Isaacs Picture Conclusions

MOVIE JAIL RELAY RACE

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Thanks so much to Misty over at CINEMA SCHMINEMA for passing me the baton in the Movie Jail Relay Race!  The Movie Jail Relay Race was started by Nostra from My Filmviews  and Terrence from The Focused Filmographer.  Now the official rules are as follows:

”It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years. The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:

In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things

1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff

2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.

There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.”

Current Inmates are:

Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

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Katherine Heigl

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Shia Labeouf

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Jennifer Lopez

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Damon Lindelof

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Rueben Fleischer

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Paul W.S. Anderson

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James Spader

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LINDSAY LOHAN

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JOSS WHEDON

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The Participants (so far):

1. My Filmviews / The Focused Filmographer

2. Cinematic Corner

3. And So It Begins…

4. Surrender to the Void

5. Cinematic Paradox

6. The Cinematic Spectacle

7. Being Norma Jean

8. Defiant Success

9. …let’s be splendid about this

10. Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions

11. Aziza’s Picks

12. Flixchatter

13. i luv cinema

14. Public Transportation Snob

15. The Warning Sign

16. 3 Guys 1 Movie

17. Cutting Edge Creativity

18. BLANK PAGE BEATDOWN

19. Morally Oblogatory

20. Knights of Mars Roundtable

21. Head In A Vice

 22. MikesFilmTalk

23. Cinema Schminema

24. Isaacs Picture Conclusions

Who’s getting let out? I don’t see any reason why this man has to suffer any longer for a slight misdemeanor:

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JOSS WHEDON

I mean, all he did was float a stop sign, for Christ’s sake!! I mean the guy co-wrote CABIN IN THE WOODS which was one of my favorite movies last year.  Come on! Firefly?? SERENITY anyone?? And – what??? I LOVED THE AVENGERS!! (In all honesty, the only thing I DIDN’T like about THE AVENGERS was the new take on Captain America’s mask, but oh well). I can’t even wait for the next one, so let’s let him out and get him back on that set!

Now that that business is over, let’s get on with what I hope will be a long, long, long stint in the joint for this douche:

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DANE COOK

Doesn’t he look pretty with his prison tattoos?? First – I have NEVER thought his shit was funny!! NEVER!! Then they go and put him in the movies??? In GOOD LUCK CHUCK he gets to bang Jessica Alba??? I don’t think so!! And what the FUCK is up with those goddammed hand gestures?? What the fuck?? PUKE. I sentence him to a lifetime behind rusty bars for his crimes against humanity!!

Now I get to pass the judge’s robe to someone. So – in true IPC fashion, I soiled it real good and send it over to BRIAN @ HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO! Be sure to check out who he decides to loose!!  (Did you see how I used the word “loose” correctly?) THANKS MISTY!!! (P.S. Misty – LOVE those bars you made!! For reals!)

48 comments

  1. WOW, I didn’t even realize Whedon is in jail! Glad you rescued him as he didn’t really belong there. But Dan Cook, yeah lock him up. I haven’t seen him in anything of late though, thankfully.

    Like

    • theipc

      I thought he was out of my life forever and then the wife watched a trailer for some new cartoon movie coming out this summer and he’s the lead!!! AAAARRGGGHHHH!!!

      Thanks for reading!!!

      Like

      • Oy, that’s too bad. Well if it’s a cartoon then he’d only be the voice right? Yeah, that guy has no business in the acting industry!

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      • theipc

        Well – the drawback to “only voice” is that now he’s out doing promo work and I have to see his mug too….!

        *wails in despair*

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    • theipc

      If someone that I know and like releases him quickly – there could be hell to pay…. HELL IS COMING WITH ME!!!! HELL IS COMING WITH ME!!!!

      Like

  2. Agreed, Whedon doesn’t deserve to be in the mix of such as Lindsay and Shia! Camon, there’s more talent in that man than some of the others in jail combined,, Among these choices, indeed, I would have gone with the same one but it’s difficult now as all the bad ones are behind bars and it’s a challenge to find the logic in letting them out.
    Cook – well, it’s a movie jail relay and I wouldn’t really call him movie-material in the first place. Still, nice choice!

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  3. Pingback: Movie Jail “Relay Race” | Hard Ticket to Home Video

  4. Hahahaha, I have the worst bars ever, I know. *giggles* And I’m find with you immediately letting Joss out but I shall probably never forgive him for the atrocity, the pure pile of vomit that was The Avengers. :-p

    Like

    • theipc

      Thanks SO much!! I’ve been crazy ass busy lately (most of these posts I’ve been able to put out were written weeks ago when I had more free time : ) ) so I’ll get to this as soon as I can!

      Like

    • theipc

      I think you just let someone know you’re interested – like I sent this to Brian and he sent to FilmHipster – maybe you drop him a note that you’re interested : )

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  5. I wasn’t crazy about Cabin in the Woods but I loved Avengers. I hope the guys behind X-Men Days of Future Past took note on how to balance all the characters out the way Joss was able too. And if the WB ever proceeds with a Justice League movie the bar has been set high. Although I am very skeptical about a Justice League movie in general. Great read.

    Like

    • theipc

      Thank you sir – I’d be in for a Justice League movie – as long as it has Dr. Fate : )

      And yes – I’ll go fix up your link here in a little bit!

      Like

      • Thanks!

        I never felt that Batman fit in the same world as Superman and Justice League fighting aliens and traveling to other dimensions. I like certain crossovers like when Batman fought Superman in Hush but in the end I think Batman should be fighting villians who are criminally insane. I don’t see how they can translate a Batman in a Justice League movie. I’m pessimistic about that.

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