Archives

BLACK DEATH (2010) THREE TOP HATS

June 18, 2013 by theipc

I am not the type of guy to use the phrase “this movie doesn’t know what it wants to be” – because I hate that phrase, but I don’t really understand what the ultimate goal of this movie was. It transitions from a bloody, gritty, medieval “crusade” to search out a village that’s not infected with the Black Plague in the 14th century (which is presumably protected by a Satan worshiping necromancer) into a preachy, violent clash between Pagans and […]

Categories: Action, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Thriller, Very Gory • Tags: Black Death, Christians, Kimberley Nixon, Marianne Graffam, Movie Review, Pagans, Plagues, Pustules, Sean Bean

PONTYPOOL (2008) FOUR TOP HATS

April 22, 2013 by theipc

This is kind of a neat, different sort of horror. It takes place (almost) entirely inside a radio station at the bottom of what I think is an old church. But the interesting thing about this is that most of the horror action is happening outside and the three radio employees are getting info on what’s going on in a small, Canadian town called Pontypool by people calling in, eyewitnesses who are screaming, yelling, and talking about people getting eaten, […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews, Thriller, Zombies • Tags: Georgina Reilly, Grant Mazzy, I Need To Shave, Language Virus, Leather Cowboy Hats, Movie Review, Pontypool Movie, Sadly - No Boobs, Small Cast, Stephen McHattie, Zombies

ISAACS ARCANUM: WILDERNESS SURVIVAL FOR GIRLS (2004) THREE TOP HATS

January 12, 2013 by theipc

*** (The ARCANUM feature is my attempt to present some of my older write-ups to newer Good and Most Beloved and Precious Readers) This was originally posted on October 28, 2011. Thinking about this more than a year after I watched it, I remember really liking this but I had a problem with the low budget – not that that’s a big deal to me – I remember that this wasn’t in HD and was hard to see what was going on most of the time, which […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Hostages, Isaacs Arcanum, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Thriller • Tags: Ali Humiston, Eli B. Despres, Four Person Cast, Hostages, Isaacs Arcanum, James Morrison, Jeanette Brox, Kim Roberts, Megan Henning, Movie Review, Pretty Good, Wilderness Survival For Girls

10 FAVORITE DIRECTOR’S QUOTES RELAY RACE

November 9, 2012 by theipc

I’ve never been involved in a Blogathon and this is the first relay race that I’ve been invited into. This one was created originally by David at Taste Of Cinema who provided the following as a description and the aim of the relay… “People love wisdom words from great minds. As a cinephile, I prefer director quotes than words from any other group of people in the world.Their thoughts on cinema not only provide insights into deep understanding of cinema, but also open the […]

Categories: 2012 • Tags: blogathon, film, Movie Review, Movies, reviews

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

November 7, 2012 by theipc

Hi everyone! Once again I have contributed to the growing collection of IMDB’s TOP 250 movies over at HEAD IN A VICE! Tyson is so busy racking up awards and accolades and trophies and plaques and sealed parchments for his work there that he had to go buy himself a new glass-doored cabinet!! If you’re in the mood for some Gregory Peck and some old fashioned, small town nostalgia, please check out my thoughts on TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD HERE. Aside from […]

Categories: 60s, Four Top Hats • Tags: 1960-69, 8 stars, American Classic, Brock Peters, film, Frank Overton, gregory peck, imdb top 250, John Megna, Mary Badham, Movie Review, Movies, Paul Fix, Phillip Alford, reviews, Robert Duvall, Scout Finch, Small Town America, to kill a mockingbird, To Kill A Mockingbird Movie Review

ISAACS ARCANUM: STRANGE GIRLS (2007) FOUR TOP HATS

September 29, 2012 by theipc

I have observed, over the months (as I humbly burn myself in beloved effigy to You Who Have Signed Up to receive emails or spots in your WP reader about the things I write up), that The New Reader usually doesn’t go back in time to The Things That Came Before – which isn’t a bad thing – I understand that it’s just how it goes, but – BUT! – we here at THE IPC have borne witness to some […]

Categories: Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Angela Berliner, Isaacs Arcanum, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Jordana Berliner, Movie Review, Rona Mark, Strange Girls Movie Review, That's What You Get for Chewing

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE CRIMSON RIVERS TWOSOME

March 19, 2012 by theipc

I wrote about The Crimson Rivers a while back and just got to the sequel so, in order to keep these things properly grouped, here it is again (in case you missed it) and Angels of the Apocalypse below. Writing that made me think that the last two movies I’ve seen are both derivatives of “an apocalypse” which made me think of the word “thematic” (which these aren’t intended to be) which made me think of a message I got from my […]

Categories: Double Feature, Four Top Hats • Tags: Angels of the Apocalypse, Benoit Magimel, Bloody, Camille Natta, French Movie, Horror Movie, Jean Reno, Movie Review, Nadia Fares, The Crimson Rivers, The Professional, Vincent Cassel

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FEBRUARY 29TH

February 29, 2012 by theipc

Good morning! February 29th.. this day only comes around every four years, so what better way to celebrate this Strange Day than with the very strange “STRANGE GIRLS“? This is a very bizarre, low budget, well acted (for the most part), probably-not-Hi-Def-rendered movie if you can find it but, I think, if you check it out, you won’t be disappointed in what you see. You should check out the review and try and gauge your opinion and while I think […]

Categories: Holidays, Uncategorized • Tags: Angela Berliner, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Jordana Berliner, Movie Review, Rona Mark, Strange Girls Movie Review, That's What You Get for Chewing Gum

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X (2011) THREE TOP HATS

December 8, 2011 by theipc

I am not sure why this is called “X” other than someone came up with the idea for that sex sells movie poster… This sounded pretty intriguing: two hookers witness a killing and spend their night running for their lives. The trailer was pretty good too, promising some good looking video, some good looking women and a bunch of action. Well, for the first thirty minutes or so I thought I was watching something on Cinemax after midnight, chock full […]

Categories: Australian, Hostages, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Australian Thriller, Boobs, Hookers, Isaacs Picture Conclusions, Movie Review, Viva Bianca, Weenuses, X Movie

NOWHERESVILLE (2011) ONE TOP HAT

December 5, 2011 by theipc

I guess this is one of those movies that gets the one top hat rating but doesn’t go to the Most Unclean list. I guess someone might like this, but I sure didn’t. I realize that it is difficult to make a decent movie where everything takes place in one or two rooms (like this one) but this has to be one of the most boring movies that I have sat through in ages. I dipped into the “Thriller” queue […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: Boresville, Movie Review, Nowheresville Movie Review, Sharina Martin; Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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DONKEY PUNCH (2008) THREE TOP HATS

November 22, 2011 by theipc

There are a lot of haters out on IMDB hating it up for this movie. “Donkey POOOOOO” they say. “Tripe!” they gripe. “Worst movie ever”. I don’t think it was too bad aside from being a little boring most of the time. It looked nice, the acting was good, it got a little gory here and there and I thought it was mostly believable until the last ten minutes. I also think someone should know what they are getting into […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Buttcrack Movie, Cool Flare Death, Death at Sea, Donkey Punch Movie Review, Gory, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Movie Review

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WICKED LITTLE THINGS (2006) TWO TOP HATS

November 21, 2011 by theipc

While I certainly do appreciate the attempts by the After Dark Horrorfest each year, usually these “Too Controversial for Theaters” movies are generally pretty crappy and “Too Boring to Watch”. I caught a couple of them on DVD back when this started: “Dark Ride” (1 TH), “Penny Dreadful” (1 TH), and “The Gravedancers” (1 TH) before I gave up and went on to other things. After Dark 2 came around the next year with eight more films and I caught a few: “Tooth and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: After Dark Horrorfest, Borderland, Chloe Grace Moretz, Evil Zombie Kids, Geoffrey Lewis, Horror Movie, Isaacs Movie Reviews, Lake Mungo, Mine Collapse, Movie Review, Scout Taylor Compton, Wicked Little Things Movie Review

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DOGHOUSE (2009) THREE TOP HATS

November 18, 2011 by theipc

First off, my inner Who must say that, not only does this star Noel Clarke (Mickey from the David Tennant era of Doctor Who), but this also has a very small role for the one and only Mary Tamm (Romana 1) from the Tom Baker years, and she has matured very well. It was wonderful to see her again. Secondly, this movie really started off well – it was gory and funny and I liked the way they were going with […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats, Zombies • Tags: David Tennant, Doctor Who, Doghouse Movie Review, Horror Movie, Mary Tamm, Mickey, Movie Review, Romana

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BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE (2009) TWO TOP HATS

November 11, 2011 by theipc

With a title like that and a poster like this I am sure the only people that are going to watch this are looking for one or two things… that girl without her bikini on or a bunch of gore. Well, the person would be disappointed because there’s not much of either, but surprisingly this wasn’t AS bad as I figured it would be, but that could also be because the last movie I watched was The Stay Awake. In this there […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Bikini Girls on Ice, Moe the Killer, Movie Review

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THE RITE (2011) THREE TOP HATS

November 10, 2011 by theipc

I have to eat crow and say that this movie isn’t too bad… I had been putting off not watching it for a long time because I heard it was boring, not scary and I was put off because it was PG – 13. Well, I watched it today and it really isn’t too bad. It’s not scary one bit and it’s really not too boring, but the stiff lead (if Anthony Hopkins isn’t considered the lead) Colin O’Donoghue didn’t […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Anthony Hopkins, Exorcism, Movie Review, Rutger Hauer, The Rite

THE RESIDENT (2011) TWO TOP HATS

November 8, 2011 by theipc

After trolling around the 70′s and 80′s in the Netflix queue (there’s not much else), I found something more modern, the dud that is ”The Resident”. I do remember this being advertised and then released but I don’t remember hearing about this breaking any box office records, and now I see why. Boring from start to finish this really did nothing for me the entire time except make me wonder why the production company thought this would be a good movie […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Boresville, Hillary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Movie Review, The Resident Movie

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

October 21, 2011 by theipc

I have to say – this is one of the best horror flicks (of this type) put out in years. Not since I was a little kid did I jump this much in a movie – I mean, for real. What’s the definition of scared? Did it scare me? Well – I certainly was startled about a dozen times. I was pretty tense during the final scene. I wasn’t scared like I need to go hide in the closet and […]

Categories: Found Footage, Four Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Movie Review, Paranormal Activity 3

PSYCHOSIS (2010) TWO TOP HATS

September 2, 2011 by theipc

While I have never been to England, from watching movies I have learned that they can show sex on TV there. With that said, my impression of this is an English made for TV film. It’s got a couple of bloody parts, some sex but not nudity (except for this one unfortunate shot of a dude’s doober) and a whole lot of are-they-or-are-they-not hallucination scenes. In the end, you could think to yourself, hmmm that’s kind of clever, but then, […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Movie Review, Psychosis Movie

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BREADCRUMBS (2010) TWO TOP HATS

September 2, 2011 by theipc

Another sick day movie. This one might have scored a three TH but it was just too poorly acted, directed and CGI-d for me. This is a horror take on the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale, and I think the overall plot and story are good, but aside from the cute little girl who plays the “Gretel” part, the acting was deplorable. Considering the actress who (I think) was supposed to be the new face of the Halloween movies starting […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Two Top Hats • Tags: Breadcrumbs Movie, Movie Review

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MUTANTS (2009) THREE TOP HATS

August 28, 2011 by theipc

The French have put out some pretty grizzly, hard to watch horror over the last few years; such as “High Tension”, “Martyrs” and “Frontier(s)”. With “Tension” came a new look at horror, incredibly bloody with all sorts of new horror effects. “Martyrs” has to be the most brutal, sickening movie I have personally ever seen and “Frontier(s)” (I have no idea why the s is there in parentheses) is probably the bloodiest thing I have ever experienced. The trailer for […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: French Horror, Movie Review, Mutants Movie

BLACK DEATH (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 28, 2011 by theipc

I am not the type of guy to use the phrase “this movie doesn’t know what it wants to be” – because I hate that phrase, but I don’t really understand what the ultimate goal of this movie was. It transitions from a bloody, gritty, medieval “crusade” to search out a village that’s not infected with the Black Plague of the 14th century (presumably protected by a Satan worshipping necromancer) into a preachy, violent clash between Pagans and Christians and […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: Black Death, Movie Review, Sean Bean

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I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (2010) THREE TOP HATS

August 28, 2011 by theipc

I remember seeing the original back in the old days when a kid had to walk to the movie store and rent a VHS tape. From what I recall, there wasn’t much value to it – it seemed like a bunch of 70’s drunk people getting together to make an exploitation movie about forcefully taking a woman and then the woman getting revenge. I remember it was banned and what not for the violence and smuttiness to it, and I’ve […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Movie Reviews, Three Top Hats • Tags: I Spit on Your Grave Movie, Movie Review, Remake

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 1 AND 2 THREE COMBINED TOP HATS

August 28, 2011 by theipc

I’ll just refer to these as “1” and “2” to save space. This “found footage” job introduces us to comely couple Micah and Katie, the former beginning the movie firing up his new video camera to capture some of the strange things happening around their new house. We get a lot of the cliché “turn that camera off” from Katie to start with, some moans in the dark and then it fires up doors opening and closing, lots of banging […]

Categories: Double Feature, Found Footage, Three Top Hats • Tags: Movie Review, Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2, Sequels

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: HATCHET AND HATCHET 2

August 27, 2011 by theipc

HATCHET (2006) THREE TOP HATS When a guy like me sees this come out back in 2006, with all of those accolades and proclaiming a “new American icon in horror”, “not a remake of Japanese horror”, “not a reboot”, “not a sequel”, “Old School American Horror” I was totally excited! Then, I watched it and was just kind of – er…um… not so much and forgot about it because it did nothing for me, really. Since then, since I saw […]

Categories: Double Feature, Five Top Hats, Movie Reviews • Tags: Adam Green, Hatchet, Hatchet 2, Movie Review

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Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)

Archives

BLACK DEATH (2010) THREE TOP HATS

PONTYPOOL (2008) FOUR TOP HATS

ISAACS ARCANUM: WILDERNESS SURVIVAL FOR GIRLS (2004) THREE TOP HATS

10 FAVORITE DIRECTOR’S QUOTES RELAY RACE

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

ISAACS ARCANUM: STRANGE GIRLS (2007) FOUR TOP HATS

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE CRIMSON RIVERS TWOSOME

FEBRUARY 29TH

X (2011) THREE TOP HATS

NOWHERESVILLE (2011) ONE TOP HAT

DONKEY PUNCH (2008) THREE TOP HATS

WICKED LITTLE THINGS (2006) TWO TOP HATS

DOGHOUSE (2009) THREE TOP HATS

BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE (2009) TWO TOP HATS

THE RITE (2011) THREE TOP HATS

THE RESIDENT (2011) TWO TOP HATS

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

PSYCHOSIS (2010) TWO TOP HATS

MUTANTS (2009) THREE TOP HATS

BLACK DEATH (2010) THREE TOP HATS

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (2010) THREE TOP HATS

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 1 AND 2 THREE COMBINED TOP HATS

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: HATCHET AND HATCHET 2

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