Archives

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 23: BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997)

May 20, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: BUBBAWHEAT @ FLIGHTS, TIGHTS AND MOVIE NIGHTS My awareness of the shitfest came just after having watched Batman Forever, so it had to have been fate for me to be right in line to watch one of the worst superhero movies ever made and make my contribution to this Shitfest. When Batman & Robin first came out it was pretty anticipated. While Arnold Shwarzenegger wasn’t the most obvious choice for Mr. Freeze, he did at least look the […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: ALICIA SILVERSTONE, Arnold Schwarzenegger, BAT-ASSES, BATMAN AND ROBIN, BIG SCHWARZY, BUBBAWHEAT, CHRIS O'DONNELL, COSTUME NIPPLES, FLIGHTS TIGHTS AND MOVIE NIGHTS, GEORGE CLOONEY, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, Uma Thurman

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 21: THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012)

May 18, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: HEAD IN A VICE The Devil Inside was made on a $1 million budget and went on to score a huge box office return. A few films over the years have opened on similar micro-budgets and gone on to make massive profits, whilst being at the very least good films. For example, The Blair Witch Project, Saw, Insidious – all made for similar amounts and all very highly rated by critics and fans within the genre. The Devil […]

Categories: 2012, 2013, HUH???, Movie Reviews, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Evan Helmuth, Fernanda Andrade, Head in a Vice, No Boobs, SHITFEST 2013!, Simon Quarterman, Stupid, SUCKY, Terrible, The Devil Inside Movie Review, Tyson Carter

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 18: BIRDEMIC (2010)

May 15, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY BIRDEMIC (2010) Directed by James Nguyen Starring Alan Bagh & Whitney Moore A few months ago a friend told me he saw this really awesome movie on netflix-streaming called “Birdemic” and urged me to watch as soon as I got a chance. He seemed genuinely excited, and so I was all ready to get on-board and see what was so good about this movie. So, that night I pulled it up on my […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, Most Unclean, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Alan Bagh, BIRDEMIC MOVIE REVIEW, Bullshit, Catherine Batcha, Janae Caster, MISERY IN FILM, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, THEY'RE MAKING A FUCKING SEQUEL????, Tippi Hedren, Whitney Moore, WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 11: WICKED LAKE (2008)

May 11, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: Yours Truly *There’s a boob below* (Remember – I want to post something every day this month and since I don’t get a ton of traffic on the weekends, this is were I’ll post my entries. That way YOUR work can get all of the attention : ) ) This movie was supposed to be about four hot chicks who go to a lake and get it on with each other and then are harassed by two different […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: Angela Bettis, Boobs, CARLEE BAKER, EVE MAURO, Misery, Most Unclean, PHOENIX RAE, ROBYN SYDNEY, SHITFEST 2013!, SO FUCKING STUPID, Terrible, WICKED LAKE MOVIE REVIEW, Witches!!

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 9: BAD MOON (1996)

May 9, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: TRANQUIL DREAMS Director: Eric Red Cast: Mariel Hemingway, Michael Pare, Mason Gamble While on a journalism assignment in Nepal, Ted (Michael Pare) and his girlfriend Marjorie are attacked spontaneously by a beast (while they are having sex). The beast sweeps down and shreds Marjorie to pieces while Ted rummages for the gun and blows off the beast’s head but not before he gets clawed by this creature. After vanishing for a while, he comes in contact with his […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: "SEXUALITY", BAD MOON (1996), Boring, ERIC RED, JULIA MONTGOMERY BROWN, MARIEL HEMINGWAY, MASON GAMBLE, MICHAEL PARE, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, Werewolves

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 8: DREAM HOUSE (2011)

May 8, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: CLARATSI’S MOVIE REVIEW There’s something wonderful about a new ‘Dream House’; Lick of paint, replacing old with new, polishing everything to perfection. The same can’t be said for this meager Daniel Craig house of mystery vehicle. Aspiring novelist Will (Craig) quits his job in the city to write and spend more time with his family in their new home to later find out that the previous occupants were murdered. When a mysterious man appears lurking outside his window Will investigates […]

Categories: 2013, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Thriller • Tags: Daniel Craig, Dream House movie review, Naomi Watts, No Boobs, Nothing, Rachel Weisz, SHITFEST 2013!, Stupid, Terrible, Vapid

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 4: LIVE ANIMALS (2008)

May 4, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: yours truly Should you decide to challenge yourself and view the heinousness that is LIVE ANIMALS, this is what you will subject yourself to: Bitterly poor acting that may even hurt your feelings it’s so awful Very curious sound dubbing that makes little sense and adds confusion to what’s happening I can’t find a picture of him but one of the main characters has what appears to be a scar on his face that, honestly, looks like a giant turd and seems […]

Categories: Hostages, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Nothing, One Top Hat, SHITFEST 2013!, Very Gory • Tags: JEANETTE COMANS, LITTLE TO NO BOOBS, LIVE ANIMALS 2008 MOVIE REVIEW, MONICA SUMMERFIELD, PAIN AND MISERY, PAULA ALLEN, POOR QUALITY DVD, SARAH EWELL, SHITFEST 2013!, SHITTY, STACY STILL, Terrible

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 2: 88 MINUTES (2007)

May 2, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: MARKED MOVIES Director Jon Avnet released this film with Al Pacino just before “Righteous Kill” in 2007, where he reteamed Al with Robert DeNiro. If you have seen the disaster that that film turned out to be, then you pretty much get the idea where this one is headed. In fact, if I were DeNiro I’d be pretty peeved that Al never mentioned a word about working with Avnet – a director of such stinking magnitude. Dr. Jack […]

Categories: HUH???, I'm Stupid, Movie Reviews, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013! • Tags: 88 MINUTES MOVIE REVIEW, A VERY SORRY AFFAIR, AL PACINO, ALICIA WITT, AMY BRENNEMAN, Deborah Kara Unger, LEELEE SOBIESKI, LITTLE TO NO BOOBS, MARKED MOVIES, Michael Eklund, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, William Forsythe

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 1: BLOODY MARY (2006)

May 1, 2013 by theipc

Entry by: yours truly *Semi NSFW* Honestly, this wasn’t as god-awful as I feared it would be, but it was pretty, pretty stinky. The acting was atrocious by everyone involved, I don’t know what kind of camera they used but I could barely see what was going on half the time, there’s a character in here -that supposedly has some sort of importance in the plot – that makes no fucking sense, the special effects were really kind of terrible […]

Categories: 2013, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Nothing, SHITFEST 2013!, Two Top Hats • Tags: Amber Borycki, Anna Pippus, Awful, Bloody Mary Movie Review, Boobs, Cory Monteith, Danni Ravden, Eero Johnson, Kim Tyler, Lindsay Marett, Ricky 'Railroad' Reynolds, SHITFEST 2013!, Terrible, Theres a Character in this named Railroad, Witches!!

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: STASH (2007) ONE TOP HAT

February 13, 2013 by theipc

I’ve been watching a lot of shit that Netflix has been shitting in my face recommending for me and normally I’ve been able to come out here and passive aggressively explain how I didn’t care for something – think ANNA’S EVE or CAMP SLAUGHTER – but this time I can’t. This movie was just fucking terrible and that’s all there is to it. Some dudes try to steal some guy’s weed, he catches them and instead of blowing their heads […]

Categories: 2013, Hostages, HUH???, I'm Stupid, Nothing, One Top Hat, Three Minute Review • Tags: An Affront to the Industry, Debbie Rochon, Hostages, Karen Boles, Murder!!, Nathan Day, One Top, Pointless Nudity, Stacey T. Gillespie, Stash 2007 Movie Review, Terrible, The Three Minute Review, Weed

THE Isaacs Pod Cast # 1: THE LEGEND OF BLOODY JACK

February 10, 2013 by theipc

Well – here it is – the first ever audio file from us. Late last year I threatened warned worried advised The Good and Most Beloved Reader that I had purchased a fancy, old timey looking microphone for an upcoming project and that I intended to use it for some dangerous life threatening poisonous good clean fun with Chris Scrotey and further that I would try and figure out how to post it out here. A few weeks ago, Scrotey […]

Categories: 2013, I'm Stupid, IPC Podcast, Isaacs Podcasts, Most Unclean • Tags: Alicia Klein, Audio Review, Boobs, Craig Bonacorsi, Erica Curtis, Fucking Awful, Jessica Szabo, Jonathan Kowalsky, Lauren Cashman, My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, SCROTEY, Terrible, THE IPC Podcast, The Legend of Bloody Jack, Tricia Allen, We Suck

CAMP SLAUGHTER (2005) ONE TOP HAT

January 8, 2013 by theipc

Let’s go out on a limb and say that the concept behind this is, to me, a good idea: there’s a summer camp out there where everyone gets brutally slaughtered one night and then repeats itself over and over like GROUNDHOG DAY. Then I am going to gather you all back in and protect My Loved Ones with all of my power from this bastard of a movie because this thing was fucking terrible. This set the tone in the very first […]

Categories: I'm Stupid, Nothing, One Top Hat, Slasher • Tags: Anika C. McFall, Bethany Taylor, Camp Slaughter Movie Review, Jessica Sonneborn, Joanna Suhl, Matt Dallas, Misery, No Boobs, Slasher, Terrible

ISAACS EXCREMENT: MY TEN WORST MOVIES OF 2012

January 1, 2013 by theipc

For last year’s entries, please check them out HERE. Well – it’s that time of year again and everyone’s making Best Of and Worst Of lists and I want to chime in again, so here’s the list of my least favorite things I saw all year. My list(s) don’t necessarily mean they were released in 2012 – but that I saw them in 2012. I mean, I wasn’t doing this blogging thing back in 2004 so – why not warn […]

Categories: 2012, 70s, 90s, Found Footage, Hostages, I'm Stupid, Most Unclean, Nothing, One Top Hat, Very Gory • Tags: Bullshit, My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, PAIN AND MISERY, Terrible

THE STAIN REMAINS PT. 16 – DEAR GOD NO!

October 26, 2012 by theipc

Oh man…. well…. it’s been a little under six months since I have borne witness to something awful like this. And by “awful” I mean I can’t unsee what I saw in the last third of this movie. WRONG WRONG NO NO NO WRONG NO NO NO. I was putting up with the terrible, terrible, terrible “acting” and almost enjoying the amusing murdering of everyone this gang of bikers comes across, but then this went to places I can’t type on here […]

Categories: Grindhouse, Most Unclean • Tags: My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, Terrible

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 10: MAMA DRACULA (1980) ONE PAIR OF KISS BOOTS

September 26, 2012 by theipc

The intro to this is, more than anything, a harbinger nod foreshadowing hint clue of something I think is going to be super awesome love it very amazing coming in the future here at THE IPC, but I am reliant on someone else’s use of their hard earned free time so I wait patiently. I can’t go into too may details about this so let’s just put on our Starchild makeup and our leather capes and our KISS boots and […]

Categories: 70s, Drive - In, I'm Stupid, Two Top Hats • Tags: Alexander Wajnberg, Drive In, Jess Hahn, Jimmy Shuman, Louise Fletcher, Mama Dracula Movie Review, Marc-Henri Wajnberg, Maria Schneider, Marie-Françoise Manuel, Michel Israel, Nancy Hawaii, Terrible, The 80s, The Worst

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CLOSETS (2010) ONE MIDDLE FINGER

August 30, 2012 by theipc

I first heard about this “movie” over at my friend Cinema Schminema’s “FIRST FIVE” feature… It’s so funny because she couldn’t finish it and a couple of months later I was in the grocery store, checking out and saw they had some sort of new DVD bin and the first one I saw was that same 6 pack “DEADLY GAMES” with CLOSETS on it and, of course, I added it to my purchase. I don’t know if using the word […]

Categories: I'm Stupid, Nothing, One Top Hat • Tags: Closets Movie Review, Corbin Bernsen, Davina Joy, Ghost Demon Thing, Stupid Plot, Terrible, Terrible Acting, Terrible CGI

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (5): RAVE TO THE GRAVE (2005) ONE SHITTY TOP HAT

July 10, 2012 by theipc

Just when you thought it couldn’t ever get any worse for the series that started off with one of my favorite movies ever, here comes the poor, sad, terrible, mother fucker that is this horrible, horrible movie. I thought 4 was terrible and it had to get better because we all learn from our mistakes, right? Well, please take my word for it that this is a real piece of shit and this merits nothing and you will never benefit from seeing […]

Categories: I'm Stupid, One Top Hat, Population Sample, Zombies • Tags: Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, An Affront to the Industry, Cory Hardrict, Fucking Awful, Jenny Mollen, John Keefe, Pretty Stupid, Return of the Living Dead (5): Rave to the Grave Movie Review, Terrible

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (4) NECROPOLIS (2005) ONE TOP HAT

June 19, 2012 by theipc

In my quest to complete the entire Return of the Living Dead movies, I came face to face with an Evil Serpent coiled up in the weeds, hissing at me: this movie. How do I put this? Hmmm…. Hmmmmm….. this movie is a real piece of shit. All the way around. I have to admit that I knew that going in to doing this collection but I had hoped that maybe this was better than I remembered (whiskey). The answer […]

Categories: Population Sample, One Top Hat, Zombies, I'm Stupid • Tags: Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, Cory Hardrict, Jana Kramer, Misery, Peter Coyote, Return of the Living Dead 4 Movie Review, Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis Movie Review, Terrible, This Sucked, Trioxin

THE STAIN REMAINS pt. 15 – AMERICAN MANIACS

April 24, 2012 by theipc

Thankfully it’s been awhile since I’ve had the displeasure of seeing one of these awful pieces of shit, but American Maniacs really fits the bill. This movie is disgusting and the last fifteen or so minutes of this are completely and totally wrong and I wish I had someone to warn me about this before I stained my brain. I don’t consider myself some sort of prude but I like to have some fun and not take myself too seriously […]

Categories: Hostages • Tags: My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, Terrible

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THE STAINS REMAIN

February 10, 2012 by theipc

I added a couple of stinkers (GUTTERBALLS & BUTTCRACK) to the Most Unclean page today. Wes – if you look at it, I think you’ll appreciate one of them.

Categories: Uncategorized • Tags: An Affront to the Industry, Awful, Bowling Ball Killer, Buttcrack Movie, Gutterballs Movie, My Eyes My Fucking Eyes!, Terrible

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FIVE ACROSS THE EYES (2006) ONE TOP HAT

November 4, 2011 by theipc

From the start, this movie was pretty irritating, then it got VERY irritating, then it kind of got decent and I was thinking that this could be a good movie if it was remade and shot differently, but then the last thirty minutes derailed into very needless, stupid violence that really made no sense whatsoever to anything and it was all I could do to finish it. Let’s see, the shaky cam was stupid, the musical “score” was sometimes 80′s […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: Five Across The Eyes Movie, Terrible

THE LAST EXORCISM (2010) ONE TOP HAT

August 27, 2011 by theipc

When UHM broke news about this movie a year or so ago, being produced by Eli Roth (who makes good horror but he’s the worst actor in civilization), I was excited. When it was about time to be released, they slapped it with the dreaded PG 13 rating, so it’s stock, in my mind, instantly fell, so I scrapped trying to see it in the theater, despite the wicked looking movie poster. BUT – today I went into it with […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: Eli Roth, Movie Review, Terrible, The Last Exorcism

NEIGHBOR (2010) ONE TOP HAT

August 21, 2011 by theipc

This movie was terrible in ALL aspects but one – the cinematography was pretty good. I saw this come up on upcominghorrormovies.com a few weeks ago and the premise (and the trailer) looked pretty cool, so I got excited about a new slasher franchise. But – sadly – this thing was a complete FAIL. The actors were all terrible, the dialogue was awful, the plot was stupid and the “non-linear” aspect of the story was useless and off putting. The DVD released […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: An Affront to the Industry, Horror Movie, Lack of Boobs, Movie Review, Neighbor Movie, Terrible, This Movie Sucked

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SPLICE (2010) ONE TOP HAT

August 21, 2011 by theipc

SPOILERS AHEAD: I really, really, really, really, really wanted to love this movie. I talked about it for weeks and watched the trailer over and over despite Regan’s repulsion. I was in love with the creature (and Sarah Polley) and even took a half day off of work to see it the day it came out. My wife and friends kid me all of the time because i like every movie too much, but this one was a REAL stinker. […]

Categories: Movie Reviews, One Top Hat • Tags: Adrian Brody, Horror Movie, Human Hybrid, Movie Reviews, Sarah Polley, Splice Movie, Terrible, UGH

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Isaacs Picture Conclusions

An Honest Review from an Honest Guy (who doesn't take things too seriously)

Archives

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 23: BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 21: THE DEVIL INSIDE (2012)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 18: BIRDEMIC (2010)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 11: WICKED LAKE (2008)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 9: BAD MOON (1996)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 8: DREAM HOUSE (2011)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 4: LIVE ANIMALS (2008)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 2: 88 MINUTES (2007)

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 1: BLOODY MARY (2006)

THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: STASH (2007) ONE TOP HAT

THE Isaacs Pod Cast # 1: THE LEGEND OF BLOODY JACK

CAMP SLAUGHTER (2005) ONE TOP HAT

ISAACS EXCREMENT: MY TEN WORST MOVIES OF 2012

THE STAIN REMAINS PT. 16 – DEAR GOD NO!

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE – IN # 10: MAMA DRACULA (1980) ONE PAIR OF KISS BOOTS

CLOSETS (2010) ONE MIDDLE FINGER

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (5): RAVE TO THE GRAVE (2005) ONE SHITTY TOP HAT

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (4) NECROPOLIS (2005) ONE TOP HAT

THE STAIN REMAINS pt. 15 – AMERICAN MANIACS

THE STAINS REMAIN

FIVE ACROSS THE EYES (2006) ONE TOP HAT

THE LAST EXORCISM (2010) ONE TOP HAT

NEIGHBOR (2010) ONE TOP HAT

SPLICE (2010) ONE TOP HAT

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