Yesterday I was sitting around emotionally and beeredly hungover form the big OU / OSU game, wondering what I would post for the anniversary of my birth, also know as The Day That Changed Everything For Me, and I was flipping through iTunes and saw this and thought – “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO should I try this???” I’ve said before, on this primarily horror site, that there’s really only a few movies that have actually scared me: The Shining, Psycho 2, The Descent and this. I am still working up the nerve to watch The Shining again, since everyone keeps making fun of me on my interviews (but then I would have to change that question….) so I thought I would give this another go.
Well, here I am, wearing more than my birthday suit, reporting back that: visually this was very impressive except for the CGI that looks really dated, the blood effects were still really gnarly and realistic looking, the story and direction was still pretty cool and that viewing of the ship’s log still gave a me a stir. BUT – almost every single line of dialogue that comes out of Richard T Cooper’s (the damage control character) mouth was irritating and distracted from the tension the movie was trying to create and then, honestly, aside from Cooper’s ridiculous “ride” back to the Event Horizon after the Lewis and Clarke explodes, the last scene where Fishburne and Sam Neill fistfight was almost laughable.
I’m still going to give this a “four” because of the good and sacred memories of being scared this gave me so long ago, but it wasn’t the “five” I was anticipating / hoping for. SIGH. Oh well – it least I was scared once. If you’re not familiar with the plot here, in 2015 “we” colonize the moon… although the current administration must not be aware of that…. Anyways, a few decades later “we” send a ship called Event Horizon on a manned mission to the edge of the solar system which goes terribly bad and is considered the worst disaster ever in space history. Now, it’s seven years later and a rescue crew, lead by Lawrence Fishburne, up to and including all of the actors and actresses I’ve tagged this with, is heading to Neptune for some reason they are not briefed on.
Once they are out of their stasis chambers and clothed and sitting around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, Sam Neill explains how the Event Horizon works. “Is the shortest distance from point A to point B a straight line?” He asks the crew using simple words. “No, it’s no line – by folding space and time so that point A and point B are one and the same and the ship just pops through, see?” He then explains that NASA or the USAF lied to the planet Earth (and I suppose the Moon) when they said the ship exploded out by Neptune. It really didn’t – they used the black hole creating, space time folder thing to send the Horizon to the other end of the universe, it disappeared for seven years and now it’s back!
I ♥ Joely Richardson and had to share that pic because she’s in this and I couldn’t find any good ones of her from this movie. Anyway, the ship is back, but they (Neill and Event Horizon Project friends) have broken the laws of physics and something’s wrong with the ship. I don’t think it’s a spolier to mention that, on its’ (or is it her when it it’s a ship??) voyage; it either went to Hell or some other dimension where there is no order and chaos rules and – – – – – – the Horizon is carrying some baggage. All in all, while this didn’t do the same thing for me that it did for me 15 years ago, it was still good and showed what Paul W Anderson had going for him before he became Mr. Resident Evil. I haven’t done a franchise post / posts in a while and I was working on the Wrong Turn Quintology thing until Tyson published his while I was trying to find a copy of Wrong Turn 3 that sorry bastard, so now that’s just sitting there as an unfinished draft. So, I think my next attempt at a multiple movie thing will be the Resident Evils since I have only ever seen the first one. Adieu Event Horizon –