Isaacs Picture Conclusions

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (5): RAVE TO THE GRAVE (2005) ONE SHITTY TOP HAT

Just when you thought it couldn’t ever get any worse for the series that started off with one of my favorite movies ever, here comes the poor, sad, terrible, mother fucker that is this horrible, horrible movie. I thought 4 was terrible and it had to get better because we all learn from our mistakes, right? Well, please take my word for it that this is a real piece of shit and this merits nothing and you will never benefit from seeing this, ever. In fact, I totally hated this bastard. 100% suck.  Everything sucked here. The “direction”, the “acting”, the “plot”, the voice-over (why ???), the actors, the colors, the zombies, the costumes, the sets, the hairdos, the idea behind this, those two dudes pretending to be Russians, the “rave”, the DJ, the fucking stupid lab guy and his pet rat “Mr. Stinky”, the pitiful “screaming”, the music, the stoners, the writers, the dialogue, the attempt to be funny, the ambient sound, the props, the make-up, and poor, young Aimee-Lynn Chadwick gets reduced to this:

grrrr, grrrr, grrrr, grrr, grrr, grrr

I hate this thing so much I don’t really even want to get into it.  Blah, blah, blah Peter Coyote has the last of the Trioxin barrels. Blah, blah, blah no wait there’s a couple hidden in his house. Blah, blah, blah his nephew who was in 4 and has no clue about anything from the previous movie like it never happened finds them. Blah, blah, blah he and his chemistry buddies make the Trioxin juice into a drug and everyone gets high. Blah, blah, blah they turn into zomibies. Blah, blah, blah they all get blown up by the army. This thing totally sucked it.

So, like this pitiful rendering of the original Tarman, I am putting this franchise out to pasture. I really hope that someone eventually makes a good sequel, or, at least something better that the first film deserves. I struggled for a while on what the next franchise I look at should be and I think it’s going to be the Wrong Turns. If you’re new around here, the rest of these movies can be found on the ROTLD page up at the top or bottom of whatever device you use to see this stuff. To you, Return of the Living Dead 4 & 5, I say: adios mother fuckers.

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