Isaacs Picture Conclusions


shitfest-2013 banner

*I am not sure if this will qualify as NSFW but there is a “tasteful nude” at the bottom of this post*

Hello everyone –

While someone who cannot be named might argue that I have been obsessing with this, I don’t know if that’s the right word but I have been giving this a shitload of thought… This IS a competition after all and I want the outcome to be as fair as fucking possible.

I originally thought of having brackets and a public vote but then I got worried that some unscrupulous person could go down to the public library and hit 40 different terminals / IPs and skew the votes OR that someone with a Juggernaut blog with a ton of followers could have an unfair advantage, so I tossed that out.

Then I went with the jury idea but – public perception is one thing and I don’t want anyone to think that the winner was chosen because the jury is buddies with this person or that person or whatnot so I’ve spent the last week trying to think of what could be done and this is the final answer:

  • Anyone that has contributed to this festival gets a vote!!!
  • (You only get one vote even if we’ve published four reviews (for example: me – I’ll have six entries by the time this is over and I get one vote)
  • By “contributed”, I also mean you GREAT people who come around and spend your beautiful time commenting too – these are contributions in themselves!!!
  • When this is over, please send me a private email to with the title “shitfest votes” (so I can sort things easier) with your top three choices and I’ll do all of the numbers
  • You can’t vote for yourself (that’s just not right in my book)
  • A first place vote will get 5 points, second place 3 points and third place 1 point
  • The entry with the most points WINS!!!
  • Since SHITFEST ends Friday, May 31, I’ll give everyone until the following Friday, June 7 to email me their votes.

In this fictional example of the first three entries, the formula will look like this:

BLOODY MARY 143 4 1 728
88 MINUTES 3 20 5 80
PREMIUM RUSH 15 21 2 140

Just look at BLOODY MARY blowing away the competition!!!

  • That weekend I’ll tally up everything and come back on Monday the 9th with the big announcement!!
  • If the winner is in the U.S. a trophy will be cast and I’ll ship it out to you!!
  • If the winner is elsewhere, chances are that shipping is too expensive so I’ll compensate you with MOOLAH (I don’t actually know how that will work {VISA gift card??} but we’ll figure it out. (One time I found this creepy clown statue in a second hand store and was going to send it to someone at the top of England as a gag gift. It was a foot and a half tall, weighed two pounds and was going to cost me over 200 dollars to ship. They got an emailed picture of it instead).
  • I will not be accepting votes before June 1st since we still have another week to go with some excellent entries!! (Unless you can compel me with an argument that you need to vote early because you’re going into the hospital to have a lung transplant or something)

I think this is the fairest way to do this and it will be a lot more democratic than just five people picking the winner. SHITFEST HAS BEEN FUCKING FANTASTIC – a lot of work – but GREAT and I am so glad we all did this!!


OH – since there’s been SO MUCH talk about Alice Eve in her underwear across all of the blogs we follow, here’s a little something to spice this post up:



  1. GaryLee828

    Eric, but don’t you think that contributors on here can still vote for their friends? I thought the 5 person panel was fair b/c it was completely neutral, and they didn’t know the blog owners, so they simply voted for the entries.

    I mean there are people on here that have been friends for a while, so if someone has a hard time choosing between say one of my entries, and one of their friends’ entries – what do you think could be their deciding factor?


    • theipc

      I just had this big, long explanation typed up and then I stepped off the entry field and it erased. FUCKING UGH.

      I think this is the best way to go and I think the numbers will work out. I don’t think it’s going to get that serious. We’re playing for a trophy or 50 bucks, not a new house and way of life. I don’t think there will be any elitism here. This way, there’s more democracy.

      For example – LOL another long reply – my favorite right now is Scrotey’s. And I promise you, that’s NOT because we’ve been friends for 30 years, it’s just my favorite. If someone else’s was my vote, I’d vote them in…

      That has everything I’d want. Shitty, TERRIBLE movie. And mostly naked chicks : )

      I think this way works out : )


      • GaryLee828

        Okay, that sounds good, BUT you have to watch my video clips of Dolemite and Birdemic (with sound) before you place your vote. I think if you watch you will give me strong consideration for a vote; if not, no big deal, but the fun of this for me was being able to show off those clips, even if they don’t vote for me. 🙂


    • theipc

      No sir. Please re-read the instructions when you’re not busy rolling around in the piles of money I helped you make!!


      Kids today!


  2. This actually sounds really awesome! As someone who did not contribute, but has truly enjoyed reading all of the posts I will happily tell you the three that I’ve appreciated the most when this is all over. 🙂


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