Here’s Part 2 of my interview session with Seth over at KLOIPY SPEAKS!!! This was GREAT fun and I thank you a zillion times for all of your effort and wit!! If you missed part one you can find it HERE or you can always hover over the page titles at the top:
I hope you enjoy!!
Here we go!! A new set of questions for the new year and now, if you’re interested, you can pick from the 2012 set or the 2013 set or BOTH! I never want to bother anyone so just let me know if you want to participate!! Like this page or like THIS page or leave me a comment or send me an email to email@example.com. As always, if you’ve expressed interest and I haven’t gotten back to you, I would never ignore you, I am just slow and deliberate and try to do things one at a time and do them right the first time – I PROMISE I will get back to you. All my best – ei.
THANK YOU SETH FOR DOING THIS!!!!
I have never, ever in my life drank frozen margaritas all day and then went to my old place of employment and showered it with raw eggs. Have you ever defaced a public place??
I once destroyed a bathroom at Denny’s but that was due to eating food from Denny’s so I’m not sure if this counts or not.
I also have never, ever in my life spent a night in jail. Have you??
Once my brother got sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, so I spent years of my life figuring out a plan to break him out, including tattooing the entire plan over my body in a series of codes and metaphors, and then we got a show that spiraled down the drain on FOX.
Speaking of things I have never done, I have never in my life spent the day drinking Long Island Ice Teas and thought it would be a good idea to go streaking through a dumpy, old bar. Or a grocery store. Or a Long John Silvers. Or a movie theater. Have you???
I once made naked snow angels, which was not the best idea I’ve ever had. (ED: HAHAHAHAH – awesome!!)
I am deathly afraid of spiders. It has to do with a childhood encounter with a house full of tarantulas. Is there anything that gets you a zillion percent freaked out when you see one and why??
Ticks. You find one tick then you feel like you are covered in them. (ED: Ticks SUCK…)
One time a bunch of friends and I were up in the Ozark Mountains for a wedding. At this local store I bought a jar of “Hot n Spicy Pickled Quail Eggs”. They were probably the most disgusting thing I have ever tried to eat. Ever had any??
Just on New Year’s Eve I had a ‘shooter’ at a sushi restaurant that was made with sea urchin and a raw quail egg as well. It tasted like Satan punched me in the throat with raw eggs.
You walk into someone’s office, cough and accidentally – but loudly – fart. Awkward!! What do you do??
Pretend like someone is calling you and walk away as quickly as possible. Or stand there and force them to appreciate the aroma.
I know I am a hot piece of ass and all, but I don’t get why everyone wants to stand so close to me at grocery stores and Barnes and Noble and such. Are you one of those close standers or do you respect people’s personal space and don’t invade their privacy???
One of my biggest pet peeves is having people stand very close to me. If you don’t understand the rule of personal space, you don’t have a right to be in public. I always feel like someone is breathing on my neck or ready to give me a surprise prostate exam. (ED: I know! WTF people??)
Have you ever crammed yourself into the bottom of a boat or in the back of a moving van and smuggled yourself across some country’s border, effectively becoming an illegal alien????
I lived in Croatia for two years inside an empty milk crate. (ED: This is one of the best answers ever.)
Have you ever ignored a warning from a crazy old man who advised that you were going to die if you went down some road and then you ended up being butchered for dinner at the hands of some lunatic?????
I am that crazy old man.
Let’s say you’re at a warehouse party and, after the band’s second set, you step out to get some fresh air. Someone else is out there and he asks you if you’ve got a light and you turn around and it’s Jesus Christ. How do you react???
I calmly hand him a lighter and move on without giving him a lecture about how smoking is bad for you. That’s cause I’m not a prick.
A few years ago one of the local news stations here did a piece about the Curling Club I was in. I didn’t get any screen time but my shoes did. Have you ever been on the news??
No, I’m not even local famous.
If there was a celebrity that I had to go on record saying that I hated – it would be Dane Cook. Do you have anyone you just detest??? (I hope it’s not me)
That you know of, have you ever been probed by aliens????
One can only hope. (ED: !)
Belly buttons. In or out????
Outie belly buttons freak me out.
Are you old enough to remember when you COULDN’T buy things online?? That’s not the question here though. Sitting in my office now, I am looking at the very first thing I ever bought online – a Green Bay Packer football helmet coffee mug – bought with my first computer in 1995. Do you remember the first thing you ever bought online???
I remember ordering things from magazines, that’s how old I am. I think the first thing I bought off the internet was a They Might Be Giants t-shirt.
Have you ever been the only survivor of a horrible train wreck and, in doing so, discover that you have super powers???
Yes, but the only super power I had was the ability to survive a horrible train wreck once.
Truthfully, have you ever traveled through time and space in a T.A.R.D.I.S.??? If so – who with???
What is a T.A.R.D.I.S.? (ED: : ( No one EVER bites on my Doctor Who questions – am I the ONLY person in the WORLD who likes Doctor Who?????? *WAILS in desperate sadness*)
I read something somewhere that you were the inspiration for the character of Snake Plissken in John Carpenter’s Escape From New York. Can you speak to this???
I’d love to say yes, but I’m not a badass like Snake and Kurt Russell in general is.
I was looking at my blog stats the other day and it seems that – all time – I have 44 search engine referrals for the term “i am cold” which has nothing to do with anything I have ever written about that I know of. What do you think about that???
I have one from someone that says ‘words that sound better than they are’. I’m interested to find out what words these are.
And finally, I am eating some olives while I write this and I just noticed that some of the holes the Pimentos are stuffed in are circles – O – and some look like little stars – * – do you know anything about this???
They are olive buttholes. (ED: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)