Isaacs Picture Conclusions

KILL LIST (2011) THREE OR FOUR TOP HATS

This is weird. I want to say that I really liked this movie, because I kind of did but:

  • This is a British movie and the accents are thicker than, I don’t know, “lead” so I really couldn’t hear or understand what was going on most of the time – I mean MOST of the time.
  • The dialogue is also mostly ad-libbed so, even without a script, I had no idea what they were saying.
  • It doesn’t bother me  that this “One Movie” is three completely different thirds but, THAT’S how it ended? After everything we’ve been through together THAT’S how you break up with me? Like THAT??? Huh. Well. I see.
  • OMG on what THE LIBRARIAN was up to. UGH. GROSS. UGH GROSS. The special effects on the librarian’s demise were so gross I had to put my hand in front of my face. I haven’t seen anything that realistically gnarly since, well, I don’t know. Yeesh…. shudder… gag. I mean great job but….

Now let’s take a look at the Pros:

  • This filming of this thing was absolutely incredible.
  • So was the directing.
  • So was MyAnna Buring.
  • So were the blood and set effects (those masks).
  • So was the lead (Neil Maskell) and Gal (Michael Smiley) (even though I couldn’t understand them).
  • So was, just kind of everything… but….

I don’t think I have ever been so conflicted on something, so let’s go with a “three or four” depending on my mood at this particular second and let’s get on with things.

Kill List is about an ex military guy who is now / used to be a hitman whose last job didn’t go so swell so he’s been “out of work” for eight months. He’s married to the gorgeous MyAnna Buring and they have a kid and a pretty rocky relationship to say the least. They constantly scream and yell at each other and then she slaps him around a little bit every now and then, then the next shot they’re being all lovey dovey and hugging and dancing. Weirdos.  In their little circle of friends is the lead “Jay”s hitman partner Gal and he brings over a new girlfriend one night, Fiona (Emma Fryer – who is this?? smooch). They all have some dinner and some drinks and then the screaming starts and then Fiona puts that symbol up above on the back of Jay’s bathroom mirror and steals his blood soaked toilet paper (from when he cut himself shaving). K….

Well, in part two, Jay and Gal decide to take a job offer since Jay is out of money and they agree to go kill three people. That’s the kill list, see. The first is a priest who tells Jay “thank you” before Jay blows his brains all over the place. The second is a person called The Librarian who commits the most unspeakable crimes known to man. The first third of this is a “dysfunctional family” type of drama thing that worked for me even though I really didn’t know what was being said or screamed or muttered. The second third is the grueling and gross “hit man” portion that also worked for me even though some of the special effects were absolutely brutal. Then, out of nowhere, they go to do hit number three – someone called THE M.P. – and this goes into woodland Paganism which didn’t really bother me but – huh? Why again did we take this route?

It seems that there are many Passionate People out there when it comes to their horror. I understand that but I am a guy who just tries to take it easy and hope I come across something I like a lot.  In fact, my old subtitle for my site here used to be “an honest review by a guy who likes everything”. My purpose for bothering you with that? There’s TONS of negativity for this movie on IMDB, both in the comments and the reviews.  My take? I actually thought it was pretty good BUT there’s some very polarizing action in the last 30 minutes.  I understand why people might hate it, but I also look at the whole thing and think, well, I don’t know, it was kind of good for a long time. I know it didn’t fit in but the last 30 was “good”, but not for this movie. Does that make sense? Probably not…

Considering “the last third” – this scene, depicted above, in the tunnel was actually pretty harrowing for me. I’ve gotten as claustrophobic as they come as I’ve gotten older so, YUP that worked.  But – WHY? WHY would this be happening? That just doesn’t make sense. If we’re going here and then there and then there and then end up here, why would this tunnel scene be happening and why, if that is what it is, why would the wife be shooting people in the house? I don’t get you. You confuse me, you puzzle.  Everything was going so, kind of, well and then, huh? Well, HMMM.

So there’s that. Maybe a three, maybe a four. It’s gruesome as it gets, and it’s made well, but…      ?

14 comments

    • theipc

      hmmmmm – that might be your best bet. BUT – maybe you SHOULD watch it so you can help me translate the words that come out of their mouths!! : )

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      • I don’t know if I’ll be much help there….that movie with, I think Brad Pitt with all the heavy accents…Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, maybe?? Anyway, I had to give up on that because I had NO clue what anyone was saying, lol.

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      • theipc

        Awesome! That’s one thing I’ve always kind of had going in my favor when people ask me where I’m from – I don’t have the “southern accent” like most of the folks around here do… so I do know what you’re talking about : )

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      • I normally don’t have a hint of Southern but when I get tired it appears as if magic and people just start going “What?? What are you saying? What language is that??” *sighs* 😉

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  1. This movie sucked balls man. I had such high hopes for it, and yet came away feeling hollow and disappointed. Obviously the language wasn’t a problem for me as Im from round these parts, but I just found it dull, slow, and just so stupidly naive and it took some ridiculous directions and had a crap ending. Even going into the tunnels was pointless, and the whole ‘twist’ about what was going on was insane. This was worse than REC 3, and you know my feelings on that! I just dont know where the love for this film came from………..Rant over 🙂

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    • theipc

      I get the hate for this, brother – I do. I think why I didn’t hate this as much as some people is because I watch a lot of SHIT and I like it when something looks real good. The tunnel thing was pointless and made no sense but it still gave me the claustrophobic willies so it gets a mark for that at least. Rant on, sir!

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  2. Good write-up man. I actually really liked this although I’m still a bit perplexed on the final third. Im entirely convinced by it but regardless of how it fits, I still found this to very made. I’ve a review in my index if you fancy checking it out?

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