Isaacs Picture Conclusions


I have to start off by saying that I have never seen the original, or the sequels, so I can’t compare anything to them. I wanted to check this one out because it was supposed to be “super violent and sexy”. I also noticed that Shannon Elizabeth (from American Pie) and this actress named Diora Baird (from Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning & 30 Days of Night: Dark Days), both hot acts. So I rented it at the local Blockbuster and sat down to enjoy it and a few beers on a nice rainy Friday night.

The thing starts off with a cool looking sepia flashback – 85 years ago, in a mansion in New Orleans we see a séance ending badly as the owner of the mansion takes her own life by tying a rope around her neck and a balcony post – then plummeting to her death, with her head popping off and into the camera – GREAT! Cut to the opening credits and then the three scantily dressed leads talking about their wahinas and prepping for a Halloween rager at the haunted mansion mentioned earlier. Introduce tired looking, burned out Edward Furlong (the kid from Terminator 2 so any years ago), a dope dealer begging the local drug lord for some blow to take to the party and make some money (this is actually a pretty funny scene). Intro  the two other male leads who are smoking grass on a balcony on Bourbon Street and taking paint ball pot shots at kids who are too old to be getting candy for trick or treats. They all converge on the house and we get a cool “fast-motion-slow-motion-fast-motion-slow-motion” tour through the party. I like that type of shot. Zoop zoop zoop zoop zoop zoop zoop zoop. There is some revelry, the cops show up and a few of them are stranded in the house with the mysterious patroness, Shannon Elizabeth. Turns out Furlong had dropped the dope down a vent, into the basement when the fuzz showed up. They head downstairs, Elizabeth gets bitten by a skeleton (yes) wherein she turns into a demon and the party really gets going. I won’t go into much more, because it’s really not that interesting, but you can imagine that the people stuck inside get either smote to death or transformed into demons ala “fast head shaking style”, which has annoyed me sense Jacob’s Ladder.

Overall this is entertaining enough to pass a couple of hours, has some comedy to it, there’s a lot of skin but now real nudity, there’s a lot of blood but not much gore and the demon make up effects are done well. Shannon Elizabeth is good to look at but she is a terrible actress. Furlong, who I have never cared for, actually “acts” in the movie – and does a pretty good job of it. Baird is super hot and has the movie’s most memorable scene. All in all, it wasn’t too bad, but could’ve been better.

Here is a funny quote that may offend some people, so don’t read it if you are sensitive. This is also from memory, so it’s probably not verbatim:

Jason: does Lily practice magic??!

Maddie: No

Jason: You know, like sleight of hand???

Maddie: No, what’s wrong?

Jason:  UH then she might be sick or something!!

Maddie: WHY?? What’s wrong??

Jason: I think something’s wrong with her!!

Maddie: WHY?? WHAT??

Jason: UH (fumbles worriedly)

Maddie: WHAT’S GOING ON???

Jason: She put a lipstick IN HER BOOB and it came out her (p-word)!!!

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