Isaacs Picture Conclusions

SHITFEST 2013 ENTRY 29: IRON MAN 3 (2013)

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Entry by: THE CINEMA MONSTER

IRON MAN 3 (2013)

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Depending far too much on the success of the first two instalments and visual appeal of its played out tactics. Iron Man 3 starts off relatively strong but eventual succumbs to its contrived dialogue, over-compensating story, and childish acrobatics and gadgetry. Desperately trying to infuse more of a dramatic tone into its incessant attempts at comedy and wit, ends up alienating to a point of severe restlessness. Closing a successful trilogy might be considered difficult to say the least. However, after Christopher Nolan’s overwhelming hit, The Dark Knight Rises this past summer. It appears that a competent finale can be done and the failure of Iron Man 3 can be attributed to a single, simple fact. The amount of Marvel films being released is becoming annoyingly ridiculous and the content for these outings is heavily watered-down. Not to say that Iron Man 3 is not entertaining, far from it. I’d rank it a notch above most brainless action pictures released these days. What I am stating is that my expectations did not lower after the first two entertaining chapters and rightfully so.

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Tony Stark (Downey Jr) is suffering from severe anxiety attacks and insomnia after the events that took place in New York. Spending his nights the only way he knows how, concocting new and improved suits. When a terrorist know as the Mandarin (Kingsley) begins attacking the United States and its citizens, Tony must suit up once again. After a deadly attack by the Mandarin on the Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles leaves Happy (Favreau) in a coma, renders Tony furious and seeking revenge. After challenging the Mandarin, Tony’s Malibu mansion is attacked and destroyed leaving Tony and Pepper (Paltrow) separated. Upon escaping, Tony crash lands in the middle of Tennessee. Now, with no suit, his mental illnesses, and the Mandarin continuing his attacks. Tony must befriend a child and begin to reconstruct a revamped suit and take down the Mandarin.

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I wasn’t fairly excited for Iron Man 3 prior to its release. The publicity didn’t really catch my eye and the trailers didn’t offer anything that inventive. That being said, with outstanding cast additions such as the legendary Ben Kingsley, the incomparable Guy Pearce, and the always radiant Rebecca Hall. I felt there was hope for this loud, cocky, chaotic finale. Conversely, these additions didn’t diminish my guard, if anything, it made me more judgmental and raised my expectations. Another significant reason why my excitement for this third outing dropped off is the absence of Jon Favreau behind the camera. No doubt his keen, comedic eye had a monstrous affect on the first two chapters and his reprisal only as Happy should have been enough of a warning sign. Regardless, I never enter a film expecting it to be terrible. So, when Iron Man 3 disappointed me, it wasn’t a complete surprise, yet I anticipated more.

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I am going to start off with some glaring irregularities and issues that extraordinarily hampered Iron Man 3. First off, the reason the first half appeared passable is because it had a single, linear story line. When the plot broke off into several tangents, it marred the strength of the original and weakened each strand with each passing minute. However, what is most disconcerting about its unnecessary complexity is the multiple chances Iron Man 3 had to save itself, essentially from itself. It’s as if the audience was forced to accompany this nosedive and instead of pulling out of it, we unwillingly were forced to thrust towards the ground. Apart from its laughable story and characters. Watching the second half of Iron Man 3 is like watching a kids cartoon unfold. There is so many irrelevant and expendable one liners and flimsy action sequences it is honestly like a child took hold of the script and cameras for the entire last hour.

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Now I,  unfortunately have to dissect the forced, trivial performances throughout Iron Man 3. I can’t bring myself to bad mouth Ben Kingsley, Rebecca Hall, and Guy Pearce so I will conveniently blame their fake, simulated portrayals on the limitations and stupidity of Iron Man 3’s weak script and faulty direction. As for Robert Downey Jr, Don Cheadle, and Gwyneth Paltrow, to summarize, I have no problem drowning their characters like a postpartum, depressive mother. I have nothing but the utmost respect for their careers and achievements…and I can understand that the money must have been handsomely defining since it was purchasing as well as silencing their integrity. However, there is an upside, Jarvis and the hollow suits had more depth and emotion than the entire ensemble.

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I just can’t help but continually think of the word “unnecessary” to neatly sum up Iron Man 3.

Iron Man 3: 5 out of 10. (I am only giving it a five because I feel bad for Pearce, Kingsley, Hall, and crew).

59 comments

  1. bluryourwords

    Haven’t even seen Iron Man 2 yet… oops. My next big film plan was going to be the new Star Trek anyway 😀
    Another great review, thanks!

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    • Well, that’s where we differ and why films are open to an infinite number of opinions. It was a chore for me and throughout the story, I swear I felt my IQ levels drop. Again, that’s the beauty of film. We can sit here and argue till we are blue in the face. Nonetheless, in the end, neither of us are wrong…but I’m still kind of right 😉

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  2. I thought Iron Man 2 and the last Batman were both the drizzling shits. I loved Iron Man 3 the first time I saw it. After a second (free!) trip to the theatre, I noticed a lot more holes and “huh?” moments behind the shiny veneer of metal and blinding explosions. Still, I disagree that its Shitfest-worthy, but I admire swinging for the fences on this one.

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  3. That’s a well-written piece, but I just can’t agree with a single word of it 😦
    I really enjoyed this flick. It was a lot of fun. Shane Black is a fantastic writer and he and Drew Pearce crafted an almost chemically pure summer blockbuster. This was Heisenberg-quality stuff right here. It was funny, it was exciting, it was surprising (Trevor Slattery? Black and Marvel deserve a medal for Pulling that one off). I totally dug it, from start to finish.

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  4. I only watch Iron Man for Robert Downey Jr. but I was under the impression that there will be more Iron Man movies being made…there was a whole thing about RDJ not agreeing to the money for more and whether he could be replaced as Iron Man…did I just dream that was all over the interwebs?? Agreed this was a ballsy move for Shitfest! 😉

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  5. Great review. I could barely sit through Iron Man 3 because it was exactly how I expected the concluding part of a superhero trilogy to be, and that made it all the more predictable and annoying. How many times do we have to see the hero take a fall before rising back and proving to the world his mettle? Its become totally tiresome.

    And watching the promos of that Wolverine Film with Hugh Jackman, I expect a similar kind of turd to be served.

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