Isaacs Picture Conclusions




This is kind of funny, for those of you that look at my blog. Several years ago, my friend and I, at work, used to use our quaint internal instant messaging platform that only had a few icons to choose from, one of them being a top hat. I went to a movie one New Years Day (I don’t remember what it was, I am pretty sure it was the most recent Start Trek by JJ Abrams) and when we came back to work the next day he asked me how my weekend was and all that. I told him about the movie and advised that it was so good he should get dressed up real nice and even wear a top hat when he goes to see it, that in fact it was “four top hat” worthy, which started this whole thing, ha ha. Well here we are with 2012 looming and I hope everyone has a prosperous new year that is Mayan Calendar Doomsday free!

I missed this one when I was a kid – this jump on the bandwagon of new slasher films, after F13 and Halloween made them super popular, but I watched it today, in honor of the holiday and I really didn’t miss too much, honestly. The acting in this is LOL bad – I mean for real, I have absolutely no idea why they cast the lead, someone named Roz Kelly, because she sure didn’t do it well as the host of a televised call-in program supporting “New Wave Rock and Roll”. The guy that played her kid, Grant Kramer was really awful, especially when he was crying and wrapping his mom’s pantyhose around his head. The slasher in this is played by Kip Niven, and I have to say he did do a pretty decent job chameleoning around Southern California, picking up chicks and offing them in a variety of ways, but the sound was terrible (especially since there is “new wave rock and roll” playing almost constantly), the outfits were stupid, the hair feathered and script pretty lame. It was also actually a little bit too long for this type of thing and I started kind of getting antsy for it to be over, but, oh well – Happy New Year’s Evil! I guess I should give some credit to the “theme song”: New Year’s Evil performed by a band called Shadow – it’s actually kind of catchy, but I hope it doesn’t stay stuck in my head for much longer.

So Roz is the host of the countdown show called, yes, New Year’s Evil, and she goes by “Blaze”. She has encouraged callers to call in and vote for their favorite “new wave” rock song of the year, but she gets an unexpected surprise when some man calls in and, using a pitiful voice manipulator, announces that  “His name is EEEEEVVVIILLLL” and he is going to murder someone at the stroke of midnight for each time zone across the U.S. At first they think he is some “new wave rock and roll” quack, until he calls back with a video taped recording of him stabbing the nurse he quickly seduced at the local sanitarium. Now they’re taking him seriously and an hour later he’s killed another couple of dames, one by stuffing her head in a giant bag of marijuana and suffocating her, the other by hiding in a trash dumpster, tricking her into opening the door and I think she got the knife.

As he heads towards the Mountain Time Zone New Years, he runs afoul of a motorcycle gang and they chase him around the city – as his time is running out. Luckily he hides in a Drive-In where the Herschell Gordon Lewis movie Blood Feast is playing. Lucky for him, next to his car, a couple of teens are making out and smoking dope, so he commandeers the car and steals off with the topless chick who pleads for him to let her go – “and they could even get it on” if he wants. Well I guess he doesn’t want to get down and, due to some timely interference by a couple of screaming drunk dudes, she gets away.

Just like this movie which ran too long, it appears this write-up is heading down the same path, so let’s wrap this up. The killer is who you probably think it is, there’s a big show down on a rooftop and they set it up for a sequel which doesn’t appear to have happened. I mean, this movie isn’t too bad, but the sound sucks and it would probably be better watching on New Year’s Eve on the couch with a case of beer in the fridge than in the bed with the cat on a Friday morning.

Happy New Year!

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