Isaacs Picture Conclusions

LET’S SNEAK IN TO THE DRIVE IN # 1: INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) FOUR CORN DOGS

I’ll preface this with this: the other week I found an old 50 DVD set of “Drive In Classics” that I forgot I had and when I saw the titles I knew Fate had sent me in to that cabinet and here we are. Do you remember the drive in movie going experience? Sneaking your friends in loaded up in the trunk? Underage beer drinking? The smell of weed everywhere? Sneaking around looking at people making out in the back of the family station wagon? The most unhealthy fried food ever sold? Movies made with such a low production value because no one would be watching them due to those things? Well I do – very fondly, and I hope to make it through the entire pack! Nostalgia here I come! The first one out of the box was “Bee Girls” – and I loved it!! My rating of the four corn dogs (and I mean real corn dogs, not those wee things we can get in the grocery store) would be higher except the quality of the output on the DVD was pretty poor. Of course – this rating is relative to this type of movie – and not the others I look at. LOL – Bee Girls is no Dead Snow – but it was an awesome revisit to 70s-ness ūüôā I hope you like!

OH BOY… this is something else! I have to admit that I totally loved it – this¬†embodiment of 70s drive in, sleazy,¬†awesomeness. The acting is terrible, the images are grainy, the dialogue is hilarious, the boobs are everywhere, the music is terrific and the plot is fantastic! This is the type of movie I have been looking for in my search through the 70s – this is the type of thing I remember sneaking in to or watching with very little sound while my mom was asleep! I am sure this is totally not for everyone unless you’re like me and in for some 70s fun. Loved it!!. Maybe someday drive ins will come back in style and the local joint down the street will show this and you can go make it with someone!

In a small California town men are dying from having too much sex!!! What??!!?? That’s right – they are having too much sex!! Their life is being sexed right out of them! Before you dismiss this as a 42nd street porn, this is about how it goes: a busty woman wearing gigantic¬†sunglasses¬†approaches a married man, undoes her top and the next day someone comes across something like the scene depicted above. The¬†sheriff¬†doesn’t know what to do! The coroner explains that “this man died from having too much sex!!”! The government sends in it’s best man Neil Agar (William Smith who, if you think he looks familiar, his IMDB resume lists him in almost every TV show I watched as a kid) to see what the fuck’s happening! He teams up with the beautiful Julie Zorn (Victoria Vetri) but they can’t figure it out! Men keep dying!

What can we piece together before the big ending? These women with huge sunglasses and other things seduce middle aged men and then kill them. Then they call their wives and say “Your husband is in terrible danger. He can’t come to the phone right now but you can save him if you come to this location.” There, they apparently are stripped nude, hypnotized by some sort of very lo-tech contraption, smeared (very slowly, mind you) with honey and put into some sort of chamber where they are covered from head to toes with bees. I am not sure of the logic behind this but, when they come out, their eyes are all black and they have the desire… to mate!

~ spoilers ~

During that honey “session” up above we get some investigating by Agar and Zorn who may be on to something when they realize that Dr. Harris (Anitra Ford) is doing “experimental science on bees” back in her lab. Again, I don’t know the logic on how it happens – damn that curious radiation – but these women become female bee people who need to mate and make more bees (like the queen of a hive) but they are sterile so nothing’s working so they are making more “bees” by using the machines… OK? Zorn gets kidnapped and put in the machine!! Agar busts in guns blazing!! The machine explodes!! The bee girls are trapped inside the room! Lab coats open, they all die!! The threat is over!! We win, we win!!

Obviously, I really liked this, but this is my kind of thing. There’s also some pretty¬†unintentionally¬†funny lines in here that won’t translate if I type them. The only one that might look good on paper is this:

The¬†sheriff¬†is imposing a curfew on the town so “our lives will not be at risk” and some old, large, dude stands up and yells: “NO ONE’S GONNA TELL ME WHEN I CAN BALL MY OLD LADY!! OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!!!”

: )

23 comments

  1. This sounds utterly fantastic. I have a Roku player and there’s a whole channel (that for some odd reason I haven’t actually watched yet) that is called Drive-In Classics. I’m going to place a bet that this one can be found there! (I so need a week’s vacay just to lay about and watch movies!!)

    Like

    • theipc

      Hey – thanks! This was a lot of fun to watch and write about! I’ll go check yours out – that’s great to meet someone else who has seen this : ) thanks for the comment, sir.

      Like

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