Isaacs Picture Conclusions

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 (2012) THREE TOP HATS

Here’s some more thoughts for the day in case you’re looking to get out of your house and head to the cineplex for a Talkie. Well, I suppose I should start off this way.

When I have to listen to or read about constant hype for ANYTHING it usually puts me off and makes me not want to have anything to do with whatever product everyone is saying I have to go see or try or eat or listen to. Take The Green Mile. I just saw that a few years ago and yes that was a mistake to wait so long. Or the idiotic Napoleon Dynamite – eventually I relented and watched it on TV and my GOD I hated that goddamn fucking movie. The point of all of that is that everyone in the world seemed to be plugging PARANORMAL ACTIVITY when it came out and I don’t remember why, but I did go see it in the theater and I was surprised by how much I liked it.

That said: when it came time for the DVD release there was no reason in the known world to watch it again because the jig is up on that one trick pony so I never have re-watched. Since  the re-watch factor doesn’t exist, I would probably have to give that thing a three for giving me some scary moments the first time I saw it – in the movie theater filled with a bunch of screaming teenage girls.

When 2 came out I was mildly interested so I skipped out of work and went to the mall and got my hot dogs and my nachos (and peppers) and sat through a dismal movie with the exact same gimmickry (and characters) as the first one and I was completely pissed. What a joke!! I would probably give that a 2 for not being Napoleon Dynamite – you could read my original thoughts HERE if you needed something to do while making your afternoon stool.

Then came THREE and I thought the TV spot for it looked pretty wicked so I did the same thing regarding work. The new directors were the guys behind CATFISH (which I didn’t care for) but I thought they really took the big budget money and ran with it. I take some unnecessary heat against my will because I don’t care if a movie is a sequel or a remake or a foreign copy or whatever – I just want it to be GOOD. I am looking at you Tyson and you Bruiser and I’m talking about things like (REC3) and FINAL DESTINATION 5. Anyway, I really (really) liked 3 and thought it was awesome and that Bloody Mary shower scene almost scared me and I was very pleased.

I have to tell you that, to me, four is not a bad movie at all it’s just kind of a copy of 3 in a different house with two little boys instead of two little girls. So – I’m a little disappointed but it still wasn’t something terrible like the newest CONAN movie. The only other difference I think I can comment on is we’ve moved away from those damn convenient security cameras and now we get the recording feature of everyone in the family’s MacBook Pros. That’s right – even the six year old kid has a hand me down MacBook. This family must be loaded!

Oh yeah – and footage from a souped up XBOX 360 KINECT thingie (at least I think that’s where we got this imagery). I don’t want to spoil anything, just in case you plan on seeing it but – to Wednesday’s Child and Hard Ticket to Home Video – yes there IS a “cat in the cupboard” scene : ) One last thing to add. The way I prefer to see horror movies is by myself at the top of the aisles on Friday afternoon when there’s no one else in the theater. Today there was me, two other dudes by themselves, a solo lady and two chicks. After the final, final shot of the movie, one of them ran out of the theater crying or highly excited about something. I don’t think it was because of the movie (but it could have been I suppose – maybe she pooped herself) but, if anyone from the movie’s production team ever reads this – you might have scared the shit out of at least one person.

Have good weekends everyone!!

36 comments

  1. I cannot BELIEVE you hated Napoleon Dynamite. This makes me so incredibly sad. 😦 That said I hate all the Paranormal Activity movies because they are pure crap and even when my friend’s 11 year old watched the first one with me she realized how bad it was and how big a douchebag that boyfriend was and said it wasn’t scary. She did then make me sit through all the others…but still. 😉

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    • theipc

      You didn’t like 3? I thought it was pretty good… I guess sometimes, my friend, we’re just going to disagree on things… : ( I… I… I… hated ND SO MUCH…. I am sure it didn’t help anything that all of my friends and everyone on TV where going around quoting lines from that damned thing constantly… ARRRRRRRRRRG

      +_+

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      • But…but…the dance scene!!! THE DANCE SCENE!!!! And nope, didn’t like any of them. *sighs* It’s okay to disagree. Because we totally agree on things like DUST UP!!!

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      • theipc

        Yes!! That’s all that matters – these big budget things get their love from millions of people. It’s the DUST UPs of the world that count!!

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    • theipc

      Hey – BTW! There was a trailer for a new G. del Toro produced movie called MAMA. It looks totally creepy as at comes. And awesome!! (Do you watch Game of Thrones?? it’s got Jamie Lannister in it)

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  2. I was burned so badly on the first Paranormal Activity ad campaign that I refuse to watch any of the other movies. Remember when they pretended that you had to sign petitions to get the film a wide release? Being so used to interesting indie films never making it anywhere near here, I thought it was real, so I helpfully posted all the promotional crap disguised as a grassroots effort, complete with embedded video of studio plants losing their shit at how scary the movie was. And then went to the midnight showing here and found it was one of the most boring, least scary horror films ever made, complete with two aggravating leads who I actually hoped would come to physical harm for real. Ta da! I felt so stupid, I even removed all references to it from my blog!

    Seconding the disbelief that you don’t like Napoleon Dynamite!

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    • theipc

      The woman is scorned!! I feel the same way about Dynamite – except I did nothing to help promote. I thought it was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen and couldn’t / can’t believe so many people like it so much. I mean we all have our own opinions and all which is great but ugh IMO. I went looking on your site the other day to see if you had written anything about a little Drive In job called The Sister in Law. Have you seen that? It’s actually kind of…. good!

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  3. I stopped reading when you said you didnt like Napoleon Dynamite. Prooves everything I need to know about you 🙂 WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!! Lol………

    Then I carried on reading as i saw my name, and i always love seeing that! I loved PA3, best in the franchise, but not heard much good stuff about PA4. Will be catching it soon though. Good job on this buddy 🙂

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    • theipc

      I am going to do the Proper American Thing and simply ignore your hateful, all caps attempt at slander on my behalf even though I have never been anything but nice to you and do everything I can to make sure you are a huge success.

      Regarding PA 4 – I would just wait for it to come out on TV and not spend your hard earned Euros on it. Of course, I am sure you are sitting on a giant pile of hard cash with all of your recent success I have helped you achieve and not been paid one cent so you can probably afford to rent out an entire theater and take your whole neighborhood that is in no way near London to the movie.

      Love!!

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  4. Stacy

    Don’t know who this Bruiser person is, but they must be a highly intelligent human being because FD5 sucked ass! However, you’ve totally redeemed yourself with your accurate description of Napoleon Dynamite. I hate stupid humor. Can’t anything be funny without being stupid anymore? Don’t even get me started on Will Ferrell.

    Now – aside from that – I really have to address something from your interviews. The Shining. Put your Big Girl Panties on Isaacs and watch the damn thing. It’s been playing on Dish all week, so it must be a sign just for you! 😛 It is your duty as a Horror Blogger to do so. Piss your pants and hide under the covers if you must. I’m sure your wife will protect you.

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    • theipc

      I wish there had been some more “meat” with those potatoes and bread – but – well, I guess you read this. I thought 4 just kind of took a snooze on the wonderful-ness of 3. I had really high hopes for it and will still have them high for 5.

      You might have missed it (or intentionally ignored it) (which is cool) but I have a coffin based DVD-set of the entire Blind Dead series. I would love to collaborate if you have the time… I’ve only watched the first one (which I loved) and – well – there you go.

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