Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE LOVED ONES (2009) FIVE PROM KING CROWNS

On my OVERVIEW page, I explain my rating system… I don’t work for some syndicate and have to balance out my ratings for some editor and have to spend weeks dreamily reflecting on the entire library of movies that have ever been produced. Four “hats” equal something I would totally watch again and five is “something that made my life more enjoyable”. Well, let me just  tell you right now that I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE.  It’s brutal! It’s bloody!! It’s sexy!! It’s funny!! It’s disturbing as all get out!! The characters are AWESOME!! The dad is one of the creepiest “villains” I have ever seen!! The chicks are hot!! The dialogue is awesome: “Boys” POUND!! “Shouldn’t” POUND!! “Hit” POUND!! “Girls” POUND ” (pause….) And this one’s for the Kingswood!! POUND!! The effects are fantastic!! It’s Australian!! The last scene is kick ass!! Did I like this movie? Damn straight and I can’t even wait to watch it again!! BRAVO!!

Where do I go next after gushing all over this thing….? It’s almost embarrassing how much I liked this – blush. This is the type of thing that I wish I could make. The characters are all deep and it’s insanely bloody and funny and there’s two stories going on and it’s sexy and hey – there’s even some trepanning WHAT???  Poor old Bright Eyes…  and by the way, that’s NOT John Hamm’s dad.

So a guy named Xavier Samuel plays a guy named Brent who accidentally kills his dad while swerving out of the way of a bloody figure in the road. Six months later he’s totally fucked up and spends his time cutting himself or hanging off a cliff for as long as possible (beautiful scene). Prior to that though, we see him and his equally bothersome hairdo-ed friend making plans for prom night. His buddy Jamie (Richard Wilson) just scored a date with the local hot goth chick (Jessica McNamee) (who has some serious problems of her own) and Brent’s gonna just hang with his girlfriend Holly (Victoria Thaine). As he prepares to leave school for the year, he shuts his locker and, standing there, is a very cute chick named Lola (Robin McLeavy) who asks him to the dance. “Sorry” he says, meekly and kindly, “But I’m going with Holly”.

Naturally, Lola’s dad kidnaps him, ties him up in a chair, injects his neck with something and they have prom at home!! YAY!!! Complete with a disco ball, a new prom dress, a mom with a hole in her head and gruesome torture!! While Jamie is off getting stoned and drinking and having his junk groped in the middle of the gym floor, Brent is getting his feet nailed to the floor by a butcher knife, forced to suck on Lola’s finger and carved up with a dinner fork!! Aaaaaah High School!! I don’t want to go into much more about this because this is an Isaacs Classic and I can’t wait to see it again.

I absolutely loved the last scene – well – just about everything about this for that matter. It would be hard to make a sequel to this but OMG I hope they make a prequel. If nothing else, at least go watch the trailer and see what you think. As I’ve always said, to each their own and maybe you won’t like it, but this was everything I needed for a horror movie. THANK YOU!

17 comments

    • theipc

      Hey THANKS Tyson! You wrote about this? I thought I had read everything you’ve put out… I’ll go check it out and I won’t argue with you : ) This movie was fucking fantastic!! I wonder why it took so long to get to the states… did they ship the DVD across the oceans in a basket or something?? This definitely needs more fans!!

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      • No worries, was out my first week as a site, when I had no readers! Will be reposted……

        Yeah 2009 it was out, like most things made outside of the US it takes a while to hit the states. Europe tends to get Aussie films pretty quick for some reason……….either way at least youve seen it! Im sure there is a prequel confirmed, I remember reading about it, Ill try dig up some info for when I re-do mine.

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  1. jpthorn

    Freakin’ awesome review man! You made me want to watch it again like, right now. I totally agree about the final scene – it was masterfully shot.

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    • theipc

      Hey THANKS!! I loved this!! I don’t want to give anything away to other Americanos since this just came out here but – well – you know – fuck yeah for this movie! I went to buy it earlier online but I can’t find a compatible Blu Ray for sale here… I wait… impatiently….

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  2. goregirl

    “FIVE PROM KING CROWNS” indeed!! I fucking loved this movie too!! Lola is awesome…and she loves daddy so very much;) I actually felt sorry for Brent…I wish more new movies were as good as this one!

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  3. Pingback: THE DEVIL’S CANDY (2015) FOUR BLUDGEONING GIBSON FLYING V GUITARS | Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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