Well – I always aspire to come back to you, The Good and Most Beloved and Benevolent Reader and proclaim a movie as wonderful and brilliant and excellent and all of that – and I say that I liked MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN – but, IMO, the ending and reasoning behind everything kind of lamed me out. This was definitely one bloody MO-FO, make no mistake, and everything looked really good and all of that jazz, but the whole reason behind everything seemed “reachy” and then the end was – well – not what I was hoping for. Bradley Cooper was pretty good in his role before he became Bradley “I show my abs for money” Cooper (even though there are a couple of ab shots) (and a sex scene), Brooke Shields was all sorts of YUUUUUUUUMMMMM – swoon – Leslie Bibb was a pleasure and my man Vinnie Jones showed some murderous skill butchering dozens of people in gruesome, silent ways.
Aside from the ending scene and the “why is all of this happening” explanation, I also scratched my head at a few things that the story by Clive barker probably explains. Like – how is Jones’ character so goddamn strong?? Or – with the amount of blood and gore going on in that train cab – how did it get cleaned up by the next morning?? Or – with that in mind, how did he never get any blood on his suit?? Or – WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?????
So, yeah. “MMT” is pretty, pretty good and 100% BRUTAL. Cooper plays a photographer who wants to “capture the essence of the city” and sell his work to Brooke Shield’s art house. One night he catches some thugs potentially getting their rape on down in the subway, takes lots of pictures of them, stops the act and shows them to Shields. She loves it and tells him to get some more and she’ll showcase them and, after prowling the city at night, ends up taking some photos of Jones walking around.
What he doesn’t know is that Jones and his suit are busy chopping up people into tiny pieces on the last train out at night. Chopping and pounding and slicing and mincing and ricing and dicing and filleting and shredding and the director sure liked to show some eyeballs not in their sockets. Eventually, Cooper recognizes Jones’ ring in one of his photos and associates him with the report of the missing model he stopped from getting the big R earlier and starts figuring out what’s going on with the Mad Butcher.
I’ll probably leave it at that and suggest you experience this for yourself, if you haven’t already – just be warned that this is extremely violent and brutal and not for the squeamish. It was surprising to see Cooper not flashing his teeth and his loins in every scene and actually doing some acting, seeing Shields as a sexually aggressive – though massively underused – character and Jones chopping people up constantly. I wish it would have ended a little differently but, oh well. Good things, good things. And I will always hearken back to this movie when I attest to you that I will NEVER ride on a subway.