Surely you know the man…. he’s been gracing our screens and hanging out in the shadows and our nightmares since 1978… it’s none other than Michael Myers (also known as The Shape). Not too long ago I saved up some money and sent Scrotey out to Illinois (with three pre-paid camera phones) to interview the fellow. I haven’t heard from him ever since but, last month, I received a floppy disc in the mail from an unknown sender. It took me a few weeks to find somewhere where I could actually USE a fucking floppy disc but I found one and the following is a transcript of the “interview”. Poor Scrotey!!!
(I am transcribing this from the audio, with Scrotey’s pictures, with no edits)
SCROTEY: Eric… Eric…. I see him!!! He’s over in the bushes!!! Mr. Myers!!! Mr. Myers!!! Do you have a second??? Michael!!!
SCROTEY: Eric. I think I got him to stop for a second. Hang on.
SCROTEY: Michael! Mr. Myers! Hey! (heavy breathing) Michael! Oh hey. It sure is a pleasure to finally meet you!!! (heavy breathing) Hey. Say, do you have a few minutes to talk with me?
SCROTEY: Fuck! He went in the house. Let me see if I can get ahead of him (sounds of running)
(doors opening and shutting)
SCROTEY: I hear him upstairs. Hang on.
SCROTEY: Oh shit! He’s coming down here.
SCROTEY: Michael!! Hey!! Why do you go around killing everyone?? Is it daddy issues?? Is it your tiny weenie???
SCROTEY: Fuck, now he’s going back upstairs… god damn…
(sounds of footsteps on stairs)
SCROTEY: Hey!! Fuck!! I didn’t mean anything by it!!
(sound of a zipper)
Look!! I’ve got a tiny one too!! It’s like an olive!! SEE????
SCROTEY: See?? It’s a helmet in the bush….
SCROTEY: HEH HEH…
SCROTEY: See… it’s just a little pee pee….
SCROTEY: Boy, the cat’s really got your tongue today huh…?
SCROTEY: So…um… yeah…
SCROTEY: I… um… about Laurie Strode… you know, did you ever catch her naked? OH FUCK!!!!
Here the sound of Scrotey’s voice is cut off and this is the last image on the disc.
Poor Scrotey, but there you have it! An interview with the ultimate killing machine… in the flesh!!! Quality!! Value!!
*NOTE: This entry is not eligible for the big prize*