Isaacs Picture Conclusions

ISAACS INTERVIEWS TIM THE FILM GUY (PART 2)

IIMIC_2013

Hello!!! And welcome to another edition of ISAACS INTERVIEWS!! Today I proudly present interview session TWO with Tim who runs the brilliant site TIM’S FILM REVIEWS. (You can read the first HERE). I mean we all know Tim from his film and trailer reviews, but did you know that he was once the most powerful man in the universe?? Yep – mild mannered as a rule, but when the planet of Eternia was threatened by bone faced Skeletor, he’d raise that sword over his head and WIELD THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!!! Recently, we sat down at a local cafe to answer these hotter-than-hamburger-meat questions and, thankfully, Tim was wearing more than a loincloth and codpiece. 

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DAMN, these things are fun and, if you’re interested in participating, you can pick from the 2012 set or the 2013 set or BOTH! On the left of this page, under the beautiful header picture (in a web browser), are links to past interviews, please check them out and fall in sweet, sweet love with past participants!! I never want to bother anyone so just let me know if you want to participate!! Like this page or leave me a comment or send me an email to ei@theipc.meAs always, if you’ve expressed interest and I haven’t gotten back to you, I would never ignore you, I am just slow and deliberate and try to do things one at a time and do them right the first time – I PROMISE I will get back to you. All my best – ei.

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THANK YOU TIM FOR DOING THIS!!!!!

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I have never, ever in my life drank frozen margaritas all day and then went to my old place of employment and showered it with raw eggs. Have you ever defaced a public place??

Actually when I was a kid (not a young goat) I decided I wanted a den or fort or something. So naturally I decided to build one inside of a bush leading into a garden. Not my garden, somebody else’s and essentially invaded their garden to grow my empire. Many years later he still gives that look of ‘There’s that damn kid again’.

I also have never, ever in my life spent a night in jail. Have you??

I have never been caught thankfully for my crimes. Not for a lack of trying on their half mind you.

Speaking of things I have never done, I have never in my life spent the day drinking Long Island Ice Teas and thought it would be a good idea to go streaking through a dumpy, old bar. Or a grocery store. Or a Long John Silvers. Or a movie theater. Have you???

I have not but I do encourage others to. Mainly smoking hot women, and it worked once. (ED: SWEET!)

I am deathly afraid of spiders. It has to do with a childhood encounter with a house full of tarantulas. Is there anything that gets you a zillion percent freaked out when you see one and why??

I used to own a tarantula, red knee to be specific. Bees and wasps make me angry but not afraid (bad sting as a kid). I do have a fear of my head going underwater but I view that as sensible. (ED: GROSS!)

One time a bunch of friends and I were up in the Ozark Mountains for a wedding. At this local store I bought a jar of “Hot n Spicy Pickled Quail Eggs”. They were probably the most disgusting thing I have ever tried to eat. Ever had any??

I have not, but you have peaked my interest.

You walk into someone’s office, cough and accidentally – but loudly – fart. Awkward!! What do you do??

Wink at the nearest girl and then pimp walk out of the room. (ED: EXCELLENT!!)

I know I am a hot piece of ass and all, but I don’t get why everyone wants to stand so close to me at grocery stores and Barnes and Noble and such. Are you one of those close standers or do you respect people’s personal space and don’t invade their privacy???

Yes I do. Actually I was in a queue once and this person was right up against me whilst we were waiting. I just turned around and asked loudly ‘Can I help you?!’ his reaction was worth it and is still my response to it happening. Seriously not going to get you to the front of the line any quicker!

Have you ever crammed yourself into the bottom of a boat or in the back of a moving van and smuggled yourself across some country’s border, effectively becoming an illegal alien????

No they keep finding me somehow!

Have you ever ignored a warning from a crazy old man who advised that you were going to die if you went down some road and then you ended up being butchered for dinner at the hands of some lunatic?????

No but I have been the lunatic in the story.

Let’s say you’re at a warehouse party and, after the band’s second set, you step out to get some fresh air. Someone else is out there and he asks you if you’ve got a light and you turn around and it’s Jesus Christ. How do you react???

Smoking? Jesus really? Disappointing. (ED: *shakes head*)

A few years ago one of the local news stations here did a piece about the Curling Club I was in. I didn’t get any screen time but my shoes did. Have you ever been on the news??

I am like Waldo, if you look close enough I am on all news reports. (ED: AND all of the TV commercials airing in the U.S….)

If there was a celebrity that I had to go on record saying that I hated – it would be Dane Cook. Do you have anyone you just detest??? (I hope it’s not me)

Ha you’re not a celebrity. I would say Ricky Gervais.

That you know of, have you ever been probed by aliens????

Nope. E.T. can keep his glowing finger to himself. (ED: LOL!)

Belly buttons. In or out????

In. Because out makes me think what’s trying to get out?

Are you old enough to remember when you COULDN’T buy things online?? That’s not the question here though. Sitting in my office now, I am looking at the very first thing I ever bought online – a Green Bay Packer football helmet coffee mug – bought with my first computer in 1995.  Do you remember the first thing you ever bought online???

Bottled Air from Mt Everest.

And then….

A few years ago, the wife and I and another couple went on a vacation to San Antonio, Texas. If you’re not familiar, it’s down by the Mexican border so there’s a strong Hispanic influence there. Anyway, one night we went out to eat dinner and this Mariachi band came up and started crooning all over our food. Now that I’ve seen your face on your about page – I RECOGNIZE YOU AS THE GUITAR PLAYER!!! YOU are Il Mariachi!! How do you feel now that you have been exposed???

Ashamed and truly, deeply sorry for what I and my Mariachi brothers did. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us. (ED: I asked the wife and she said you are forgiven : ) )

Tim, I like for my readers to be completely informed. Tell us, have you ever been drawn and quartered and what does it feel like???

I do not believe I have. I believe it feels like having your body cut up into pieces. At a rough guess. (ED: maybe, huh??)

I don’t know where you live it in Britain, but I can only imagine it’s serene and beautiful and you go for long, thoughtful walks in the nearby woods. So, tell me, have you ever come across someone burying a body out in the trees and what did you do?????

I actually live in a small market town which is ridiculously English. I have come across someone burying a body. Luckily it was one of my best friends Craig and so I just helped him out, I should probably find out who that was and why he did it but who has the time? (ED: Who does have the time to investigate a murder…?)

Recently, I was reading some White Paper about the turn of the century and it listed you as “the individual who started the Y2K rumor.” WHY, TIM, WHY????

I am a programmer and you have opened the flood gates!

Y2K wasn’t a rumour! It just wouldn’t have caused as bad a problem as people thought. If people didn’t go around changing the systems to account for the new millennia then all dates would have shown up as 1900 which could cause some mild disruption. Luckily they spotted it and changed most systems before the New Year. Not sure where the rumour about the nukes going off came from but people be crazy!

Lastly – I hear you are a professional writer of Limericks. Would you care to spin us one before you go???

“A programmer started to cuss,

Because getting to sleep was a fuss.

As he lay there in bed,

Looping ’round in his head,

Was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;”

(ED: VERY NICE!! VERY CLEVER!!)

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