Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ANNA’S EVE (2004) ONE BITTER, BITTER TOP HAT

ANNA

What the fuck. I’ve been putting this movie off for so long because of that crappy poster and then I thought, well maybe it’s good like ABSENTIA was when it came with shitty cover art. I shouldn’t judge the book by the cover and all of that. Well – I’m here to report to you that this movie is bullshit from the start to the finish. I know that when someone like myself writes those words the question comes up: Hey Dickhead, could you make a better movie? Well – I’m trying to write up a couple. It’s not going very quickly but I’m trying.

A social worker comes across a dead kid in a garbage bag. The kid’s mother has gone missing. Eight months later the social worker starts getting haunted by the dead kid’s mother’s ghost and people around her start getting killed.  From the acting to the delivery to the lighting to the music to the camera work to the effects to everything, this movie totally sucked it. One top hat because these people got their movie made and it wasn’t a repulsive piece of shit like AMERICAN MANIACS.

We set a new standard around here a month or so ago when I reviewed CLOSETS. It goes something like this:

Mary: “What did you watch, should I borrow it???’

Me: “No. Not now. Not ever.”

Mary: “Is it closets bad”?”

For those of you who have been loitering with me for some time, let me tell you that this one is really close.

This movie sucked so bad and you know what, so does this report. Let me get to work on something else to try and get this taste out of my mouth and I’ll try and come back today with something better.

My friend likes to tell me that this thing I do here is a Public Service – warning the public about things that are detrimental to them. Well – yes or no – avoid the fuck out of this terrible piece of shit.

16 comments

  1. I don’t even understand the plot here – like what the plot was – it sounds so terrifically boring. And anything that is “Closets” bad is no good. No good at all. *forks the Evil Eye at Anna’s Eve*

    Like

    • theipc

      LOL!!! Whatever you do, don’t attempt this. You will ask yourself if this is all worth it and may become so despondent that you might not be able to continue.

      Like

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