Isaacs Picture Conclusions


Well – this is really one of those movies that you’re either going to LOVE or HATE. This is a story (and a story within a story) about a TIRE (named Robert) who comes to life and realizesthat it / he has telekinetic powers which he uses to destroy small animals and blow the heads of human beings to pieces in beautiful, GORY detail. Also within, is a side story about a couple of the characters that know they are actors in a movie: one of them a deputy and the other the accountant for the movie production. As well, we have the audience of the feature watching everything unfold out on a hill and commenting on the production throughout. I was completely surprised by how much I liked this movie, especially the end, and I had no idea how bloody this thing was going to be – but I loved it. This whole movie is nothing but hilarious satire, making fun of itself and the big Hollywood movie productions (which the end vaguely hints at – but you’ll get it). Also – it’s nothing but a big Fuck You to the billion dollar productions dicks like Michael Bay put out, or the Saw franchise. Bravo RUBBER!

This is the story, filled with spoilers. The movie starts off with a prologue that a lot of people will dislike and likely cause them to turn this off. The sheriff character emerges from a trunk of a car in the middle of the desert and explains that life is full of “no reason” and the movie you’re about to watch celebrates the “no reason of life”. When you think the credits are going to roll, the camera pans and this guy wasn’t really addressing you, but about twenty average joes who are there to watch the movie unfold in the valley below them. The accountant character gives the crowd binoculars and then the credits roll. As the meat of the movie fires up, the audience is looking all around trying to find the action with comments of “this movie sucks” or “this is stupid” until we eventually wind up in a junk yard where a Tire comes to life. Just like in a big time movie, the protagonist staggers up, stumbles around in the dirt until he finally gets his “legs” and starts rolling around the sands. First he encounters a water bottle which he rolls over and then crushes a scorpion, establishing his destructive desires. Soon he comes across a beer bottle that he can’t break with his weight and, subsequently, his telekinetic powers are discovered; he starts to shudder and the music THWUB WUB WUBS and the beer bottle explodes. Now that that good fun is established,the next vistims are: a tin can, a crow and a rabbit. At this, the audience up on the hill is getting into the movie thinking it might actually be cool.

Eventually Robert finds himself on a highway facing a stalled VW Rabbit with a good looking Mexican girl inside. As he is shuddering and THWUB WUB WUBBING he is knocked out of the middle of the road by a passing pickup truck and the VW speeds away. I’ll very happily say that the driver of the pickup becomes the first human victim with the exploded head and, eventually, Robert tracks down the woman at a local Motel. Here, I believe, the tire falls in love with the mystery woman and, as things unfold, more and  more people start to die. Later, as night falls one evening and Robert is watching TV, the accountant character (also at the Motel) gets a call from his evil overlord he calls “Master” (I assume the head of the production company of the movie) with some cryptic instructions.  The next morning the accountant shows up on the hill with a bag of turkey which the starving audience ravages. Soon enough, the cops arrive to investigate a headless cleaning lady and Robert stalks his mystery lady to the pool.  In the midst of the deputy’s interrogation of the Motel manager, his wristwatch goes off and he calls a halt to the whole movie production. Why? Because it’s been six hours and the audience on the hill is dead from eating poisoned turkey – time for everyone in the production to go home.

But the movie doesn’t stop yet – apparently a man in a wheelchair at the top of the mountain (Wings Hauser – you’ll know him if you see him) didn’t eat the turkey after all so the show must go on, despite a script or plot – this development is very funny. The next thirty minutes or so are very entertaining to me (especially the melancholy tire-burning Robert witnesses) until the climax when, the frustrated deputy character has had enough,  shoots the tire with a shotgun and throws it at the disabled man’s wheelchair. That’s a wrap! Wait – no! Robert is reincarnated as a tricycle and is out for revenge – a huge poke at needless and wasteful sequels.

So there you have it – it looks like they had a lot of fun making it – and I had a lot of fun watching it! But – maybe this is not for you.


  1. Pingback: Holiday Theme 9 – March 26th | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

  2. I went searching for this because the picture was at the top of your page. I’ve been wanting to see this FOREVER. Love the concept! Skipped the spoiler bit of your review so may have to come back after I watch it. Which reminds me – I have to read your Stoker review now I’ve seen it…


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