Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE GREY (2011) FOUR TOP HATS

I suppose I should preface this with some sort of words like “I know not everyone is going to like this movie as much as I did” but I’ve been a big fan of plane-crash-in-alaska-survival-movies ever since I saw The Edge (20 or so times) so long ago. I should also support this with something like “ever since Neeson finally found his nuts and started making bad ass movies like Taken I have become a big fan” so that really helped here. Along those lines, it didn’t hurt anything that he was on SNL a few weeks ago with Andy Samberg in a “Get in the Cage” skit and they said they were “going to kidnap god and they weren’t letting him go until they got their damned money!!”. A couple of other things bolstering The Grey: I’m a big fan of Dermot Mulroney when he does things like The Trigger Effect and Undertow (but not New Girl) and I like the actor Joe Anderson who was super studly in The Crazies remake. Lastly – if you’re old like me, you probably liked Jason Patric when he came around in The Lost Boys and then he was in one of my favorite movies ever After Dark, My Sweet and then he disappeared forever until he resurfaced in Joe Carnahan’s wicked awesome Narc. That has nothing to do with anything other than Carnahan directed The Grey as well as Narc and Smoking Aces and even the semi decent A-Team thing and I think he really made some advancement in his movie making here. So with all of that bullshit typed, I really liked They Grey but I would give the edge to The Edge probably because it was written by David Mamet and was made back when Alec Baldwin was still a stud and not doing credit card commercials.

Anyway – we’ve all seen a million plane crash scenes but I thought this one was really creative and not “typical” like we always get. I also liked the aftermath in the wreckage and all of that, I liked the cast which also included a guy named Frank Grillo who was kind of awesome in the Mother’s Day remake I wrote about a while back and I thought that initial death scene was pretty cool:

Someone: “What’s happening?? What’s happening to me??”

Neeson (stone faced and Qui-Gon-y): “You’re going to die, that’s what’s happening to you.”

On their first night trying to survive the blizzard one of the dead bodies gets set upon by a wolf and Neeson (Ottway) fends it off then explains to everyone what’s going on and we get an exchange that goes something like this:

(everyone is huddled around a fire inside the wreckage of the plane)

Diaz (I think): “What make you an expert on wolves you motherfucker?”

Ottway: “Because they (the company) pay me to kill them so they won’t kill you”

Well, they make it through the night and the snow lets up so the next day they decide to head to the tree line to at least get a little more protection from the pack of wolves circling them. BTW – obviously there is some “violence to wolves” and if you read my stuff there’s nothing I hate more in life than animal violence, so I can channel my best Little Man Tate and tell you: “Those are fake wolves.” Back to the story – as they try and gather up supplies, Ottway tells them take everyone’s wallets so they can tell their families what happened to them when they get rescued. As Diaz is getting one from a nearby corpse he decides to go ahead and steal his money and we get some awesomeness like this:

Ottway: Put that back. Put it Back! We’re not looting dead bodies for swag.
Diaz: You got lucky today Ottway. You should be lying there with them. Don’t push it.
Ottway: I’m not going to say it again.
Diaz: Motherfucker take a big step back!
Ottway: I’m going to start beating the shit out of you in the next five seconds. And you’re going to swallow a lot of blood for a fucking billfold.

So they head into the trees and the head count starts to whittle away but the movie continues to be pretty tense up to the very end. I liked Neeson’s  monologue there at the end especially the “Fuck it, I’ll do it myself” part because that’s about how I live my life. There’s nothing worse to me than waiting around on some jackass to do something and their lazy asses never deliver so I say to myself, “Fuck it, I’ll just do it myself” and things get taken care of. They say that if you ever interview for a job and they ask you what your weakness is and you reply back with some shit about how “you work too hard” or something like that, that that’s (was that three thats?? awesome) not what they are looking for, but in my case that’s just the truth. I mean I can sit here all day with my thumb up my anus waiting around on people or I could just do it myself. Where did all of that shit come from? Where am I and what am I doing? Why does Panera Bread keep going so light on the cheese in the french onion soup??? Chintzy bastards!!

Oh yeah, I really liked this movie and I suppose you have to be in the mood for a plane-crash-in-alaska-survival-movie to enjoy this, which I was and am a big fan of the two of them that I have seen, forgetting that one where they start eating each other (gross). If anyone’s seen this, I think there are different versions of the scene after the credits – what did you get and what did you think?

2 comments

    • theipc

      I understand – you really probably either have to like the plane-crash-in-alaska-survival-movie thing or be in the mood for some surly Liam Neeson badassness and not get pissed off by a bunch of fake wolves hahaha 🙂 “almost” – awesome 🙂

      Like

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