Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ISAACS INTERVIEWS WEDNESDAY’S CHILD

WEDNESDAY’S CHILD is my friend and also a woman who once took off from her home with her girlfriend in a ’66 Ford convertible, headed for Mexico. Along the way they got into a whole mess of trouble, killed a man and blew up a semi. Cornered by the cops and facing certain jail time, the two of them agreed on their fates and drove their car over a cliff at the Grand Canyon, killing themselves. Now she writes wonderful words over at DEEP RED RUM ~ a place I go to almost every day for insight into movies and TV I have never heard of. If for some unexplained reason you have never been there, read what we have below and then head over there immediately for Pete’s sake. Recently, I took the T-Tops off of my ’76 T.A. and travelled down 100s of miles of dirt roads to ask W.C. these hotter-than-700-dollars questions. Gracious as a Southern Belle, she had a wet dish cloth ready for me to clean off my dirt-road filthy face.

THANK YOU ERIN FOR DOING THIS!!!!!!!

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This is really, still a lot of fun for me – and I hope for all of you too! You are all soooooo awesome!!! As always, I never want to be a bother to anyone, so if anyone else is interested in doing this you can like this page or like THIS PAGE or leave me a comment or send me an email to ei@theipc.me – If you have “expressed” interest and I haven’t gotten back to you, I would never ignore you, it’s just that I want to do these one at a time and do them right – I will be getting back to you, promise : )

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I gag uncontrollably when I brush my teeth, do you?

Yeah, I do too. It was much worse when I was younger, but I still catch myself letting it happen from time to time. The funny thing is that when I broke up with my first live-in boyfriend, he said that he missed hearing that sound at night although he’d hated it when I was living there and choking on my toothbrush. That’s probably one of the weirder “romantic” things that’s been said to me.

If your best friend or loved one turned into a shit eating vampire, would you stake them in the heart?

Probably not, because it would be too interesting to know that vampirism was real. But I might call the CDC on them!

The Shining scared me so bad when I saw it as a kid that I can’t watch it again. Thoughts?

I feel the same way about Pet Sematary, specifically about Zelda. My dad and I walked out of that movie, him because he was disgusted about Gage being killed (he won’t watch anything with a kid dying if he can help it) and me, going along with his outrage but secretly being so afraid of Zelda. A couple of years ago I was looking up things about the movie and I found a group of people on some site who had the same trouble until they watched clips of the guy (it was a guy playing that part) doing his thing as Zelda, you know, for aversion therapy? And they felt better after that, whereas before there had been this vague sense that Zelda could get them at any time. But I couldn’t even bring myself to watch clips of Zelda for that reason And it’s too bad, too, because the dad in that movie was HOT, and so I’d like to watch it again, but I can’t.

You’re at a bar drinking Brandy with Jesus Christ (whatever your religious affiliation is or is not). What do you ask him?

I would like to know what he was doing between the ages of 12, when he was wowing the priests at the temple with his precocious knowledge and thoughts about religion, and his early 30s, when he started his ministry. I am a big Christian, by the way. Choir member, committee member, volunteer for a couple of food ministries within the church. My pastor knows all about my blog, and we discuss films often. I’m a Methodist, though, so it’s cool. I’m a big fan of the J to the C man.

John Leguizamo. Yes or no?

Ugh. I hated The Pest, and he was even more irritating in Too Wong Foo than Guy Pearce in the same role in Priscilla, if that’s possible. What is up with that guy? No. Definitely no. (ED: Amen!!!)

Worst movie you’ve ever seen? Note: Anything by Uwe Boll is off the table.

I’m gonna have to go with Kids. I hated it so much; it was the most unpleasant, uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had to sit through. I don’t know why people enjoy films like that; I mean, we all know that shit happens, but I don’t need to pay money to sit in the dark and watch it happening 20 feet high, like I’m in some kind of Kids sensory deprivation chamber. Do something else for awareness, like be a goddamn parent to your own kids and volunteer at their school to give positive attention to other kids. The funny thing was, I was at the Tara theater in Atlanta, and I went out into the lobby to take a break, because it was so intense, and there was Jane Fonda, standing there with her arms crossed, looking all mad because I guess she didn’t like it either. And then when I caught my breath and started to go back in, she held the door for me and came in behind me, like well, I guess we have to finish this fucking awful movie, since our respective partners are still inside. What a weird celebrity sighting, huh? I saw a pretty darn good actress at a terrible movie. Hi Jane! Thanks for making Klute. (I didn’t say anything to her in real life.) (ED: How exciting!!!)

I have a blog friend who claims she doesn’t eat olives, what do you think about that?

I have known/lived with/been related to too many people with that damn picky adult eater syndrome to disbelieve anything that people will or won’t eat. Hell, my therapist has it. They’re putting it in the next edition of the DSM. But I reserve the right to get my verbal digs in to the ones I know when they make it difficult to choose a restaurant. Olives are fucking delicious. (ED: NO SHIT on the ‘delicious’ part!!)

Could you saw your own arm off with a pocket knife if you had to?

I hope I never have to find out. I assume you’re talking about the guy who went hiking alone and ended up not only having to cut off his arm but also had to be played by James Franco in the bio pic? (ED: Yup) Stories like that are why I am not an outdoorsy person. There are many good reasons why humans have evolved to the point where we have houses and indoor plumbing, and we should stay in our houses at night. When I was young I went camping with a bunch of lesbians from my college and they made me pick up twigs for the fire and then roll joints. And they made fun of me for being femme, of course. That was my contribution to the sport of camping.

If you could adopt an unorthodox pet (no cats or dogs, etc) what would you pick and what would you name him or her? I would pick a Giraffe and name him or her Sgt. Peppers.

Obviously I would want a flying unicorn named Mister Chris. (ED: Obviously….)

You have to have a clock on your desk (no phones or computers). Do you go digital or analog?

Can I have a wall clock? I want a wall clock that has the Peanuts characters on it and plays the theme song on the hour, but I want the option to turn off the song function. (ED: Yes, Peanuts or one of those wall-cat-clocks where the eyes move and tail swings are perfectly acceptable.)

What are your thoughts on the new trend of hat wearing?

I wish I looked good in hats. When I was young I looked good in hats, or thought I did, but now I’d feel like I was saying “Hey, y’all, look at me!” My husband looks good in hats, though, so it’s cool.

I am not a big fan of big, puffy vests because I don’t understand why you would only want your chest warm in the winter. Please provide your thoughts.

Man, those vests were the THING in the 80s. I think they help you time travel or something, that’s the obvious joke. But they have to be worn with a hat. As long as your head and chest are warm…I don’t know. I have lived in the tropical part of Georgia most of my life, I have no idea about cold weather clothing.

You walk into someone’s office at work and it’s clear they have just farted, what do you do?

Hope nobody walks in behind me and forces me, out of fear of them thinking it’s me, forces me to call out the real farter. Because I can be pretty obnoxious when I have to work at a real paying job. It gets you through the day. That is why my husband lets me stay home these days; we were getting angry phone calls and letters to the editor about my behavior at work.

Have you ever eaten a Turducken? If so, what did you think?

I have not. I would, if one was on the menu at a dinner party or something, but I have to say that having the first syllable of a name for a food be “Turd” is not the best example of nomenclature that I have encountered.

Texting or calling? What is your preferred method of communicating with another human?

I don’t text. I pay enough for the data plan on the smartphone, so I would rather have people email me, but failing that, a phone call is good. Texting has an implication of immediacy that rubs me the wrong way. My parents, though, have turned into texting fools in their old age. It is hilarious to watch them act like teenagers, except when they insist on doing it while driving.

and then:

I know that you’re really in to the paranormal and other wonderful, weird things. What are your thoughts on The Voynich Manuscript??

I want to believe it came from space, or another dimension, or was written by supernatural creatures or something, but it’s probably a work of fantastic art. (ED: I know!!! I have high hopes that we have proof that something / one else has been been here and given us the written form but I have a feeling it’s just some sort of scrapbook of some sort…. : ( )

Speaking of weird things, what is your take on cutaneous horns????

I am glad neither I nor my son have them. I imagine a phrenologist would have a field day feeling up somebody’s ol’ cutaneous horns. (ED: Dear Reader, if you’re not familiar with this subject, please be careful google imaging them….)

I read that you recently presented your treatise on The Effects of The Large Hadron Collider in Relation to Temporal Continuity Principals and Displacement to CERN. Unfortunately, as I was reading that, the website suddenly and unexplained-ly disappeared and I can’t find any mention of this anywhere else. How was your research received and what do you think about this puzzling absence of information?

I reported to them that I used my knowledge to change a seemingly insignificant event in the past: I went back and saved the life of my favorite cat in 2001. The cat realizes that he was dead in an alternate time for 11 years, so he won’t stay out of my vodka now. I don’t know if he is celebrating or mourning. I guess there is a conspiracy to keep time travel out of the hands of the great cat-loving unwashed. Probably the people in power, the ones that are part lizard, will take it over and fuck it up like they do everything else. (ED: This interview has been all kinds of awesome but the fact that you mention the half lizard people in power just made this even BETTER!!!)

If I was not married and could be a companion on any series of Doctor Who I would travel with the Fifth Doctor and totally try and make it with Tegan Jovanka. If you could be a companion and travel through time with any of his generations, which would it be and why????

I hate to admit this, but I have never seen one moment of an episode of Doctor Who. I don’t even know where to start with that whole thing at this point. (ED: O_O)

Lastly ~ When I first started putting things out on WordPress, I was scared that I would face public humiliation and shame. You are actually the first person I ever talked to on WP and you were encouraging and nice and fun and positive and made me feel good about what I was doing and I consider you a good friend, electronically or not. Thoughts????

I was? Man, that makes me so happy that you would say that. I have been blogging for over three years, pretty much isolated and alone, and then when WordPress came out with that new reader all of a sudden this film blogger community we are all a part of just grew. I think you were a big part of that, you and Misty of Cinema Schminema, because you both are outgoing. And I love that I get to talk to you every day. We are good friends, and it doesn’t matter that it’s on the computer. I talk to you more than I talk to people I’ve known for 30 years right here in town, because we have this common obsession of weird movies. And that’s really the heart of why people blog, isn’t it? To form a community of like-minded people? I mean, that’s the right reason to do it, I think. (ED: I think that’s it!!!)

THANKS AGAIN FOR DOING THIS!! THIS WAS GOOD FUN!!!

17 comments

  1. “I’m gonna have to go with Kids. I hated it so much” This! Marry me!

    Also, this was one of the most touching things I have ever read: ” We are good friends, and it doesn’t matter that it’s on the computer. I talk to you more than I talk to people I’ve known for 30 years right here in town”.

    Great interview, the best so far!

    Like

  2. J. Kindleman

    Another great interview in a series of great interviews. I particularly enjoyed this one as it made me google things I had never heard of or forgotten about (cutaneous horns & the Voynich manuscript respectively). Also reassuring to know I’m not the only one that has never seen Doctor Who!

    Like

    • theipc

      THANKS Kindleman!! We’ve gotten away form our studies in recent years (which is probably a good thing) but it’s always good to revisit the classics : )

      and – c’mon – no Who???

      Like

  3. Lemuel Severance

    Holy Cannoli – that was fantastic – you know the better half of the Severance household has done some writings / studies on phrenology – Such a great and varied interview – well-rounded bloggers are in the house!! as Arsenio might say…

    Like

    • theipc

      Thank you, good sir! I am familiar with the better half’s work via thee. Thank you for the comment and if someone else ever wanted to participate, the welcome is given.

      Like

  4. EXCELLENT INTERVIEW!!!!!

    “I’m a Methodist, though, so it’s cool.” *giggles* *double giggles* Being from Alabama that even makes me *triple giggles*.

    “I think you were a big part of that, you and Misty of Cinema Schminema, because you both are outgoing.” Aw, thanks!! In all honesty though, I am incredibly shy – until I was a senior in high school, most of my classmates thought I was a mute. True story.

    I also love your pet unicorn but hate the name (it’s an ex thing, shallow but still there) – unicorns are awesome. And in the last half of the interview, I pretty much have no idea what you’re talking about with Voynich Manuscripts and cutaneous horns…this makes me think you are fairly brilliant because that was a whole lotta smart talk happening. Also Doctor Who – you should watch this thing. Start with Christopher Eccleson (sp?) and go from there (even though he’s my least favorite doctor but I think it’s necessary to start there for the new series – David Tennant is my all time fave – he’s amazing and tragic) and I just realized I’m talking a lot, I think because I’m really tired…but you and E. are kickawesome people and this was the best thing EVER!!!!!

    Like

      • theipc

        (if you wanted to be a part of the REEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYY cool club you would start with Tom Baker’s “ROBOT” episodes from back in the 70s)

        Like

      • I’m looking at the Wikipedia entry on Dr. Who and I find it to be completely overwhelming. I would probably start with the first one, and it would take me roughly the rest of my life to finish. But here’s a joke about Methodists I remembered while out walking today:

        A man dies and goes to heaven, St. Peter is showing him around, and they go to the recreational hall. On either side of the hallway there are two rooms. On the right is a roomful of people dancing and drinking and whopping and hollering, engaging in every manner of debauchery you can imagine. On the left, a roomful of people silently sitting in straight-backed chairs twiddling their thumbs. The man asked St. Peter, “What is going on here?” St. Peter said, “well, the people on the right were the Baptists. They’re doing everything they didn’t get to do when they were alive. The people on the left, well, those are the Methodists. They did whatever they wanted when they were alive, and now that they’re in heaven they can’t think of anything else.”

        ALSO, people in the South are evolving, it’s getting to where Baptists and Methodists will speak to each other in the liquor store.

        Thank you and goodnight!

        Like

      • theipc

        I’ve been doing Who for almost 37 years and I’m still not caught up. The old ones (to me) are more endearing because they are so simple and you can imagine the cast all getting together and practicing and rehearsing and imagining “ok here is going to be a giant space alien, pretend you’re scared” and the special effects are worse than the local radio station’s weatherman where you were growing up.

        BUT – the new ones actually are very good looking and have some seriously solid stories so you don’t have to be “from the 70s” to not hate the old episodes. I wish you luck (and I think you would appreciate some of these, really, even if you don’t try and do the whole canon of Who.)

        Very funny!! I was actually just at the liquor store and when I was getting in my truck some dude was walking by and really going after his balls. I’m glad I didn’t have to touch the door handle after that fucker.

        Like

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