Isaacs Picture Conclusions

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET (2010) THREE TOP HATS

With nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon, I gave this movie (with steely-eyebrows Hayden Christensen, man-I-loathe John  Leguizamo and actress-I-have-never-cared-for Thandie Newton) a shot, based on the trailer. The trailer offered up some afraid of the dark, survival creeps, with what appeared to be nice photography and, after all, it was in HD, unlike everything I could find for free out on Netflix.  For about 30 minutes I thought this was pretty entertaining and encouraging, despite the three actors I don’t care for… the filming was tight, the story was going well, it was a little creepy and then it spiraled into a Christian “Revelation-purge” story complete with street signs showing the merger of “7th street” and “Seal”. Get it? The Seven Seals?  I would have to study up on my Bible-ography, but there’s all sorts of Biblical representation in this, complete with our leads: James (…), Luke (…), Paul (…) and Rosemary (…), mostly set in a bar called Sonny’s (…), with the tag line “Stay in the Light” (…). I don’t have anything against the iconography, but this isn’t what I was lead to believe this movie would be about – “salvation”, but – oh well. It was decent enough, with a couple of jump-scares, a couple of creepy moments, but the misleading advertising kind of put me off.

Here’s the “easy” plot: everything on Earth that’s connected with hard-wired electricity goes out one night, and the darkness takes over. People of flesh disappear, leaving their earthly clothing, hats, eyeglasses, false teeth, wallets, open heart surgery clamps and anything else you can name behind (the Rapture?) I don’t remember any big trumpeting, but I wasn’t thinking about it during the opening.  Anyway, a few people who were using non wired items (candles, zippo, firetruck toy, and a reading-head-light) survive. Three days later (…) they all converge in a bar called Sonny’s that is still alit by generator in the basement. For the next hour they all argue about faith and how to get out of this and head to Chicago, the only reason I can think of may be because Chicago is considered an “Alpha City”. Eventually, as they make the decisions which, “Jacob’s Ladder”-style interpret their ends / beginnings, we finalize in a church where one little girl has survived the darkness with a light that never goes out, as long as there’s the sun (Son).

Overall – not bad, but not what I was looking for. Now, I am going to go watch the Packers / Falcons playoff game which I hope will be more entertaining. I should finish with, for all of my lifelong knocking of Chirstensen (…) and John (…) Leguizamo, that they didn’t irritate me for 1:41 minutes. If my ellipses (…) are confusing, just think about it for two seconds.

One comment

  1. Pingback: I’M NOT JESUS MOMMY (2010) THREE TOP HATS | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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