Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 17: DOLEMITE (1975)

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Entry by: WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY

DOLEMITE1

DOLEMITE (1975)

Directed by D’Urville Martin

Starring Rudy Ray Moore as Dolemite – and D’Urville Martin as Willie Green

On the opening frame we see a couple black dudes in a jail cell and a guard enters with an important message for our wrongfully-imprisoned hero Dolemite, “Okay Dolemite, the warden wants to see you”. Dolemite turns from his top bunk with a constipated look and gruffly says, “Oh shit! What the hell does that rat-soup eating motherfucker want with me!?”

He then hops off the bunk and the guard says, “Come on out of there, we ain’t got all day” in which I found a bit confusing considering the fact Dolemite was dropping from his bunk and proceeding towards the door. Just how fast did the guard want him to go? He’s in an 8-foot cell. Just how much time is he going to save by sprinting?

As the guard leads Dolemite out of the cell and they proceed to hit the walkway their heads are cut out of the frame by some giant black bar at the top of the screen. Just as they cross the walkway the camera remains with the same shot of the cell from afar and then the guard closes another door and as he does so his hand covers the entire shot and now all we see is his giant hand covering the screen. We can already tell the directing is top notch here!

And then we cut to the guard escorting Dolemite into the Warden’s office…and well…

Let’s watch the remaining of the opening sequence. Here’s a clip for your viewing pleasure which will hopefully persuade you to consider making this “2013 Shitfest Champion”.

And in case you wondering…no…it doesn’t get any better; in fact, one should be impressed with just how consistently shitty this film really is from beginning to end. From the shitty choreography and stunts – to the shitty dialogue – to the shitty acting that sounds like they’re reading from cue cards. This film has it all!

I highly recommend you checking out this entire film if you can find a copy. You have to watch so you can meet Dolemite’s sweet-talking sidekick “The Hamburger Pimp” who is almost as shitty an actor as Dolemite.
And yes, the “Hamburger Pimp” is a real character.

41 comments

    • theipc

      I’ve never seen it but read nothing but good things about it – so I was surprised by this entry but I have been surprised by a few of these SHITFEST entries….

      I think we have something even more surprising coming out next week…..

      Like

      • GaryLee828

        @Eric, if you read good things about “Dolemite”, the writer could have been referring to Dolemite as a comedian and not this movie. Did you see his “karate” kick? lol.

        Like

    • GaryLee828

      @Cinemablog, With a Friend Like Gary is a reference of french thriller “With a Friend Like Harry” which is the pic on my header. WAFLH is a pretty awkward movie! lol. I’m glad you, and so many others on here like Dolemite. πŸ™‚

      Like

      • GaryLee828

        Oh, I know you were joking, but I just wanted to spread a little info. on “With A Friend Like Harry” b/c so few people have even heard of it. Also, I think the title of my blog is quite clever, but hardly anyone gets the reference. lol.

        Not sure what I said to make you think I was shouting. Did you think the WAFLH was me yelling? WAFLH was an abbreviation for “With A Friend Like Harry”. I was saying WAFLH (With A Friend Like Harry) was a pretty awkward movie. The pics on my blog header and my Gravatar are stills from the movie where Harry is acting crazy. Then I closed with “Glad you and so many others like Dolemite.”

        No yelling, or belittling. But if you don’t watch it, I may give you a Dolemite kick! πŸ™‚

        Like

    • GaryLee828

      It is hilarious and awesome; it’s also shitty! πŸ™‚ This is a film loaded with quotes, though. I wish the opening frame with Dolemite in the jail cell was available on youtube. lol.

      Like

      • Wages of Sin?? Is it about Southern Baptists? It has to be about Southern Baptists with that title. *shudders* Repressed memories trying to push their way back into my mind…

        Also that email thing you, Tyty and Chris had going on that showed up in my inbox was hilarious.

        Like

      • Was there an exorcism attempt of a teenage girl? If so, you just watched the story of my upbringing. No, seriously, people at my church attempted what amounted to a mini-exorcism on me.

        Like

      • theipc

        OMG really?????

        No this has something to do with some ghost pastor and how people will by crucified if they fornicate… i haven’t been able to finish it it sucks so bad…. but I will…. FOR SHITFEST!!!

        Like

      • *giggles* You ever tried being a 16 year old Wiccan in an extremely small town in the middle of the Bible belt? I’m lucky THEY didn’t crucify me. πŸ˜‰

        Like

      • theipc

        Well – I’ve been a 16 year old living in the middle of the Bible Belt who didn’t quite get what everyone was going on and on and on about every Sunday but not a Wiccan : )

        Like

      • I went to the Dolomites last year. Nice place. A lot more tolerable than the movie with a similar name. I guess it’s so bad it’s good, right? Exploitation movie gold!

        Like

      • theipc

        I’ve never seen it but only heard good things about it until this entry was submitted….

        I still think I’ll give it a shot : ) I like those types of movies…

        Like

    • GaryLee828

      Every time I see a mountain now I always think of “Napolean Dynamite” and Uncle Rico throwing a football over a mountain. LOL.

      Like

  1. The Hamburger Pimp sounds like some sort of adult happy meal toy… it’d be awesome if there was a whole set that you could collect. Like Hamburger Pimp plus his friends French Fry Hooker, The Milkshake Skid, and The Jive Turkey Chicken McNugget Clan!

    Like

    • GaryLee828

      Smash, you seem like a woman who would like to meet the Hamburger Pimp. Here, I’ll introduce you – and I especially like the sound mic. in the bottom right corner – and then at the 30 second mark you can actually see the guy holding the mic.! LOL.

      Enjoy! πŸ™‚

      Like

      • OMG Gary, you should win for sure!!! I’m not on the panel to judge and vote, but if I was, you would win based solely on this clip. Not only is the movie complete shit and the production value non-existent, but The Hamburger Pimp is the shittiest character of all time (in the best/shittiest way possible)!! I say this all the time, but this time I think it’s true… I’m actually going to die of laughter.

        Like

  2. When I was a young ‘un, my grandad drove a turd-brown Triumph Dolemite. For that reason alone I cannot class this movie as shit. Never mind the fact that is both jive-ass and high class. Ya dig?

    Like

    • GaryLee828

      You need to re-watch the fight scene on this video. Anyone notice how the cop says “Get behind the tree!” before Dolemite walks out of the house? lol. And then Dolemite’s weak karate kick that catapults that guy to the trunk of the car. lol. I do like the movie a lot, but not b/c it’s good, but b/c it’s fun to laugh at.

      I wonder who would win a fight between Dolemite vs. Dwight Shrute!

      Like

  3. If this was the UNINTENTIONALLY AWESOME BECAUSE THEY’RE SO SHITTYFEST, Dolemite would be a strong contender for the porcelain crown, but its definitely not the Shitfest winner. I had too much fun laughing through that entire clip.

    Like

    • GaryLee828

      The whole movie is fun; you need to see the scene where Dolemite is released from prison and as he’s being picked up in a limo by like 5 ladies and before he gets in his limo he is like, “Did you bring me my clothes?” and they hand him his clothes and he starts stripping down from the suit the prison gave him and then he throws the clothes at the guard and is like “Take these cheap MF’ers and WIPE YO ASS WIT’EM!” and the guard catches the clothes and says, “Oh no, Dolemite, we’ll save them. You’ll be back!” and then Dolemite looks at the clothes his girls hand him and says “You know I don’t wear no MF’in cotton drawls!” lol.

      Like

      • GaryLee828

        That’s the reason I made a blog, to introduce readers to new movies/shows. You should check out my “Obscure Recommendations” page on my blog. πŸ™‚

        And then as Dolemite stands at the limo, and dresses himself, he notices one of the girls in the limo and some dialogue is exchanged:

        “Damn, mama, you must be new on my block. What’s yo name?”
        “Chi. Short for Chicago.”
        “Well baby, I sure hope you ain’t cold like the windy city because the way you make me feel I sho’ could warm you up!”
        (and then another woman steps to Dolemite) “As long as you been gone, you got a whole lot of warming’ up to do!”
        (and then another girl sticks her head out of the limo window) “No shit!”
        (then Dolemite smiles) “I can dig it!”

        Like

  4. Pingback: Tribbles, Hangovers & the Great Gatsby | filmhipster

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