Isaacs Picture Conclusions

Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)

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ARCANUMii

ISAACS ARCANUM: THE DEAD OUTSIDE (2008) THREE TOP HATS

February 23, 2013 by theipc

*** (The ARCANUM feature is my attempt to present some of my older write-ups to newer Good and Most Beloved and Precious Readers) THE DEAD OUTSIDE – a good, independent, Scottish, “Zombie” flick – originally published out here on November 28, 2011 and, according to the stats here at WP, has had exactly one hit :  ) . Surprisingly, this also has one Twitter share so one person checked it out and shared on Twitter – I BOW in amore to you, my mystery friend : ) […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies, Thriller • Tags: Zombies, Horror Movie, Sandra Louise Douglas, 28 Days Later, The Dead Outside Movie Review, Alton Milne, Sharon Osdin, Kerry Anne Mullaney, Kris R. Bird, Vivienne Harvey, Virus, Plague, Farmhouse, Madness, Violence

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crimsonrivers

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE CRIMSON RIVERS TWOSOME

March 19, 2012 by theipc

I wrote about The Crimson Rivers a while back and just got to the sequel so, in order to keep these things properly grouped, here it is again (in case you missed it) and Angels of the Apocalypse below. Writing that made me think that the last two movies I’ve seen are both derivatives of “an apocalypse” which made me think of the word “thematic” (which these aren’t intended to be) which made me think of a message I got from my […]

Categories: Double Feature, Four Top Hats • Tags: Angels of the Apocalypse, Benoit Magimel, Bloody, Camille Natta, French Movie, Horror Movie, Jean Reno, Movie Review, Nadia Fares, The Crimson Rivers, The Professional, Vincent Cassel

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DAYLIGHT2011

DAYLIGHT (2011) THREE TOP HATS

December 2, 2011 by theipc

If you came here looking for the mediocre, 1996 Sly Stallone movie of the same name, this isn’t it. What this is, according to the log line, is this: “A harrowing psychological thriller from a widely acclaimed filmmaker, Daylight pits a couple lost in America against a conniving gang of kidnappers, in David Barker’s rigorous and personal re-imagining of the genre film.” More thoughts on that below. A very pregnant Swiss woman and her is-he-a-dick Swiss husband are driving their […]

Categories: Hostages, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Alexandra Meierhans, Daylight (2011) Movie Review, Horror Movie, Ivan Martin, Pregnant Hostage

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CHILLER2

CHILLERAMA (2011) THREE TOP HATS

November 29, 2011 by theipc

I have been waiting for this to come out for a long time – since I really dig  Adam Green’s films. What can be better than an  anthology of disgusting B-Movie parodies from Green (Hatchet and Hatchet 2, Frozen), Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs), Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn 2 {the best of that series so far}) and a dude named Adam Rifkin who I have never heard of or seen any of his movies? The theory is this: the local drive […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: Adam Green, Adam Rifkin, Anne Frankenstein, B Movie, Bloody, Boobs, Chillerama Movie Review, Drive In, Gory, Horror Comedy, Horror Movie, I Was a Teenage Werebear, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Joe Lynch, Kane Hodder, Musical Number, Peniles, Tim Sullivan, Wadzilla, Zom B Movie

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DEADOUTSIDE

THE DEAD OUTSIDE (2008) THREE TOP HATS

November 28, 2011 by theipc

I have to admit I was taken in by the colorful poster above, the cool blue eyes and the blood on the mask, as well as the five festival awards. What I got, after a lesson in iPads, VGAs and HDCP, was a really good story with good actors filmed in bleached out white and deep dark blacks that made it sometimes impossible to see what was going on. It also didn’t help that the three main actors had such […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: 28 Days Later, Horror Movie, Sandra Louise Douglas, The Dead Outside Movie Review, Zombies

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DONKEYPUNCH2

DONKEY PUNCH (2008) THREE TOP HATS

November 22, 2011 by theipc

There are a lot of haters out on IMDB hating it up for this movie. “Donkey POOOOOO” they say. “Tripe!” they gripe. “Worst movie ever”. I don’t think it was too bad aside from being a little boring most of the time. It looked nice, the acting was good, it got a little gory here and there and I thought it was mostly believable until the last ten minutes. I also think someone should know what they are getting into […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Buttcrack Movie, Cool Flare Death, Death at Sea, Donkey Punch Movie Review, Gory, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Movie Review

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wlt12

WICKED LITTLE THINGS (2006) TWO TOP HATS

November 21, 2011 by theipc

While I certainly do appreciate the attempts by the After Dark Horrorfest each year, usually these “Too Controversial for Theaters” movies are generally pretty crappy and “Too Boring to Watch”. I caught a couple of them on DVD back when this started: “Dark Ride” (1 TH), “Penny Dreadful” (1 TH), and “The Gravedancers” (1 TH) before I gave up and went on to other things. After Dark 2 came around the next year with eight more films and I caught a few: “Tooth and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: After Dark Horrorfest, Borderland, Chloe Grace Moretz, Evil Zombie Kids, Geoffrey Lewis, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Lake Mungo, Mine Collapse, Movie Review, Scout Taylor Compton, Wicked Little Things Movie Review

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DOGHOUSE

DOGHOUSE (2009) THREE TOP HATS

November 18, 2011 by theipc

First off, my inner Who must say that, not only does this star Noel Clarke (Mickey from the David Tennant era of Doctor Who), but this also has a very small role for the one and only Mary Tamm (Romana 1) from the Tom Baker years, and she has matured very well. It was wonderful to see her again. Secondly, this movie really started off well – it was gory and funny and I liked the way they were going with […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: David Tennant, Doctor Who, Doghouse Movie Review, Horror Movie, Mary Tamm, Mickey, Movie Review, Romana

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cott1

THE COTTAGE (2008) FIVE TOP HATS

August 26, 2011 by theipc

Let me start off by writing that this is my favorite HORROR-COMEDY. This is different than regular HORROR. I probably don’t need to go any further than that, but this doesn’t compare to FROZEN, which doesn’t compare to KICK –ASS, for example.  If any movie actually scared me for a good minute, it’s THE SHINING. If any movie repulsed me it’s MARTYRS, etc. From the genre of EVIL DEAD(s), SHAUN OF THE DEAD, DEAD AND BREAKFAST, etc., this is my […]

Categories: Five Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Andy Sirkis, Horror Comedy, Horror Movie, Movie Review, Peas in the Freezer, The Cottage Movie

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exorc

EXORCISMUS (2010) FOUR TOP HATS

August 26, 2011 by theipc

Well – this has to be the best “exorcism” movie I have seen – but – to be honest, I haven’t seen very many of them.  One of my favorite movies is “Exorcist III” but that’s not really a “possession” film like we see out there: it’s more of a “the devil is playing wicked and deadly games with humans”  movie.  This thing, “Exorcismus”, is an art-house, independent, well-but-over-acted, tense, violent, good looking, frequently creepy movie that suffers from a […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Del Toro Exorcismus, Doug Bradley, Exorcism Movie, Exorcismus Movie, Hellraiser, Horror Movie, Movie Review

1
ET2009

EVIL THINGS (2009) THREE TOP HATS

August 26, 2011 by theipc

This “found footage” movie really had me nervy for a good minute – I mean, honestly nice and tense until a few things happened toward the end that really brought it down. I thought the HD was real fresh (for the handheld camera schtick), I liked that they used not totally attractive actors (except for that blond) to make it more realistic and i thought the premise and direction was good and believable.  There’s a lot of talking and nonsense […]

Categories: Found Footage, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Evil Things Movie, Found Footage, Horror Movie, Movie Review

2
SC

SPIRIT CAMP (2009) FOUR TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

For those of you who read my movie review blog, I am working on another “POPULATION SAMPLE” – the group of girls stranded somewhere (house, sorority, summer camp, etc.) with a killer picking them off one by one sub-genre. I have three of them done, I don’t know how many I can get too – there are lots of them – and I came across this little beauty I watched today, and I liked it so much I wanted it […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Horror Movie, Loved It, Movie Review, Spirit Camp Movie

1
zs

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008) – THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

Since there hasn’t been anything new to get out and watch, I pulled a random movie from our Ottoman (that is filled with DVDs) and took it in over the week. At first I wasn’t going to give this any Top Hats and wait for the viewer to read, watch and comment, but then I figured that’s not the way I do things, so I gave it the median range score and will do two reviews, hopefully short ones, one good […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: Boobs, Horror Movie, Jenna Jameson, Movie Review, Robert Englund, Zombie Strippers

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Altitude

ALTITUDE (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

When I saw the trailer for this piece of work, I got really excited – it looked like we were in for another “Frozen” treat. It looked moody and dark and claustrophobic and afraid-of-flying-willy-inducing, with people opening the hatch, people screaming like crazy, flying around in a twin engine in a bad storm , and some sort of tentacle monster out there waiting to getcha. The movie started off with an harrowing plane crash scene and then a very novel […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Altitude Movie, Giant Squid, Horror Movie, Movie Reviews, Plane Crash

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p3d

PREDATORS (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

I was kind of pumped to see this movie in the theater when it came out, but things didn’t work out for me so I caught it this weekend on Blu Ray. I liked the Predator movies, even the Alien Vs Predators movies, and this was produced by Robert Rodriguez, so I had high hopes. It started off real strong and then just kind of lost steam, slowly, slowly, slowly until the unexciting end. It’s rare for me to “be […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Adrian Brody, Horror Movie, Movie Review, Predators 2010, Robert Rordriguez, Sci-Fi, Topher Grace

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notd

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (2009) THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

I have to start off by saying that I have never seen the original, or the sequels, so I can’t compare anything to them. I wanted to check this one out because it was supposed to be “super violent and sexy”. I also noticed that Shannon Elizabeth (from American Pie) and this actress named Diora Baird (from Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning & 30 Days of Night: Dark Days), both hot acts. So I rented it at the local Blockbuster […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: Diora Baird, Edward Furlong, Horror Movie, Movie Review, Night of the Demons Movie, Night of the Demons Remake, Shannon Elizabeth

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nmoels1

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 22, 2011 by theipc

I never really got into this franchise as much as Halloween or Friday the 13th. I remember I went and saw the first one in the movie theater and I really liked it, then I saw the second there also and it didn’t do anything for me. I think I caught the 4th or 5th one on TV one time and it was filled with a bunch of hokey one liners. Maybe I missed out on some good stuff because […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Clancy Brown, Freddie Krueger, Horror Movie, Jackie Earl Haley, Movie Review, Rooney Mara

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ltroi

ISAACS’ MOVIE CONSIDERATION 1: LET THE RIGHT ONE ON / LET ME IN

August 22, 2011 by theipc

I watched Let The Right One In (from here on out we’ll abbreviate to LTROI) a few years ago and absolutely loved it (I enjoy watching foreign language films even if I have to read them). I loved it, loved it, loved it. It would probably be considered “boring” but, as an only child, I really identified with the main male character Oskar.  It can be kinda sad growing up without much companionship, especially when you get into those puberty […]

Categories: Consideration: Original and Remake, Movie Reviews • Tags: Chloe Grace Moretz, Hit Girl, Horror Movie, Let Me In, Let the Right One In, Loved It, Matt Reeves, Movie Review, Vampires

5
froze

FROZEN (2010) FIVE TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

I give this movie 5 Top hats because, like my legend indicates, this has made my life more enjoyable. This isn’t a review for a newspaper or magazine where I have to weigh the entire library of movies against each other and rate them alike, to get my paycheck.  I really, really liked this movie, even though (especially since) there were about 20 of the most nerve wracking minutes I have spent in a long time in this thing. This […]

Categories: Five Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Adam Green, Emma Bell, Frozen Movie, Horror Movie, Loved It, Movie Review, Torn Apart by Wolves, Trapped in a Ski Lift

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monst

MONSTERS (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

Monsters – The poster depicts two folks in gas masks walking away from some smoking devastation, with two fighter aircraft in the background and a sign reading “INFECTED ZONE”, with the tag line ‘NOW, IT’S OUT TURN TO ADAPT.” The “Log Line” (which is the blurb you write that goes on the back of the DVD cover) reads: “”Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Aliens, Horror Movie, Monsters Movie, Movie Review, Not Very Exciting

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BS

BITCH SLAP (2010) TWO TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

Bitch Slap – this is one of the several “Grindhouse” style films released (usually straight to DVD) over the last few years – I usually love these movies, or attempts, since they recall the old 70s flicks I used to watch on video tape or old HBO late at night while everyone was asleep, during my teens, when I didn’t have to work during the day all week long.  Of the ones I’ve seen, some of better productions of these […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Bitchslap! Review, Horrible Dialogue, Horror Movie, Lack of Boobs, Movie Review, Pretty Stupid, Terrible CGI

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p3d

PIRANHA 3-D (2010) FOUR TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

Oh boy – This was something else… since I don’t work for some syndication, my ratings are my own and I give this four top hats for delivering everything I  had expected, SO – if you are NOT expecting TONS of blood, TONS of body parts, TONS of naked women, and TONS of man eating fish gruesomely ripping college kids apart, then this probably isn’t for you. If that’s what you’re expecting, then this thing delivers. Alexandre Aja, the guy […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Grindhouse, Movie Reviews • Tags: 3D Boobs, Alexandre Aja, Boobs, Elizabeth Shue, Horror Movie, Kelly Brook, Movie Review, Piranha 3D

2
skatd

SOMEONE’S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR (2009) TWO TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

This is a random grab from the BLU RAY and  Doctor Who trunk.  I watched this a few months ago (so it’s not totally current) and my wife is at Photography class,  so I am taking keyboard in hand to offer up my thoughts on this thing. Let’s see here – I started catching this movie as a “recommend” through Amazon before it came out, billed as “The most DEPRAVED film of the 21st century” on  the DVD cover. The […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Horror Movie, Killed by Vagina, Movie Review, Noah Segan, Pretty Stupid, Someone's Knocking at the Door, This Sucked

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THOTD

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL (2009) FOUR TOP HATS

August 21, 2011 by theipc

Every review of this movie usually opens with “You’re either going to love it or hate it”. I REALLY liked this movie and………. it almost got me scared…. (Not like The Descent, shit your pants a couple of times Scared) but the atmosphere kind of had me feeling a little weirded out. As in: “if I was watching this movie at someone else’s house when I was in my teens I would have probably been feeling like I had the […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: 80s Revisit, AJ Bowen, Greta Gerwig, Horror Movie, Jocelin Donahue, Loved It, Mary Woronov, Movie Review, The House of the Devil Movie, Ti West, Tom Noonan

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