, abusive guards, the sadistic warden , delousing baths, a tickle fight, a muscle car, “hard core women who live like savages in […]

Categories: 2013, Grindhouse, HUH???, I'm Stupid, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Boobs, female inmates, Geneviere Anderson, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Pretty Stupid, prostitution ring, sadistic warden, SHITFEST 2013!, Sugar Boxx Movie Review, Thela Brown, This Movie Sucked, tits

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 19: SPRING BREAK MASSACRE (2008) CLOSE TO NSFW

May 16, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: SCROTEY!!!!! Please note: Scrotey doesn’t have a blog or a website or even a calculator. We’ve been friends for almost 30 years and we recently sat down and put this together for SHITFEST 2013. ENJOY!! Hello there good people. My name is Chris (ED: SCROTEY!!!) and I’m taking my first shot at reviewing a movie so bear with me. My good friend Eric put together this shitfest thing and asked me if I would contribute. So, with fair […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher • Tags: Aly Hartman, Blood!!, Boobs, Butts, Erin Meyers, GIRLS KISSING GIRLS, Linnea Quigley, Renee Darmiento, Sarah Minnich, SCROTEY, Slasher, SPRING BREAK MASSACRE 2008 MOVIE REVIEW, Toni Buena

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 16: SEX AND THE CITY (2008)

May 14, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: 5 WORD MOVIE REVIEWS When people ask me what type of films I like to watch, my usual response is “I’ll watch anything”. It’s a small thing to be boastful of, but I pride myself on being able to sit through and find something to appreciate in just about every film I can get my grubby little hands on. Well, dear readers, today is the day that hubris finally came back to bite me in the ass. Charlie […]

Categories: 2013, 90s, HUH???, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: 5 WORD MOVIE REVIEWS, Boobs, Chris Noth, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE REVIEW, SHITFEST 2013!

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 15: NAIL GUN MASSACRE (1985)

May 13, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: WIDE WEIRD WORLD OF CULT FILMS Nail Gun Massacre (1985) Director: Terry Lofton Stars: Rocky Patterson, Ron Queen, and Beau Leland This low budget flick from Texas starts off with a good old fashioned gang rape. From there, no time is wasted as people show up only to be picked off by duct taped motorcycle helmet wearing, nail gun toting nutcase who spouts off such corny one liners, I would have requested a couple of nails for each […]

Categories: 2013, 80s, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Beau Leland, Boobs, FLEXING MALE BUTTOCKS, Michelle Meyer, Rocky Patterson, Ron Queen, Sebrina Lawless, SHITFEST 2013!, Staci Gordon, THE NAIL GUN MASSACRE 1985 MOVIE REVIEW, WIDE WEIRD WORLD OF CULT FILMS

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 13: MOTHER’S DAY (1980)

May 12, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!!!!! MOTHER’S DAY (1981) Trailer: What’s It About: I’ll keep this synopsis brief since this film really doesn’t bring in anything new to the horror/slasher genre. This Troma classic was filmed at the same time as the original Friday the 13th (at the same New Jersey forest location too!) and is more akin to a terrorized-girls-seek-revenge flick like I Spit on Your Grave rather than a straight-up horror picture like the Friday the 13th series. Directed by Charlie […]

Categories: 2013, 80s, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: BEATRICE PONS, Boobs, CHARLES KAUFMAN, DEBORAH LUCE, FREDERICK COFFIN, HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO, HILLBILLIES, MOTHER'S DAY 1980, NANCY HENDRICKSON, NECK BRACES, SHITFEST 2013!, TIANA PIERCE, Troma, YOKELS

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 11: WICKED LAKE (2008)

May 11, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: Yours Truly *There’s a boob below* (Remember – I want to post something every day this month and since I don’t get a ton of traffic on the weekends, this is were I’ll post my entries. That way YOUR work can get all of the attention : ) ) This movie was supposed to be about four hot chicks who go to a lake and get it on with each other and then are harassed by two different […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Angela Bettis, Boobs, CARLEE BAKER, EVE MAURO, Misery, Most Unclean, PHOENIX RAE, ROBYN SYDNEY, SHITFEST 2013!, SO FUCKING STUPID, Terrible, WICKED LAKE MOVIE REVIEW, Witches!!

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 7: SHARK IN VENICE (2008)

May 7, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: BANANAS ABOUT MOVIES Roger Ebert said, “You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made. No longer.” However, bad films poorly made are still out there, still being birthed from the crack addled mind of whatever writer or director is bonkers enough to think they can make movies. Shark in Venice is one of those films. The film stars Stephen “Not as good as Alec” Baldwin, and the seemingly less talented (but no less busty) older […]

Categories: 2013, Action, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: BANANAS ABOUT MOVIES, Boobs, HILDA VAN DER MEULEN, LONG LOST TREASURE, MAFIA, MONKEYBOY, SHARK IN VENICE, SHARKS, SHITFEST 2013!, SOUNDS TERRIBLE, STEVEN BALDWIN, VANESSA JOHANSSON

A SHITFEST 2013 SUPPLEMENT! AN INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL MYERS!

May 5, 2013 by theipc

Surely you know the man…. he’s been gracing our screens and hanging out in the shadows and our nightmares since 1978… it’s none other than Michael Myers (also known as The Shape). Not too long ago I saved up some money and sent Scrotey out to Illinois (with three pre-paid camera phones) to interview the fellow. I haven’t heard from him ever since but, last month, I received a floppy disc in the mail from an unknown sender. It took […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Found Footage, Isaacs Interviews, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, HALLOWEEN 1978, LAURIE STRODE, Michael Myers, SCROTEY, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, THE HALLOWEEN FRANCHISE

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 1: BLOODY MARY (2006)

May 1, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: yours truly *Semi NSFW* Honestly, this wasn’t as god-awful as I feared it would be, but it was pretty, pretty stinky. The acting was atrocious by everyone involved, I don’t know what kind of camera they used but I could barely see what was going on half the time, there’s a character in here -that supposedly has some sort of importance in the plot – that makes no fucking sense, the special effects were really kind of terrible […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Two Top Hats • Tags: Amber Borycki, Anna Pippus, Awful, Bloody Mary Movie Review, Boobs, Cory Monteith, Danni Ravden, Eero Johnson, Kim Tyler, Lindsay Marett, Ricky 'Railroad' Reynolds, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, Theres a Character in this named Railroad, Witches!!

SHITFEST 2013: THE OPENING CEREMONY!!

April 30, 2013 by theipc

HI!! Welcome to the opening ceremonies for SHITFEST 2013!! This is a Film Festival / Contest where we will be discussing and showcasing the shittiest movies we’ve seen! The rules are very simple: no genre limitation (although horror is preferred), no year of release limitation and it doesn’t have to be something you just sat down and watched last night (as in: it can be something you’ve already written about that you would like to include here). There will be […]

Categories: 2013, Action, Cannibal Bastards, Drama, Drive - In, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Found Footage, Giallo, Grindhouse, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Boobs, Five Top Hats, FUN, Insanity, Intrigue, Murder!!, Mystery!!, SCROTEY, Sex, SHITFEST 2013!

SHITFEST 2013 UPDATE 2

April 26, 2013 by theipc

SHITFEST 2013 fires up next Wednesday and I thought I would make a couple of announcements real quick! The plan is to have 32 entries in all and I have 28 wonderful people who have said they would submit one or two things – so there’s still a few open slots if you want to join the fun. I know that we’re all busy and people get sick so I can provide any filler that’s needed, I just would rather […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!, Very Gory

SHITFEST 2013 UPDATE

April 22, 2013 by theipc

The response to this has been much greater than I could have imagined — you people are SO WONDERFUL!! This could be somewhat epic!!! So far at least SIXTEEN people have replied that they’d contribute to the big festival with one or maybe more submissions!! HOW EXCITING!!! We might even be able to do this for the ENTIRE month of May instead of just the weekdays!! When I first thought about this, I figured I would just watch a bunch […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, SHITFEST 2013!, Slasher, Very Gory • Tags: Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!

VOLUNTEERS?? ANYONE??? I’M LOOKING TO DO A FILM FESTIVAL…

April 19, 2013 by theipc

HELLO!! The other day I posted about something and mentioned that I just bought a 16 pack of movies for five bucks that look REALLY SHITTY! Well – I watched one of them and – YES – it was PURE SHIT!! I thought about doing a feature out here called something like “DON’T LOOK IN THE BOX!!” or something and couldn’t come up with a good name so I thought I would “run” a “film festival” called SHITFEST 2013 showcasing […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!

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THE HIDDEN FACE (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

April 16, 2013 by theipc

In all honesty, I’ve seen this thing floating around the download / rental areas for a while now and I’d kept putting it off because of the poster above. I know, I know I shouldn’t be like that but I am and I suck and oh well. One of my friends Gary @ WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY has been mentioning this here and there and eventually he called me out to go watch it and I did and let […]

Categories: Drama, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Spanish, Thriller • Tags: Andrés Baiz, Boobs, Drama, Excellent, La Cara Oculta Pelicula, María Soledad, Martina García, Quim Gutiérrez, The Hidden Face Movie Review, Thriller

MASK MAKER (2010) THREE TOP HATS

April 15, 2013 by theipc

The only reason I had an interest to watch this movie was one of the actresses. When Quirk Books released “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls” (a review over on the library page) they also produced a “book trailer” which was one of the most awesomely fun ideas – and awesomely fun to watch. Anyway, the actress doing the lead Elizabeth Bennet in the trailer is a really hot act, so I checked her out on IMDB and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: A.J. Allegra, Annabella Casanova, Boobs, Lara Grice, Mariah Bonner, Mask Maker Movie Review, Nikki Deloach, Stephen Colletti, Surprisingly Good, Terry Kiser, Treat Williams

ISAACS INTERVIEWS BRIAN FROM HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO (PART 2)

April 11, 2013 by theipc

Welcome again to another wonderful installment in our Interview sessions. This is Part Two with BRIAN from HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO – one of my FAVORITE places on the net!! For real – I eagerly await 3:00 (my time) every day because we get a piss-your-pants funny post! If you don’t already, you HAVE to check them out!! Before we begin, I should let remind you that Brian was once a wooden puppet whose best friend was a cricket. […]

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, Isaacs Interviews • Tags: Boobs, HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO, ISAACS INTERVIEWS, YOU PEOPLE ROCK!!!

THE BLOGGERS CUT WEBSITE IS ALIVE!!: PART 2!!

April 5, 2013 by theipc

In case you missed the big announcement – we’ve turned The Bloggers Cut feature into it’s own site!! Relive TAKEN 2!!! Re-experience the first installment of THE EXPENDABLES 3!! Click anywhere on this post to head to the site!! Sign up!! Follow!! Share!!! Plus: Come check out EPISODE 2 of our new series ‘Three’s Cumpany’. Viewer discretion is Advised! Did you read that last sentence?? Come check us out!! Hopefully you’ll laugh yourself silly!!

Categories: 2013, Excitement, Five Top Hats, The Blogger's Cut!!! • Tags: Boobs, Chrissy Snow Parody, Jack Tripper Parody, Janet Wood Parody, John Ritter Parody, Joyce DeWitt Parody, Mr Roper, Mrs Roper Parody, Sexual Inuendo, Suzanne Somers, The Bloggers Cut, Three's Company Satire, Three's Company Spoof, Three's Cumpany, Threes Company Parody

THE BOOK OF REVELATION (2006) THREE TOP HATS

March 29, 2013 by theipc

~ WARNING: RACY CONTENT AND A RISQUE PICTURE IN THIS ONE ~ Let’s go ahead and get this off the table: this is a weird fucking movie. You know what – let’s get this out there too before you choose to read on or make a determination about this movie: in this you will see a man graphically tugging on his weenus, a man getting it in the butt with a giant strap on, a LOT of female flesh, simulated […]

Categories: Australian, Drama, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Thriller • Tags: Ana Maria Belo, Anna Torv, Australian Thriller, Belinda McClory, Boobs, Captives, Dancing, Deborah Mailman, Geneviève Picot, Greta Scacchi, Nadine Garner, Nina Liu, Sex, The Book of Revelation 2006 Movie Review, Tom Long, Zoe Coyle

THE BLOGGERS CUT WEBSITE IS ALIVE!!

March 27, 2013 by theipc

In case you missed yesterday’s big announcement from FILMHIPSTER – we’ve turned The Bloggers Cut feature into it’s own site!! Relive TAKEN 2!!! Re-experience the first installment of THE EXPENDABLES 3!! Click anywhere on this post to head to the site!! Sign up!! Follow!! Share!!! Plus: Come check out our very new series ‘Three’s Cumpany’. Viewer discretion is Advised! Did you read that last sentence?? Come check us out!! Hopefully you’ll laugh yourself silly!!

THE PROWLER (1981) THREE TOP HATS

March 6, 2013 by theipc

I don’t remember what I was doing at the time, or where I was, or who sent me what, but I remember there was kind of a big deal (at least in whatever circle I was hanging around at the time) when this got released on blu-ray. I had no idea why because I had never seen it or even heard about it, but that was a couple of years ago (I think) and I never bothered with it until […]

Categories: 80s, Movie Reviews, Slasher, Three Top Hats • Tags: Bayonets!!, Bloody, Boobs, Christopher Goutman, Cindy Weintraub, Diane Rode, Farley Granger, Joseph Zito, Lawrence Tierney, Lisa Dunsheath, Pitchforks!!, Slasher, The Prowler 1981 Movie Review, Vicky Dawson

THE BLOGGERS CUT: THE EXPENDABLES 3 (Episode 1)

March 5, 2013 by theipc

We all love film. And when it comes to our favorites, we always like to watch special editions like The Director’s Cut or The Extended Cut or The 25th Anniversary Three More Seconds Added Cut. Today we’re proud to announce the arrival of a new kind of cut – THE BLOGGERS CUT – presented by Chris from filmhipster and Eric from THE IPC. This will be OUR take on how a movie really should have gone or even how it really should go. Please enjoy: THE EXPENDABLES 3!!

Categories: 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, The Blogger's Cut!!!, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, DANGER!!!, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Intrigue, Jared The Subway Guy!!, KISS BOOTS!!, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, MAYHEM!!, Sly Stallone, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Wonder Woman!!

THE BLOGGERS CUT: THE EXPENDABLES 3 ~ THE PROLOGUE

March 4, 2013 by theipc

In the beginning there were the dinosaurs and man was forced to live in caves!! Then an asteroid rained down from the cosmos and killed all of the giant reptiles and man suffered through a terrible era of darkened agony!! Eventually mankind recovered and created movies such as: AND: And some people made MILLIONS of dollars!!!! And opened a chain of restaurants!!!! But good times never last…. hearts get broken and restaurants go bankrupt… But time heals all wounds, gaps close […]

Categories: 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, The Blogger's Cut!!!, Thriller • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, DANGER!!!, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Intrigue, Jared The Subway Guy!!, KISS BOOTS!!, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, MAYHEM!!, Sly Stallone, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Wonder Woman!!

HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT 2 (1987) FOUR BOW TIES

February 25, 2013 by theipc

I don’t know if anyone else has seen this, and I don’t know if anyone’s going to believe me, but this movie was ALL KINDS OF FUN!! Probably, if anyone else has had the pleasure of seeing this at some point in their life – they’ll probably disagree with me but I thought this was a great example of 80′s slasher material with big hair, bushy eyebrows, boobs, tiaras, zombies - solid acting for a movie like this – boobs (what??), blood, […]

Categories: 80s, Excitement, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Population Sample, Slasher • Tags: Beth Gondek, Beverley Hendry, Big Hair and Bushy Eyebrows, Bloody Fun and I Mean That, Boobs, Bruce Pittman, Butts, Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 Movie Review, Judy Mahbey, Lisa Schrage, Louis Ferreira, Michael Ironside, Prom Night Franchise, Prom Night Sequel, Terri Hawkes, Wendy Lyon

COMING SOON! THE EXPENDABLES 3: THE BLOGGERS CUT!!

February 15, 2013 by theipc

From the brilliant minds people that brought you TAKEN 2: THE BLOGGERS CUT!! See it BEFORE it’s in theaters!! THE EXPENDABLES 3: THE BLOGGERS CUT!! Coming soon….

Categories: 2013, Action, Excitement, Five Top Hats, The Blogger's Cut!!! • Tags: #GeorgeTakei, ACTION!!, Alf!!, Boba Fett!!, Boobs, DANGER!!!, ESPIONAGE!!, EXCITEMENT AND FUN, Gene Simmons, George Takei!!, Intrigue, Jared The Subway Guy!!, KISS BOOTS!!, Lynda Carter, Macho Man Randy Savage!!, MAYHEM!!, Sly Stallone, Sulu!!, SWORD FIGHTS!!, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 3: The Bloggers Cut, THRILLS!!!, Wonder Woman!!

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Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)