Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE DOUBLE FEATURE: CABIN FEVER 1 & 2

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CABIN FEVER (2002) THREE TOP HATS

I remember reading about this when it came out (before i went and saw it in the theater), about how Eli Roth (the director) was sick of shitty PG-13 horror like “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and such, so he was going to get back to making bad ass horror filled with the red stuff and naked bodies. His first effort was Cabin Fever here, which he followed up with the gruesome but fun Hostel movies.  While now he doesn’t seem to be doing much except pretending to act in his friend’s movies, I would pay him good money to make his fake Grindhouse trailer THANKSGIVING into a feature film. Anyway, Cabin Fever was pretty good. It was very gory and did show a bunch of skin, but I was very put off by the actors’ dialogue / delivery (especially Roth’s cameo), i don’t know if they got to ad-lib their lines or the script was just bad, but that was the major downer to this movie. I would give it a strong three Top Hats.

Five young collegians head to the woods for some rest and diddling after their finals. They run afoul of some local rednecks at the beer store and head into the woods. At the cabin, one couple quickly disrobes and gets busy, the other couple head to the dock for some swimmin’, and the loner heads into the trees with his high powered BB gun to shoot squirrels. There, he fires a shot into a gully and accidentally hits some dude. This man is infected with something making his flesh melt off, so he shoots him again and goes back to the cabin. Later that night, infected-man shows up at their door, melting and gross asking for help. They deny him like bad Samaritans, he tries to steal their Bronco and they accidentally set him on fire, from where he runs off screaming into the trees.

To keep this a little short, I’ll just say that the burning, infected man ends up falling into a local water supply, infecting everyone’s drinking and bathing water. Obviously, our five folks subsequently get the virus and die in gruesome, bloody ways. Eventually, the “lead” hobbles off to a party where he is picked up by a cop. He is taken to a hospital where the sheriff and doctor decide to just get rid of him. The bumbling comic relief cop we previously encountered doesn’t want to deal with him either so he dumps him off on the side of the road to die once and for all. As we pan out for the final shot, we see our lead lying face down in another reservoir, which is the source for the local water bottling company’s product.

CABIN FEVER 2: SPRING FEVER (2009) TWO TOP HATS

Unfortunately, this sequel isn’t very good at all. It’s too bad because i really like the director, Ti West (who has said publicly that this is not the movie he made {meaning the studio edited, cut it and did not follow his vision at all} and he has distanced himself from this production).  That’s probably best because this is a really stinker. I will say this is very much more stomach churning and the camera work is superb, but the acting, the dialog, the script, the delivery, the situations, even the way the actors do their thing just aren’t very good. I mean not really at all. This gets a low two Top Hats.

We start off with the half dead lead from the first crawling out of the reservoir and hobbling through the woods, leaving chunks of flesh on twigs and such – where he stumbles into the road and is subsequently exploded by a school bus. This is actually pretty cool, his head and extremities fly fifty feet into the air and we’re set up for something good. Then the odd cartoon credits roll which show us how the infected water has been taken from the lake, processed, bottled, delivered and placed everywhere in the local high school. Immediately we are shown dozens of teens drinking bottle after bottle of water, getting fellatio, swapping spit (literally) and agonizing about the prom that night. We get a cool, kind of “80’s-ish” montage ala Night of the Creeps of everyone getting dressed up, powdering their bleeding lesions, gluing on fingernails, making punch with the bottled water, etc. and then it’s on to the big dance!

It’s not too long before EVERYONE is spitting up gallons of blood, flesh is gurgling off of them in buckets, sores are exploding all over the room, people are smashing each other to pieces and something like the army shows up to exterminate everyone. We also get a disgusting piss-in-the-punch then-drink-it, an oozing, bloody schlong, a head smashed to pieces, an aborted baby, pustule covered boobs, vomit and terrible, unfunny one liners and a stupid ending. All in all this thing wasn’t too good. I don’t know what Ti West wanted to do with all of this footage he made, but the 80s one liners really ruined it – plus the forgettable situations and actions the players are put in, when the screen is not full of exploding polyps, erupting vomit or someone cutting his own forearm off, then cauterizing it.

10 comments

  1. Pingback: THE INNKEEPERS (2011) FOUR TOP HATS | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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  3. Pingback: THE TRIPLE PLAY: THE GINGER SNAPS TRILOGY | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

  4. I’m back to stalking, err… Reading my favorite blog! 🙂 Cabin Fever – I saw the first one and don’t remember a damn thing. Is that the one with the leg shaving scene? Gross. Oh my god the second one sounds awful! Mega gross!!

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  5. I watched the first one when I was younger and thought that it was alright, never followed up with the sequel. Looks like it isn’t necessary to look into though!

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