Directed by James Nguyen
Starring Alan Bagh & Whitney Moore
A few months ago a friend told me he saw this really awesome movie on netflix-streaming called “Birdemic” and urged me to watch as soon as I got a chance. He seemed genuinely excited, and so I was all ready to get on-board and see what was so good about this movie. So, that night I pulled it up on my computer, started it and got all nice-and-comfy in my bed expecting to be blown away.
After a couple minutes, the first thing I noticed was how damn long the opening credits sequence was; and then after a couple more minutes I was ready to throw a shoe at the monitor – but of course I couldn’t, it was my computer, and I needed it for other stuff other than watching shitty movies.
As the opening credits continued to drag the theme music was driving me bonkers! It was like the same 4 bars playing over and over in what felt like an eternal loop! Every time you thought the music was finally over and the movie was about to begin, there it was AGAIN going for yet ANOTHER round! I thought this could be a glimpse of what Hell may be like.
And then the credits were finally over…
And I thought, “Finally! Thank you, Jesus! Now we can get to the story.”
Be careful what you wish for…
Because then the “actor” spoke for the first time and I was like, “What the f**k is this!?”
Then I just wanted to punch my “friend” dead-square in the jaw after realizing I had just been “punk’d”. I could not believe how bad the acting was! With the shitty writing and directing to go with it, it felt like a middle-school movie project.
Here’s an example for your viewing pleasure: