In my quest to complete the entire Return of the Living Dead movies, I came face to face with an Evil Serpent coiled up in the weeds, hissing at me: this movie. How do I put this? Hmmm…. Hmmmmm….. this movie is a real piece of shit. All the way around. I have to admit that I knew that going in to doing this collection but I had hoped that maybe this was better than I remembered (whiskey). The answer to that is “NO” and “I AM AN IDIOT“. This movie is terrible. I hated the whole production and just about every aspect of it except for this person:

That person’s name is Aimee-Lynn Chadwick and I kind of feel bad for her that she had to start her career in this turd but I guess you have to do what you have to do. It boggles my mind that this movie was so awful – I mean who thought they were making a good movie here? This is pitiful and the acting stinks and the story sucks and the whole idea is just stupid. It also blows my mind that Peter Coyote is in this – he must have been really hard up for some bucks.

Here’s the thing: Coyote is some industrialist who goes to Chernobyl to get the last five tubs of Trioxin left in the world. Why? To make those thing there. Super Zombie Warriors and such. YAWN. Another thing of disinterest: his nephew runs around with a bunch of kids who love to jump dirt-bikes over ramps and call each other names and other such bullshit. They also have access to guns and one of them gets hurt and they – for real – break into the facility where the Super Zombie Warriors are and run into stuff like this:

Just like in the first one, someone releases the Trioxin in the air and everyone turns into the undead and our teenage heroes shoot weapons like they’ve been trained by the military and then the army comes in to save the day and Coyote steals off with the barrels of Trioxin setting up a sequel that I actually haven’t sen yet. Boooooooooo on this bullshit and never again. If you’re new to the place here and have some interest in the first three, they can be found on the ROTLD page up top.