Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 18: BIRDEMIC (2010)

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Entry by: WITH A FRIEND LIKE GARY

BIRDEMIC

BIRDEMIC (2010)

Directed by James Nguyen

Starring Alan Bagh & Whitney Moore

A few months ago a friend told me he saw this really awesome movie on netflix-streaming called “Birdemic” and urged me to watch as soon as I got a chance. He seemed genuinely excited, and so I was all ready to get on-board and see what was so good about this movie. So, that night I pulled it up on my computer, started it and got all nice-and-comfy in my bed expecting to be blown away.

After a couple minutes, the first thing I noticed was how damn long the opening credits sequence was; and then after a couple more minutes I was ready to throw a shoe at the monitor – but of course I couldn’t, it was my computer, and I needed it for other stuff other than watching shitty movies.

As the opening credits continued to drag the theme music was driving me bonkers! It was like the same 4 bars playing over and over in what felt like an eternal loop! Every time you thought the music was finally over and the movie was about to begin, there it was AGAIN going for yet ANOTHER round! I thought this could be a glimpse of what Hell may be like.

And then the credits were finally over…

And I thought, “Finally! Thank you, Jesus! Now we can get to the story.”

Be careful what you wish for…

Because then the “actor” spoke for the first time and I was like, “What the f**k is this!?”

Then I just wanted to punch my “friend” dead-square in the jaw after realizing I had just been “punk’d”. I could not believe how bad the acting was! With the shitty writing and directing to go with it, it felt like a middle-school movie project.

Here’s an example for your viewing pleasure:

After my anger subsided and all expectations gone I watched it thru a different set of eyes, and just found myself laughing hysterically at what may have quite possibly been the shittiest movie I’ve ever seen.
And then just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse it turns into an “action” thriller with a flock of deadly birds attacking and killing every human in sight. But thankfully our protagonist was able to grab a couple clothes-hangers from his motel room to fend the birds off.  Sound too shitty to be true?   I’m not making this up.  Here, I’ll show you:

30 comments

  1. GaryLee828

    Reblogged this on With a Friend Like Gary and commented:
    Eric Isaacs over at IsaacsPictureConclusions.com decided to hold a contest to determine the worst movie; each day in May Eric will post a fellow blogger’s entries. All submissions have been accepted, and Eric has an appointed panel of judges who will vote to decide the winner…

    Which I think should be me with my submission of “Birdemic”! 🙂

    Stop by and check out my entry, as well as the other entries, and drop some comments, and let us know what you think of the submissions.

    – GL

    Like

  2. It would be so fun to star in a movie like this. Be as completely shlockfest/cheesy as you wanted and get paid for it. Yes, please. Birdemic producers, I’d be up for the third installment. Which would have to be called Bird3mic.

    Like

    • GaryLee828

      Nick, you got a lot of nerve coming up in here acting like you could take Alan Bagh’s spot in part 3! You think you could match his intensity!? 🙂

      Did you see his game he has with the ladies? He talked that model right into having some vietnamese dinner the day after meeting; wait until you see how smooth he is on the date! I especially like the part at dinner where he becomes jealous when she talks about her cat (and no, I’m not joking! lol).

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  3. Ha, great review. Love the video too with the birds which have just been cut ‘n’ pasted onto the scene. I’ve been meaning to watch this one for a while, but it just looks so shit. Plus you watched it for me, so I don’t need to bother now. I also seem to remember the blonde girl’s audition for this film being on youtube. It was kind of creepy from what I recall. She was sat in the kitchen, I think, and it was obvious the director just wanted to jump her bones.

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    • GaryLee828

      LOL Monkey! The only positive about this movie at all is that she looks good; that’s it! Wait until you see the scene where she goes to tell her mom about the new guy she had dinner with. She goes to her mom’s house and is like “Mom, guess what? I met a guy” and her mom is like “You’re kidding!”…

      Yeah, great writing there as I’m sure it’s sooo hard for a girl who looks like that to meet guys. lol.

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      • The same mom who goes “Whooo! That’s my girl!” followed by an awkward pause? lol

        As for the audition, it’s actually a different blonde. He starts hitting on her towards the end. She says a really forced, “It was really nice meeting you.” like she can’t wait to get out of there. Obviously she didn’t get the part because she wouldn’t go for a drink with him. lol

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      • GaryLee828

        Monkey, you took my already epic post and just made it epicer! lol. THAT’S MY GIRL! (pause) that was hilarious!!

        Regarding the 2nd video I am pretty sure that was the actual audition, and not the director asking the actress out; the dialogue she was saying sounded similar to the first interaction between the main guy and girl in the film. So, hopefully it was an audition. lol.

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  4. Pingback: Tribbles, Hangovers & the Great Gatsby | filmhipster

  5. I love the fact that your friend didn’t explain the “greatness” of Birdemic before passing along the recommendation. I still maintain that club scene is one of the funniest moments I’ve ever seen in a movie. “Just hanging out, hanging out, hanging out with my family…” Also, welcome to the LAMB! I just discovered your site because of it and will definitely be back.

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  6. *giggles* What exactly were you expecting from a movie named “Birdemic”?? That’s what I want to know, lol. I am quite eager to see this AND the sequel, have talked to the director a couple of times and he seems to be having a blast with these.

    Like

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