My friends – my good, good friends – if you’ve come here to see this Venom:
I’m afraid you’re out of luck. Today we are here to talk about this Venom:
a man returned from the dead, possessed with souls of thirteen evil and heinous, vile human beings who must murder and keep on murdering, gruesomely slaughtering our group of Bayou teenagers in bloody, bloody ways. Our cast is lead by one of my faves:
Agnes Bruckner, seen here previously in THE WOODS and THE PACT. While I didn’t find this as good as either of those two things, I thought it was pretty solid but the ending drew on and on and was kind of tiring. You know – I doubt this is much of a spoiler – the whole, WHEW-THANK-GOD-HE’S-DEAD-NOW-WE-CAN-HAVE-PEACE-OH-SHIT-NO-HE’S-NOT-AAAAAHHHHH-OK-NOW-HE’S-DEAD-WHEW-NO-HE’S-NOT-AAAAAAAAHHHHH-OK-WHEW type of thing. It’s pretty bloody, pretty tense, there’s some effective CGI snakes, Voodoo!! and:
Bijou Phillips!! YAY!! She’s been seen loitering around here in HOSTEL 2 and the IT’S ALIVE remake. I totally ❤ Bijou and she’s terribly only in this for a small amount of time. The plot is pretty simple, an old lady has an old suitcase filled with the souls of evil men. One night, during a wreck on a bridge, the souls are unleashed and enter the body of the local body shop / wrecker guy. He turns into a menacing killer and hunts everyone down one by one, tearing their souls apart!! Oh wait, that’s a different movie!! Isaacs, you silly fucker!!!
Anyway – this is good enough and better than a lot of other things I’ve seen. There’s a scene in the old lady’s house where the cast kind of impressed me with their acting-scared ability and I liked the use of practical blood and not CGI horseshit. I’m sure that’s enough about this – not a bad waste of timer. Is that a phrase? Shit!