Hello and welcome to another thrilling installment of the Interview series! Today’s
victim subject is the other half of HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO, Brad, and for real, if you don’t read them already you HAVE to check out their VILLAIN MADNESS tournament they have going on over there – it’s 100% awesome!!! If you’re not familiar with Brad, to set this up, he was once a research scientist who had a violent accident with a special chemical. Yep – he turned into a giant Thing and went to live in the Swamp. Luckily, he got to make it with Adrienne Barbeau, whose kiss turned him back into a man. I think. Recently Brian, Brad and I sat down in their woodcarving studio, with a peach cobbler, to talk about these hotter-than-OMGREALLYISEMMAWATSONGOINGTODO50SHADESOFGREY-questions.
Damn, these things are fun and, if you’re interested in participating, you can pick from the 2012 set or the 2013 set or BOTH! On the left of this page, under the beautiful header picture (in a web browser), are links to past interviews, please check them out and fall in sweet, sweet love with past participants!! I never want to bother anyone so just let me know if you want to participate!! Like this page or like THIS page or leave me a comment or send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. As always, if you’ve expressed interest and I haven’t gotten back to you, I would never ignore you, I am just slow and deliberate and try to do things one at a time and do them right the first time – I PROMISE I will get back to you. All my best – ei.
THANK YOU BRAD FOR DOING THIS!!!!
I gag uncontrollably when I brush my teeth, do you?
I used to have that problem too but I now only use ONE toothbrush to brush my teeth. Its a lot harder with two. (ED: Sound logic!!)
If your best friend or loved one turned into a shit eating vampire, would you stake them in the heart?
A shit eating vampire? I’m not sure if that’s worse than an actual blood feasting kind. Yeah, I guess there’s no choice than to stake ‘em.
The Shining scared me so bad when I saw it as a kid that I can’t watch it again. Thoughts?
Was it the creepy twin girls? Or the naked old lady in the tub? Or was it simply Shelley Duvall? All good reasons to be frightened. I don’t blame you for never seeing it again. (ED:……………….Duvall………..)
You’re at a bar drinking Brandy with Jesus Christ (whatever your religious affiliation is or is not). What do you ask him?
Hey man, can you pass the pretzels?
John Leguizamo. Yes or no?
He’s my favorite Leguizamo.
Worst movie you’ve ever seen? Note: Anything by Uwe Boll is off the table.
The worst movie I’ve seen is probably Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. I won’t even get into how much of a movie this movie IS NOT.
I have a blog friend who claims she doesn’t eat olives, what do you think about that?
Sounds like someone has deep “daddy issues” to me.
Could you saw your own arm off with a pocket knife if you had to?
I’ve had jobs in the past that I was very close to cutting off my own arm to get out, so in a life or death scenario I can easily saw off an arm or a leg, sure.
If you could adopt an unorthodox pet (no cats or dogs, etc) what would you pick and what would you name him or her? I would pick a Giraffe and name him or her Sgt. Peppers.
Well since Mogwai’s are now extinct, I’d say Wallaby. It would be awesome to have a mini-kangaroo hopping all over the backyard. If I had one I would name him: Lance Stargrove. (ED: STARGROVE!!!)
You have to have a clock on your desk (no phones or computers). Do you go digital or analog?
Analog is just waaaaay too much work sometimes.
What are your thoughts on the new trend of hat wearing?
I think its fantastic and I can’t wait for my sombrero to arrive in the mail.
I am not a big fan of big, puffy vests because I don’t understand why you would only want your chest warm in the winter. Please provide your thoughts.
You know what’s great about the puffy winter vests? I really like it when girls wear them. For some odd reason, it’s attractive to see a good-looking gal wearing a life preserver.
You walk into someone’s office at work and it’s clear they have just farted, what do you do?
Have you ever eaten a Turducken? If so, what did you think?
No, but my father was an avid hunter and there was a bust of a Turducken hanging on the wall of our den.
Texting or calling? What is your preferred method of communicating with another human?
I text more nowadays however I usually call that person right away and read them my text that I just sent. (ED: LOL)
and then ~
I went through a period where I collected vinyl LPs. I ran out of money very quickly so I stopped but, last night I fired up Dr. Hook’s 1977 classic “Makin’ Love and Music” and checked out the liner notes while I sat by a roaring fire, in my robe. It seems that you were one of the sound operators for this!!!! Why haven’t you ever mentioned this to us before??? What was it like working with Dennis Locorriere?????
Back in my time-traveling days I did in fact go back to the 70s and moonlighted as a sound operator. I never mentioned it because there’s not too much to tell. Mr. Locorriere was notorious for extreme odd working conditions. He made recording very difficult with the unorthodox black magick rituals during the sessions, and refused to actually communicate directly to the recording staff at the studio. So essentially I never met him nor spoke to him. Everything was done with crudely written notes passed between the musicians and the studio personnel. (ED: Interesting..)
While we’re on the topic of vinyl LPs, how often do you and Brad (or Brian, whoever goes second) get your Goth on and head out into the streets of New Jersey and prey on the souls of the living???
My Goth days are long gone since those upstart Twi-Hards started rearing their ugly mugs around the local malls’ Hot Topics. However, on the occasional Saturday evening I will venture out and improve my Peeping Tom skills.
When I was single I NEVER EVER NEVER EVER EVER went to seedy strip clubs with my friends and spent my entire paycheck getting lap dances from – wait… what? I recently finished reading your profound and titillating memoir: BRIAN (or Brad) THE LIFE OF A POLE DANCER where you exposed the dirty, greasy underbelly of the stripping profession. Right now I am reflecting on that chapter titled: “KITTEN’S GOT CLAWS”. You were very vague and resolute in not name dropping, but I read into it that the kitten in question was Tiger Woods. Yes or no????
I can neither confirm nor deny that it was golf superstar Tiger Woods. All I can say is that the “dancer” in question looked very much like him. I’m not even 100% accurate of the actual gender of the dancer for whom I’m referring to. The best we can do is just drop the issue altogether. (ED: This is a COVER UP!!!)
Tell me, and be honest since this is for posterity, what are your thoughts on the Left Guillemet – or the « symbol???
I waver between my true affections for the Ampersand “&” and the em-dash “—” but I gotta admit the Guillemet is very sexy. (ED: *nods*)
Lastly, for this installment, can you tell our readers, are you a C.H.U.D. or a Garbage Pail Kid????
My mother was born a Garbage Pail Kid and my father is a C.H.U.D. so I can proudly say I’m both a C.H.U.D. and a GPK.