Directed by D’Urville Martin
Starring Rudy Ray Moore as Dolemite – and D’Urville Martin as Willie Green
On the opening frame we see a couple black dudes in a jail cell and a guard enters with an important message for our wrongfully-imprisoned hero Dolemite, “Okay Dolemite, the warden wants to see you”. Dolemite turns from his top bunk with a constipated look and gruffly says, “Oh shit! What the hell does that rat-soup eating motherfucker want with me!?”
He then hops off the bunk and the guard says, “Come on out of there, we ain’t got all day” in which I found a bit confusing considering the fact Dolemite was dropping from his bunk and proceeding towards the door. Just how fast did the guard want him to go? He’s in an 8-foot cell. Just how much time is he going to save by sprinting?
As the guard leads Dolemite out of the cell and they proceed to hit the walkway their heads are cut out of the frame by some giant black bar at the top of the screen. Just as they cross the walkway the camera remains with the same shot of the cell from afar and then the guard closes another door and as he does so his hand covers the entire shot and now all we see is his giant hand covering the screen. We can already tell the directing is top notch here!
And then we cut to the guard escorting Dolemite into the Warden’s office…and well…
Let’s watch the remaining of the opening sequence. Here’s a clip for your viewing pleasure which will hopefully persuade you to consider making this “2013 Shitfest Champion”.
And in case you wondering…no…it doesn’t get any better; in fact, one should be impressed with just how consistently shitty this film really is from beginning to end. From the shitty choreography and stunts – to the shitty dialogue – to the shitty acting that sounds like they’re reading from cue cards. This film has it all!