This is 99% a horror site (mostly bad horror lol) but occasionally other things will slip in as – I want to write about everything I watch so, in most cases, you don’t have to watch some shitty bullshit – or at least you can make an informed decision about whether or not to pull that trigger. So why is this DRAMA out here today??? Well like I’ve said in the past, most of the things I get in the mail were fueled by beer buzzed adventures through Netflix, mostly through the “people who liked this movie also liked: ” thing and I usually forget what I’ve ordered until they show up.
I remember reading about this when it came out and the local newspaper guy gushed and mushed about it for ten paragraphs about how good Elizabeth Olsen was and how this was a big game changer for John Hawkes (who I’ve liked ever since FROM DUSK TIL DAWN and Deadwood) so I remember I wanted to see it but never did. Then one night I got Properly Buzzed on beer and ordered it up and now I’ve watched it the only thing I can really say is:
Mz. Olsen does some fine acting, I suppose, if you want to imagine her moping around with moony eyes for an hour and a half. I have nothing against her whatsoever (and I think she’s cute) but – I don’t know – *shrugs*. That picture above – at one point in the movie she’s taking a nap on the floor, by the bed, and she pisses herself. That didn’t make a lot of sense to me but cults don’t make much sense to me either. But a lot of things don’t make much sense to me. I watched the movie COMPLIANCE a couple of months ago and I haven’t been able to write something about it because allegedly it’s a true story and I don’t want to seem insensitive to the victims but – WHAT THE FUCK?? Use your brains.
I don’t know if people are sensitive to me other than my wife, but I have been eating this ANTIPASTO for breakfast, eating it out of the jar, mind you, and I was just digging some carrots out of the bottom of the jug and I coughed and spilled the oily shit all over my crotch so now it’s going to look like I pissed my pants all goddamn day!!!
Do you remember this? Told very non linearly, Olsen joins a cult – uh “lead”? – by Hawkes. At the beginning of the movie, she actually leaves the cult and gets something to eat and calls her sister, the strangely attractive Sarah Paulson, who picks her up and takes her home like a stray puppy. At home, Olsen says things like “Is it true married people never fuck?” and jumps in the lake naked and just kind of mopes around. The story of her cult life it told through flashbacks and eventually we get a scene where something slightly exciting happens and that’s the reason she decided to leave the Cult of Hawkes in the first place (I think). By that time I didn’t really care very much and I can now proudly announce that: IT ONLY TOOK ME FIFTY MILLION TRIES BUT I AM NOW 100% THREE STARS ON EVERY SINGLE LEVEL OF ANGRY BIRDS “CLASSIC” AND RIO.
I mostly see Paulson in things like American Horror Story and the like but look at this picture: isn’t she a pretty duckling when she smiles? Hey look at this – I totally forgot she was in Deadwood! I plan on watching all of those again if I can ever get a hold of the first disc. Have a good weekend everyone!!! THANKS A MILLION FOR READING!!!