Isaacs Picture Conclusions

NIGHT TRAIN MURDERS (1975) TWO TOP HATS

Well… I rented this because I thought this was a giallo and it sure wasn’t. 70s Italian horror – yes, giallo no. Aldo Lado – yes, excitement and fun, no. Most of this was actually pretty boring except for a couple of scenes and that haunting shot on the side of the train tracks that I can’t seem to shake. I found this on iTunes with the tile “Night Train Murders” but found it on IMDb as “Last Stop of the Night Train” and billed as one of the most intense movies ever made. Well, I don’t know about that since the first hour of this is pretty boring setting up the characters then something awful happens to the two girls and then there’s STILL thirty more minutes. This kind of went like this: boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring EWWWWWWWWW, WHATNO!!!!!!, OH MAN, WHAT???, there’s still thirty minutes left?? boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, finally. I would suggest giving this a pass on grass unless you’re some sort of Aldo Lado completist, if there is such a thing.

It feels kind of weird to not load this post up with pictures but the pics I found on Google images aren’t very much fun and, the one that seems most prominent is the big EWWWWWWWWWWWWW thing so… check that out if you’re in the mood.  What have we got here? In the beginning two thugs beat up and rob a Santa Claus over the worst theme song in movie history. Then two rich girls get on a train, see. Then the toughs get on the train, see. 45 minutes later one of the bad guys has sex with a random woman in the bathroom, see. Then the train is stopped because of a bomb threat. So the girls hop on another train, as do the punks and the sexually active woman.

So all five of our particles of human existence have now converged on the night train to terror. Bad things are bound to happen to the young virgin and her bestie. Again, you can google image that and see what nature and man have in store for them and it’s not bueno. It is so far from bueno you might not even believe it.  And then there’s thirty more minutes left.

According to Word Press – I initially wrote this on September 17th and right when I was going to publish it GOREGIRL published the exact same thing and, as always, hers was much more flattering to it and was a lot better written. In the spirit of renewal and cleansing and fresh starts, let’s toss this  baby out with the bath water and get it over with. Since I don’t really like this movie or even this write up, I think I’ll plan on posting something else later to try and balance out the negativity here.

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