Isaacs Picture Conclusions

HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET (2012) THBTHTBTHTTHBTHTBHTBHTBHTBTH

HOUSEST1

So yeah. I know no one is going to believe me (Tyson) about this – but here’s the thing. I had to take the day off the other day to be home while the chimney people came to fix the back of our chimney. I sat there for a while doing some work while they cleaned everything out and pulled out bricks and such and then I got seriously bored, so I thought I would watch something on TV. I started to watch DEADGIRL, so I could get a review out here, and then I thought to myself, I bet this middle aged dude and this fellow from Mexico might not be too fond of seeing / listening to a couple of guys banging an undead chick so I aborted that and there’s no review to post. I could try and post one from memory only but I usually don’t like to do that.

HOUSEST2

So I started watching LOVELY MOLLY again and then thought, well, wait, these guys might not like those graphic sex scenes so I changed over to THE PACT. But, as fate would have it, Netflix streaming started having some problems and started stopping every three minutes so I was all FUCK IT and picked this up on cable. I can tell you that this was a mistake because this is one of the stupidest mainstream movies I have seen in forever. I mean – hasn’t the market for PG-13 Teen Horror Lite petered out by now???

HOUSEST3

Aside from showcasing Elizabeth Shue (who barely seems to care about this movie) and Katniss’ decolletage, this movie has almost nothing whatsoever to offer. It’s not even mildly frightening or suspenseful, things happen in here that make no sense and have no purpose, no one talks like that and – shit – it was just boring all the way around. I totally should have gone with DREDD.

HOUSEST4

BLAH BLAH BLAH some people get murdered by their daughter. BLAH BLAH BLAH the house next door is dirt cheap. BLAH BLAH BLAH Shue and her kid (Lawrence duh) move in. BLAH BLAH BLAH the son of the murdered family still lives in the house and can pay electric bills with no job. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH she befriends him and they fall in sweet sweet love but for fuck’s sake he’s keeping his brain dead sister locked up in the basement in the nightie she murdered her parents in.

HOUSEST5

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH she gets out one night and wants to kill Katniss. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Katniss finds out about the big secret. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH There’s a big showdown in the laundry room. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

HOUSEST6

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH It’s finally over, thank the gods of the west. Like the times I have submitted something I wrote to some publication or another and it is INSTANTLY rejected, you should reject the thought of taking this on and watch THE PACT instead.

HOUSEST7

P.S. Since I watched this last Wednesday I have seen DREDD and DREDD rocks this movie’s LAME ass!!

39 comments

  1. I do the same!! If there is a builder/workman or whatever in the house, its like I have to find something to watch where they wont think I’m a psycho!! 🙂

    I quite liked this movie by the way, or more specifically I am in love with Jennifer so sat through it for her. Nothing special or surprising about the plot, but better than some of the crap Ive seen.

    Like

  2. davecrewe

    So this is basically just a take on Psycho, except with the tense plotting and capable filmmaking replaced with a lot of “blah blah blah?”

    Like

    • theipc

      LOL – I would say yes – and that’s a good take on this: Boy hiding (X = see: family member) in the basement. Boy likens to (Y). (Y) discovers secret. Include: a butcher knife. And – I guess this is a spoiler: end film with Male reflecting as female. x_x.

      YOU nailed it!

      Like

    • theipc

      lol – NO +_+

      That’s funny, I was just thinking about Madame Weebles on my way home from work. On Thursdays I post interviews – with non standard questions mind you – with good people like you. I was thinking you’d fit in nicely if you wanted… Puppy dog eyes…

      You should check out some of the other ones – if you hover over those interview “tabs” at the top of the page, you can see some of the older ones – they’re pretty fun –

      Lemme know 🙂

      Like

  3. Haaaaaa, I guess the trailer really does tell you everything. That’s another thing that pisses me off. Trailers that do that shit.

    Hell yes, Dredd is bad ass! Not enough people have seen it or recognize that fact of life!

    Like

  4. meeradarjiyr1

    I watched this yesterday! Wow hated it. And ‘Blah’ is exactly the right word to use. I wish I’d never put it on! Still need to write a hate review on it!

    Like

  5. Pingback: A Filmster Quickie: House at the End of the Street | The Filmster

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