Isaacs Picture Conclusions

July 4th! Break out the sparklers and head to the Drive – In for SAVAGE WEEKEND!

Well, we’ve made it to the second half of the year and, while it’s getting WAY too fucking hot, we’re still hanging in there. I hope everyone has had a decent first half of 2012 and I am keeping my fingers crossed the Mayans were wrong and we’ll still be around for 2013 – I mean, come on, HELLO STAR TREK 2!! Anyway, for those Good and Not From The U.S. Readers, July 4th is a national holiday where we celebrate that our ancestors broke up with Monarchy and started doing it with Democracy and all of that and here we are. A lot of cities around the States will be having huge parties and shooting off fireworks and having picnics and parades and showing off Patriotic Nationalism and all of that good stuff and – a lot of people take off work for a week and go on vacation somewhere. The purpose of that last sentence is to correlate and segue into what we will be observing here today:


I will not ever claim to have or stick by some sort of schedule but lately I have been able to put out a Drive In write-up on Wednesday, so maybe I can stick to it and it’s Wed. July 4th so here we go. Back in the day(s), my family (mainly my G-Pa and G-ma and one of my friends) would load coolers full of food, beers pops, etc., grab my Great G-Pa’s Station Wagon and head out to the lake for the July 4th Holiday. I remember it being very fun and I remember my Gramps always complaining about pot smoking hippies (I think I’ve mentioned that before) and, what, don’t tell anyone, but my friends and I would sneak one of his beers down to the shore at night. Don’t judge! You know you did it! Kids will be kids!!  Ah yes. Pop Top beers – yummmmmmmm. Let’s hop in the wagon and tool down main street en route to the Drive – In for a little bit of:

I honestly had no idea what to expect with this (or with any of the movies in these two boxes) but you can’t go wrong with this, right: “Several couples head upstate to the country to watch a boat being built. Unfortunately they are stalked by a murderer behind a ghoulish mask.” Well – we’ve been here before so we know there are some prerequisites, or some “givens” we are prepared for: shitty film quality, shitty sound, shitty acting, shitty dialogue and probably some loose boobs flying around. All present and accounted for, Captain! They also throw in a mustached, handlebar style, lumberjack who isn’t afraid to squeeze some cow milk into his hands and drink it,  a mustached, jealous ex-husband, William Sanderson doing his best “Larry, Darryl and Darryl” work as a crazy yokel, a very quick sex scene that will make any man proud of his stamina, a surprising bunch of ewwwwwwwwww violence and an interesting gay character who plays all “Jack Tripper” style for a few minutes, then beats the shit out of two rednecks in a bar and then goes back to being the stereotypical “Jack Trippery-Chef” guy. To close this, I was very surprised with what they did in this I-Stink-Of-No-Budget thing and I liked it. Recommended for fans of no budget, 70s slashers.

So, what have we got here? Alluring Marilyn Hamlin plays Marie, a woman distraught over her husband’s fall from “power” in the New York political scene and his subsequent emasculating shame, poor bastard. Her new boyfriend, her best girlfriend Shirley (Caitlin O’Heaney), a dude named Jay (aka The Quickie {lol}) and “Nicky” (Christopher Allport) all head off for Holiday in somewhere New York where the boyfriend is having a boat built by Sanderson (Otis) – a dumbass who can’t spell and still talks to his dead and buried Poppy, Clarence (I think was his name).

I still miss you poppy

The skinny about this: Marie and her new Old Man do some ballin’, Shirley and Jay do some ballin’, Marie and her New Old Man do some more ballin’, Otis gripes to his dead daddy about how them rich people are takin’ away the only thing he ever had (the boat), the lumberjack cuts a bunch of wood and milks a cow and suddenly a strange killer shows up in the summer house, dons a sweater and puts on a gross looking mask! Soon everyone is getting killed vis a vis a hanging, a stick pin in the ear, some sort of antler to a face and, wait for it, wait for it, being strapped over a table saw!! WHATTT!!! Shit! I’m not going to tell you who the killer is or what’s the motivation, but it was kind of funny in that 70s Drive – In way and I “left the theater” with a good feeling about this one. Now, where’s my Schlitz??


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