Isaacs Picture Conclusions



For today’s reading, I present to you CHERRY TREE LANE – a movie that brings us back to the question of: does an excellent ending make up for an hour’s worth of bullshit? In this case – three thugs bust into a nice, suburban home, bind the couple living there and sit around talking for almost an hour of real-time, waiting for their son to come home from wherever he is. They smoke some dope and watch some TV and eventually one of them goes to the bedroom and has his way with the mom – but that’s all off screen. While he’s doing that, one of the other guys rolls a joint and talks about how much he likes weed.


Eventually – after over an hour of this, some other kids show up and smoke some grass, and then the son comes home. Up to this point the violence had been pretty minimal ~ but brutal ~ but this is when it really ramps up and the last 15 or so minutes are FUCKING GRIM! We can argue and disagree and that’s what makes us all unique but, FUCK, the end of this movie actually had me shaken up. I don’t know if it’s because of what I ate or what, but I actually had some wobbly legs when I finished this and got up to go have a smoke.


Here’s the spoilers – after the son gets home they drag him kicking and screaming up the fucking stairs and we hear a merciless beating and torture going on up in his room. The dad finally panics for good and gets free and wobbles to the bedroom to check on his wife – who we had heard being raped and beaten earlier. He slowly moves to the heap of a body tied to some sort of heating device, buried and crumpled under a rug. You just know that she’s going to be all mangled and bloody and he pulls the rug away and she’s alive and nude and bloody and screaming. That part was really tense for me.


So he grabs a giant flower holder (I think), makes his way upstairs and starts beating these kids over their heads with it. There’s no sappy punch-someone-and-it-makes-a-sound-effect-like-a-firecracker-going-off bullshit. It’s THUNK SCREAM THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD. Some of the kids go off running and get away as the dad makes his way to the son’s room. Then he turns the corner and sees what they’ve done to his kid and the anguish in the actor’s voice was heart breaking and then he bludgeons and bludgeons the ring leader of them all while the mom slowly makes her way into the room. Those shots of her holding and kissing his tortured and bloody body were fucking tough to look at and then we wind down to the actual end that, personally, I really liked.


I don’t normally do “home invasion” movies because, quite frankly, they’re usually pretty realistic and I love my home and my family and I don’t want to think about anything like that ever happening, so movies like this usually hurt my feelings. The only reason I gave this one a shot was because it was done by the director of one of my favorite horror comedies THE COTTAGE –Β Paul Andrew Williams – and I don’t really know what else to say. Boring as hell for most of the film but the end really grabs you by the sack and makes you grit your teeth and wince and go “GOD DAMN!!!

What do you guys think about movies like this? Movies where nothing much happens but the end is a real doozy??


  1. I tried watching this film two years ago. Mainly for the same reason you watched it, because of The Cottage. I did not make it past the first reel. Watching the couple snipe at each other with their barely concealed hatred of each other and what their marriage had become was too much for me. It felt like someone had dredged up my own memories of my last marriage and I turned it off. Great review though mate. πŸ™‚


  2. Meh

    This was pretty dull, and the ending didnt salvage it for me. I also hate the ‘ring leader’, as I did in Eden Lake. I know its meant to be his job to make us hate him, but I just dont find him watchable, and I have no idea how he gets to make movies.

    Stumbled πŸ™‚


  3. I always seem to be able to tough out movies that are dull as hell until the end, holding the hope that something happens. At least something did, right? I never saw this, but from the sounds of it, its a whole lot better than actual movies that just make you watch it and then give you a shitty ending. I usually hate those even more because then its just a let down AND a waste of time. At least with boring movies, I can walk around and multi-task or something. haha!
    Great review! πŸ™‚
    But as a side note, Cherry Tree Lane? Isn’t that making Mary Poppins set in a more dangerous area? Hmm…Wouldn’t happen to be #17, right? πŸ˜‰


    • theipc

      Apparently Cherry Tree Lane is a popular place! Tim (above) lives there! HA!

      That’s a good point – at least there was SOMETHING and it wasn’t just all drivel : )

      Thanks for commenting, Kim!!


  4. I could never watch this movie. I’m glad there are people around who are willing to tell you a movie on your blog, so if you are a weenie like me, you will never accidentally watch a movie like what was described up there in your post.


  5. I don’t like the sound of this one bit. I imagine that nothing much happening for so long was intended to increase the shock when something finally did happen. I have a rule with movies and books: if I get a third of the way through and I don’t like it, I just stop.
    I agree with the fellow above who says it sounds like ‘torture porn’. I can manage to watch violent scenes if they aren’t long and I want them to look real because there’s something wrong with sanitising violence. But extended scenes of violence and torture that are like a vicarious experience of it (i.e. torture porn) I just can’t watch.
    I tried to watch ‘Wolf Creek’ some years ago; I couldn’t and didn’t want to finish watching it and I still have a very ugly image burned into my memory.


    • theipc

      I doubt you would enjoy this at all. Most of the “torture” is off screen but there is some pretty realistic and brutal violence on display. Your EYEBALL should avoid this : )


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  7. GaryLee828

    I actually feel the opposite as you on this one; i thought while the kids were there ruling over the house that was the most tense and suspenseful part – probably b/c I’m watching for the kids to make one little error, while the adults respond and regain the upper-hand. I thought the ending was plain silly – at least what happened w/ the father; what happened with the son was pretty extreme. Overall, not a great film, but is worth a watch.


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