Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE BIRDS

While this isn’t a motion picture review, I thought I would write a few words about the horror that is: trying to get into the building at work during Canadian Goose mating season, which must have been the inspiration for Hitchcock’s “The Birds” (1963).

Every year these bastard geese start getting it on all over the place, shitting everywhere and then spend weeks trying to find a place to nest.  They come in swarms of about thirty or forty and they all fight and squawk endlessly until two of them honk the loudest and the others fly off.

Of course – all of this activity occurs around any of the multiple doors into our building so, at any point in the day, we have to deal with these things hissing and honking and biting and shitting and flapping and “presenting” and chasing us around the parking lot.  At some point, as you’re trying not to make eye contact with one of these fuckers, you think to yourself, is everyone in the building going to think I’m cool if they see me punch a bird?

Anyway – that’s it – I was just dealing with this situation this morning (again) (and again and again and again) and thought I would share this for my friend R.W.

5 comments

  1. Mary

    How is it these geese beat me to the door each morning at the same time?!! I can move way faster than these feathered hounds of hell, yet I have to fight my way through them each day. The hissing and honking – someone stop the madness!

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  2. Jeffrey T.

    Alka-Seltzer? I want to either bring my 12 gauge (I don’t really have one) and start playing a live version of the ol’ orange gun Nintendo game Duck Hunt. I also thought of stepping on the chicks as they hatch as a lesson to the big ones. I figure I will step in their poop if they grow up, so might as well be proactive about it.

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  3. ericisaacs

    Yep… I had come out of the stairwell and witnessed a lady trying to sneak in, creeping to the door with her back to the wall. When she made it in she left the door a little open so I stayed to see if it would come in. It saw me through two sets of glass doors and started hitting the first one with its beak. Thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk….

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