Isaacs Picture Conclusions


I was kind of pumped to see this movie in the theater when it came out, but things didn’t work out for me so I caught it this weekend on Blu Ray. I liked the Predator movies, even the Alien Vs Predators movies, and this was produced by Robert Rodriguez, so I had high hopes. It started off real strong and then just kind of lost steam, slowly, slowly, slowly until the unexciting end. It’s rare for me to “be ready” for a movie to be over but this one just kept going and going. So, overall – MEH – it was good for a while and then I was more interested in watching the iPad for my fantasy football scores.

We start off with Adrian Brody waking up in an exhilarating free fall with no chute! Eventually the shoot pops open of its own accord and we go crashing into the trees – where is he, no one knows. After the credits, we meet other people who have met the same fate: they were on Earth doing something sinister when there was a bright light and then they woke up plummeting through the atmosphere. We get Brody, a special “black-ops” mercenary who growls all of his lines, a Russian mercenary with a heart of gold, a tough as nails chick who might know something about why they’re there, a Japanese gangster, Danny Trejo (a Rodriguez staple) as the dirt hard Mexican killer, the FBI’s most wanted convict, some sort of Haitian hit man and Topher Grace as a “doctor” (with a secret). You see, they are all “Predators” too, and hunting humans is the best thing to hunt, according to Brody, who claims he is quoting Hemingway. Anyway, they all band together to figure out what’s going on and to obviously survive and get home. After lots of walking and growl-talking they discover they are on an alien planet and, after being set on by Predator-dogs, that they are, indeed, the object of the hunt. For the next hour or so they get offed one by one and we come to the end. Oh yeah – they also meet a survivor, the “one that got away”, Laurence Fishburne as the crazy dude.

There’s not much plot to this thing, so you would think there would be lots of action, or gore, or something, but there’s really not.  We don’t really see much of the Predators (they’re always in their cloaked mode), and most of the movie seems to have been shot in very dark sets, so you really can’t see what’s going on most of the time. When I read a long time ago that there were going to be “humans on the Predator game reserve” I figured there would be a lot of the aliens, but there’s only four. Apparently they travel in packs of three – they go to Earth and bring humans back, so they can hunt them, and train, and evolve. I guess the “newly evolved” Predators don’t like their predecessors, so they hunt them down and kill them too. In here, we have three of the new-masked bad guys, and one of the old ones from the first movies. As for the human cast, I couldn’t really get into any of them either. Brody, as the lead, just growls and shoots. The female was too nice and compassionate to really fit in with the mold of killers the others are. The FBI-about-to-die guy is totally irritating but also has the funniest line.

In the end, I guess you know what you’re getting in to with a movie called Predators, but I guess I Just wanted more. I would say the first two, with Arnold and then Danny Glover, are both better than this one, but this one is better than the two “AvPs”.

One last note, I remember the commercials showing the following image, which also lead me to believe we were in for some serious action – sadly, this never happened. In the movie version of this image, there is just the one triangle, the one on his forehead. K. Luvyameanit.

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