Isaacs Picture Conclusions

LOCKOUT (2012) TWO TOP HATS

Guy Pearce is one of my favorite actors – I mean that. I could come out here and make a list of all of my favorite roles of his but there’s no point in doing that because he’s awesome in everything except for the unexciting Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. And this stinkumup. You would think with Luc Beeson running the show and Pearce in the lead, we’d get something fantastic but I am sad to report that, quite frankly,  this just wasn’t any good. I mean – this started off pretty stupid with terrible looking CGI and piss poor dialogue then it got slightly interesting with piss poor dialogue and stupid one liners, then it got kind of stupid with piss poor dialogue and then it got eye rollingly dumb with P.P.D. and then it began to end and the P.P.D. was finally over. Why did you do this Pearce? Why? Why aren’t you doing things like The Proposition or Memento? Or The Hurt Locker or The Road? Why did you agree to this? Did someone have you by the balls or something? You are a stud actor and you deserve better than this, my brother.

So it’s the future and Kurt Russell is Snake Plissken and he is set up for a crime he didn’t commit so he is sent to the prison state of New York to rescue the president. OOOPS – let me start over. It’s the future and Guy Pearce is a guy named Snow who is framed for a crime he didn’t commit so he is sent to a giant spaceship prison to rescue the president’s daughter from a gang of 500 loose prisoners. Frenetic and constant fighting looms – as do stupid one liners and unbelievable actions by the characters. Whatever – yawn – it took me three days to get through this.

“Don’t take any wooden nickles, kid.”

I’m all about Sci-Fi and action movies as long as they have something good to offer, but this really had nothing that kept me engaged. I find it hard to believe that the guy protecting the daughter (Maggie Grace) would blow his brains out to let her have ten more seconds of air (maybe they ARE that devoted??)  or that the filmmakers would have us believe that Pearce and Grace just did a spacesuit-less free-fall from the ozone layer and just landed safely in the streets or that the president’s wounded and hospitalized daughter would up and sneak out of the ICU ward unseen and head in to the subways of New York to ferret out the big red herring of the movie or that anyone would think that the accent Peter Stormare is attempting to pull of is believable.

I would say to thee – don’t waste your hard earned money on this – catch it for free when you are home sick and dosed up on prescription cough medicine so if you fall asleep with your dog on the bed next to you keeping you company – you won’t have missed anything important.

14 comments

  1. wordschat

    Yes lookout,lock down, look down, lockout, whatever is bad. Thanks for checking my P2 review. Search on it again for my review of this bad retread.

    Like

  2. Ha! Good. You didn’t like this. I was worried when you mentioned it’s one of your blog’s top search terms? Because it’s one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I’ll probably do it for Nooovember (if she still needs people. I’m a bit slow). 🙂 This movie SUCKED.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Lockout (2012) | Super Formula PC

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: