Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 11: WICKED LAKE (2008)

shitfest-2013 banner

Entry by: Yours Truly

*There’s a boob below*

WICKEDLAKE1

(Remember – I want to post something every day this month and since I don’t get a ton of traffic on the weekends, this is were I’ll post my entries. That way YOUR work can get all of the attention : ) )

This movie was supposed to be about four hot chicks who go to a lake and get it on with each other and then are harassed by two different groups of men who want to have their way with them until they turn into witches  and extract their revenge. That sounded promising and the movie even opened with a naked female model in an art class. Things very quickly started going sour when we are introduced to a shy, whimpering ignoramus with Weird Al hair, wearing a frilly, pink frock who imagines the girl grabbing her crotch and saying “That’s right – it’s just like mommy said, full of razors!!”, to which he freaks out, grabs his stuff and leaves.

WICKEDLAKE4

A little later, the model exits the building, fires up a doob on the front steps and there he is, waiting for her. He walks her home, gives her his rendering of her – a unicorn jumping over a rainbow and asks if he can grab her boob. She loves the drawing, yanks out her tit and then her roommate opens the door – so he runs off crying.

WICKEDLAKE6

At home, his two brothers berate him for being such a puss, so one of them makes him sit on his lap and give him a kiss on the mouth, then bites his lip, so he runs off crying again. He returns a few minutes later in a pink tee shirt and some whitey tighties followed by an invalid in a wheelchair who farts and poops himself.

WICKEDLAKE2

Cut to the four chicks driving down some road, smoking weed and kissing each other all over. I’ll only briefly mention the dude beating off in the gas station, the skinny dipping, a giant black dildo and then POOF, the four brothers and the crippled guy show up at their door with a knife. The nude model notices the Weird Al guy’s lip bleeding, so she sucks on it while the brother threatens to throw the knife at the other girls… OH SHIT HOW SCARY!!!! Knife guy knocks his brother down and he vomits, so he makes one of the girls mop it up with her shirt, while she un-effectively moans and cries.

WICKEDLAKE5

I can’t even explain how bad the acting is from everyone involved, but at this point I had made the decision that it was time to put Wicked Lake away forever. I finger-dragged my video to further in the movie and discovered the four girls, covered in blood,  on top of the biter, shoving the dildo down his throat and giving him a lecture on “guilt”. On my way to clicking the “DONE” button, I stopped and witnessed some dude getting his crotch shot off by his buddy. Mercifully, after that, I was through.

32 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: