Isaacs Picture Conclusions

A SHITFEST 2013 SUPPLEMENT! AN INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL MYERS!

shitfest-2013 banner

Surely you know the man…. he’s been gracing our screens and hanging out in the shadows and our nightmares since 1978… it’s none other than Michael Myers (also known as The Shape). Not too long ago I saved up some money and sent Scrotey out to Illinois (with three pre-paid camera phones) to interview the fellow. I haven’t heard from him ever since but, last month, I received a floppy disc in the mail from an unknown sender. It took me a few weeks to find somewhere where I could actually USE a fucking floppy disc but I found one and the following is a transcript of the “interview”. Poor Scrotey!!!

(I am transcribing this from the audio, with Scrotey’s pictures, with no edits)

MM4

SCROTEY: Eric… Eric…. I see him!!! He’s over in the bushes!!! Mr. Myers!!! Mr. Myers!!! Do you have a second??? Michael!!!

MM5

SCROTEY: Eric. I think I got him to stop for a second. Hang on.

(pause)

SCROTEY: Michael! Mr. Myers! Hey! (heavy breathing) Michael! Oh hey. It sure is a pleasure to finally meet you!!! (heavy breathing) Hey. Say, do you have a few minutes to talk with me?

(pause)

SCROTEY: Fuck! He went in the house. Let me see if I can get ahead of him (sounds of running)

MM1

(doors opening and shutting)

SCROTEY: I hear him upstairs. Hang on.

(pause)

SCROTEY: Oh shit! He’s coming down here.

(pause)

SCROTEY: Michael!! Hey!! Why do you go around killing everyone?? Is it daddy issues?? Is it your tiny weenie???

(pause)

MM10

SCROTEY: Fuck, now he’s going back upstairs… god damn…

MM7

(sounds of footsteps on stairs)

SCROTEY: Hey!! Fuck!! I didn’t mean anything by it!!

(sound of a zipper)

Look!! I’ve got a tiny one too!! It’s like an olive!! SEE????

(pause)

MM3

(awkward silence)

SCROTEY: See?? It’s a helmet in the bush….

SCROTEY: HEH HEH…

(silence)

MM8

SCROTEY: See… it’s just a little pee pee….

(silence)

SCROTEY: Boy, the cat’s really got your tongue today huh…?

(pause)

SCROTEY: So…um… yeah…

Toronto Star Archive

SCROTEY: I… um… about Laurie Strode… you know, did you ever catch her naked? OH FUCK!!!!

MM9

Here the sound of Scrotey’s voice is cut off and this is the last image on the disc.

Poor Scrotey, but there you have it! An interview with the ultimate killing machine… in the flesh!!! Quality!! Value!!

*NOTE: This entry is not eligible for the big prize*

24 comments

    • theipc

      If Scrotey made it to The Clouds, he would totally be making it with his tiny pee pee right now!! Probably constantly!!

      Boat Drinks!

      Like

      • Nothing wrong with playing with your pee-pee on a constant basis. If I make it to the pearly gates, that’ll be a non-negotiable for me. Where I go, my pee-pee goes with me. šŸ˜‰

        Boat Drinks!

        Like

  1. GaryLee828

    Damn it, now I’ll never know how that story ends with the gal he met on the street last week! I mean after she ran away – and he started stalking her.

    Like

      • GaryLee828

        Normally I’d agree, but I have a bad feeling about this. I think Michael Myers may have done him in. I just wish you hadn’t sent him out on assignment! You will do ANYTHING for shiftiest, even if it endangers your best friend’s life!!

        Like

      • theipc

        LOL

        Scrotey doesn’t go down that easy… I’ve jumped off a diving board onto his nuts (on accident) and I’ve hit him in the face with a canoe paddle (on accident) but he proves very resilient… : )

        Plus he has lost more antics to provide on The Blogger’s Cut…

        Like

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