Isaacs Picture Conclusions

STAKE LAND (2010) THREE MAYBE FOUR TOP HATS

STAKE1

* No interview today – mainly because I’ve been lazy very busy lately*

I’ve been putting this movie off for a long time until a couple of my favorite bloggers wrote about how much they liked it. I finally got around to it and I was originally going to title this with a “ONE TOP HAT” and really singe Tyson’s pubes to get him yelling at me but I changed my mind and went with what I did.

TYSON’S STAKE LAND

ISSY’S STAKE LAND

Let’s get this out of the way and then get into the particulars below – this movie looked very, very good and (something I rarely pay attention too) the musical score was excellent, and after it was all over and done, sure I liked it, but…

STAKE2

I hated every single piece of line delivery in this thing. Not the script – the actual talking. I hated the lead tough guy’s growling, the kid and his voiceover storytelling, the sounds that came out of the vampire’s throats, the bad guy’s voice, etc. If this had not had any speaking I would probably have loved it. I couldn’t tell if everything was dubbed in later or what but it really grated my nerves.

STAKE3

Aside from that unfortunate business (and the fact that these vampires are louder than an airplane) this movie was pretty good. The sets and the camera work and the story and the score and the gore and and the make-up effects and Danielle Harris – all quite good. It might take itself a little too seriously and could probably use a little fun up in there but, you know, it’s not too bad – for free.

STAKE4

What’s the story, morning glory? UHHHHH – the world economy and governments collapsed and, to add to that bullshit, then vampires came around, killing everyone. The story here follows a gruff vampire killer and a kid as they try to make it to Canada where they *waves hands in the air* use the “Metric System” and go around telling temperature in “Celsius” and selling gas in “litres” like the Queen of Sheba *calms down*. Apparently Canada is this film’s “New Eden” and if they can make it there, things should be safe. But first they have to deal with shit eating vampires and a rebel army called The New Brotherhood (or something). Will they make it?? Will they find eternal happiness and peace? Will they ever wear neckties again?? Will Kelly McGillis make it with Maverick????? All this and more to be found in viewing Stake Land!

STAKE5

19 comments

  1. Pingback: Oblivion, the Lammy Awards and a little Filth | filmhipster

  2. Wordschat

    I got news for ya, I was in grade six when the metric system was forced on us because some egg head thought the U.S. would pick it up which of course they never did. Except for the Celsius which makes sense, I still do the rest in Imperial. Now if people would only learn 24hr time which us techies live by. As for Stake Land, yes Tyson recommended it and I concur it was one of the best zombie features I’ve seen. I think I wrote a review. Been so busy work wise lately just vegging after work with reality TV and Netflixing. Check my reviews via Flixter too as I’m adding quickies to the showtime listings.

    Like

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