Isaacs Picture Conclusions

FINAL DESTINATION 5 (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

Bravo FD5! It seems weird to me to be singing the praises of a 4th sequel in a horror franchise, but this was really, really good. I mean, I just finished this an hour or so ago and I want to watch it again (I didn’t delete it from my iTunes rental queue in the hopes of doing just that). Not only is this by far the best of this series, it’s actually kind of a good movie, of course you have to take into account that this is VERY gory (thematically tense Frozen this is not) and a movie about people cheating Death. I guess with a Warner Brothers budget of 40 mil, you get better effects, better actors, a new director (Steven Quale) with good ideas and, in the end, you get a better film. For real, there are several, very good,  WTF!-I-didn’t-see-that-coming moments, which were great (balance beam / uneven bars HELLO?!?!?!) – and a wicked awesome two-part ending that just made the whole movie – I don’t know – enjoyable, which is the purpose of this blog. I guess I don’t want to moon on and on about how much I liked this, but, this was thoroughly entertaining and I do recommend this – as long as you are prepared for lots of the red stuff, intestines, eye laser mishaps, acupuncture accidents, and the – no I will not spoil this ending – awesome conclusion. I mean – good job and ENCORE. After sitting through the first four, this is very refreshing and, well again, I don’t know, after watching the last two, this was the real way to continue with the franchise’ future. Good work Quale! The rumor is that if this “made some money” they would make “two sequels shot back to back” – if they can replicate this, then I hope they do.

I will not say anything about the ending(s), but here we go again with the Big Premonition – this time it’s a group of workers going to a team building event, having to cross a wide, sprawling suspension bridge that, yes, begins to break apart, which, to me, this is the best  disaster of the franchise. Not only is it a little harrowing, but the actors did very well, the effects were very good, the “deaths” weren’t totally hokey and superficially “designed” and, to a guy like me, the “extras” who are not credited but do their own share of “gettin’ killed” – I don’t know – the producers worked a lot of these folks in very well. To that – one or two of our leads is running across the crumbling bridge and the suspension cables are snapping and the bridge is collapsing and people go flying and screaming – they did this well in this one. In the real world, my friend is trying to get a Western made, and I volunteered to be “the guy shot in the bar” (no lines, no nothing, free body) – they did really good with the extras here. Anyway, back to the story: the lead (who I though was very good) Nicolas D’Agosto has the B.P. and saves a handful of people from the Big Event. After they are safe and secure and are fidgeting about the whole thing, we get an appearance by Tony Todd as Bludworth, who makes some remarks that may or may not indicate what his character is all about (finally).

So, here we go. The last two movies, while decent, force fed us what was going to happen to our survivors. Either in premonitions or digital pictures, we had foreshadowing into what was going to happen next, which was OK, kinda lame, but this time they REALLY do the do-you-think-that’s-what’s-going-to-happen-viewer-nope-sucker-BLAM thing and it is good stuff. I mentioned the gymnastics balance beam thing, but WHAT!!! Awesome! (That fucking screw!!) The massage-and-acupuncture thing? Thumbs Up! The eye surgery build up? Good work! The events in the factory? Well done!! The ending(s)? Boy I haven’t felt so excited in a long time! I can’t even get into the ending(s) without spoiling it… which I want to do very badly, but will not. I loved this movie and will (yep) watch it again if time allows and, if it wasn’t for the likes of Frozen and Kick-Ass! this could probably wander around a five TH. But we do have to set a bar – and, while this was very good, I don’t think this gets up there that far – but – good work!!

P.S. It’s never bad to see David Koechner being burned by tar or taking a giant wrench to the head.

One comment

  1. Pingback: THE IPC DOUBLE TAKE # 1: CHRONICLE (2012) | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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