Alexander from CINEMANIAC REVIEWS is not your typical teenager. He runs an EXCELLENT blog over at CINEMANIAC REVIEWS and receives all sorts of positive testimonials to his good work. He also aspires to be the next Roger Ebert and looks to be well on his way. But that’s not the full story. When he’s not typing away at his terminal or watching any manner of movie, he and his mom always seem to be on the run from machines sent back in time who want to terminate their existence. After conquering the movie review kingdom, he plans to lead a team of humans to rebel against the machine overlords and restore mankind to its wonderful glory. Until then, before the machines rise up and try to destroy humanity, if you don’t already, you should check out his site at CINEMANIAC REVIEWS. It’s really good. Recently, we sat down in an underground bunker, in a location that I can’t disclose and talked about these hotter-than-Kate’s-pregnancy questions, while his mom eyeballed me the entire time and twirled a very large knife around in her palm…
Lucky number 13 right here. I hope you all enjoy! As always, I never want to be a bother to anyone, so if anyone else is interested in doing this you can like this page or like THIS PAGE or leave me a comment or send me an email to email@example.com – If you have “expressed” interest and I haven’t gotten back to you, I would never ignore you, it’s just that I want to do these one at a time and do them right – I will be getting back to you, promise : )
THANK YOU ALEXANDER FOR DOING THIS!!!
I gag uncontrollably when I brush my teeth, do you?
No, I do not. (ED: Lucky…)
If your best friend or loved one turned into a shit eating vampire, would you stake them in the heart?
I hate resorting to violence, so no heart-staking. I would, however, wash his or her mouth out so it wouldn’t reek so horribly.
The Shining scared me so bad when I saw it as a kid that I can’t watch it again. Thoughts?
I can see where it would scare you as a kid. I saw it two Octobers ago for the first time (I was fourteen), and certain scenes (i.e. the two girls at the end of the hallway) made me shiver a bit. But it’s a classic, so you kind of need to see it again.
You’re at a bar drinking Brandy with Jesus Christ (whatever your religious affiliation is or is not). What do you ask him?
I wouldn’t be drinking brandy because I’m not 21 and I’m not the stereotypical “stupid adolescent.” (ED: Be careful. You might end up like that guy in (I think) HANG EM HIGH who goes around screaming: “I’m just a poor sinner!!! I have taken the devil into my mouth!!” Please forgive me!!!”)
John Leguizamo. Yes or no?
Worst movie you’ve ever seen? Note: Anything by Uwe Boll is off the table.
A close tie between John Tucker Must Die and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. I was amazed by how awful movies could get. (ED: Those are pretty crappy…)
I have a blog friend who claims she doesn’t eat olives, what do you think about that?
Could you saw your own arm off with a pocket knife if you had to?
No, because I need both hands to type.
If you could adopt an unorthodox pet (no cats or dogs, etc) what would you pick and what would you name him or her? I would pick a Giraffe and name him or her Sgt. Peppers.
I’d adopt a bullfrog and name him…Jeremiah. (ED: Excellent!)
You have to have a clock on your desk (no phones or computers). Do you go digital or analog?
Analog. When I use a digital clock, my mind is always set on, “What time is it? What time is it?”
What are your thoughts on the new trend of hat wearing?
There’s a new trend of hat wearing!? Count me in!
I am not a big fan of big, puffy vests because I don’t understand why you would only want your chest warm in the winter. Please provide your thoughts.
Uh, you need your chest warm, because after all, your heart’s in there.
You walk into someone’s office at work and it’s clear they have just farted, what do you do?
Leave his/her office and come back another time.
Have you ever eaten a Turducken? If so, what did you think?
Sadly, no. But if you take away the turkey and duck, I love fried chicken.
Texting or calling? What is your preferred method of communicating with another human?
Texting. But not while driving. Not in favor of that kind of idiocy. (ED: I HATE people who do that)
and then –
When the wife and I first bought our house, there was a car down the street with a licence plate that read: 8ASNAKE. Have you ever eaten a snake and, if so, what kind and how did that go for you???
No, I have not.
Let’s say you are at some sort of gathering and Bill Murray drunkenly rolls in and challenges you to a fist fight. How do you handle this situation???
Confuse him by quoting his own characters.
You once wrote a White Paper detailing how the ancient Indians built powerful and destructive flying machines called Vimanas that scorched and burned the Middle East, turning it into the desert it is today. How was that received by The European Council on Foreign Relations???
They’d probably think I’m an idiot or a madman.
Have you ever spent time riding in a helicopter, shooting at hordes of the undead with a high caliber rifle????
Uh…no? (ED: Wow – times sure have changed. That’s ALL we used to do back in high school…)
And lastly, have you ever, or known anyone who has, been abducted by a team of aliens in the middle of the night and taken to their U.F.O. for a series of invasive probes????
I think that was the night my parents took me home from the hospital after I was born. (Kidding, of course.)