(Tim – apologies if I didn’t get these pictures exactly right)
The Last Airbender (2010)
Now in 2008 when I saw Dragonball Evolution I thought it would be at least quite a few years until another childhood cartoon of mine would be raped in the ass! But no they couldn’t wait to see me gouge out my eyes so they released this abomination 2 years later. Whereas Dragonball could be excused as a very difficult source to be adapted into the live action arena, The Last Airbender really isn’t and I can clearly see it being made properly one day. M. Night can kiss my ass because I will never watch a film of his again.
For the sake of this Shitfest I have watched the film again to really get to the bottom of why I detest this film so very much. So expect swearing and lots of profanities but I can already feel the blood boiling!
Shit Anaysis starting now.
Not 1 minute into this film and they have already angered me! The intro with the whole showing off the powers of the four nations that where just great in the cartoon, have now been replaced with a cheap curtain in the background and interpretive dancers being paid $5 to add their own personal touch to my childhood being fucked in the ASS!!!
Now we have a near Star Wars length into the world, which really something I should learn on the way but not the worst thing. She pronounces Avatar as Arvatar and this happens all the way through the film, nobody pronounces anything remotely right. Hahahaha Book One: Water, you are never making the other two M.Night Never!
The first two actors are awful, not that anyone is any better but wow just who found these “actors”? They have transformed the original characters into bland morons who never endingly explain every single scene. Shut up! This is a movie not a book you idiots, it’s like the start of Twilight!
The kid playing Aang is far too young as are the others; their characters should be around 14 years old and instead look about 7. Doesn’t help that none of them have personalities and their dialogue is just shockingly bad. Pronouncing names wrong again, everybody says his name as Ong for some reason.
11 minutes in and it feels like 40 minutes, the characters are unrecognizable, the fire benders are Indian for some reason and all the good guys are white Americans. I know some people have claimed the film to be really racist, I don’t think its super racist but separating the nations into different races isn’t a good idea especially with one being the bad guys.
Oh no! 16 minutes in and he’s air bending, it looks ridiculous! Something between interpretive dance and five martial arts that just don’t look right, especially from a 7 year old kid! Oh I just hate this film so much, all the action is so badly choreographed it’s a wonder somebody got paid for their advice.
Actually this scene is pretty funny. Aang goes to the temple of his people who have long been dead but he doesn’t know and then he sees like a field of skulls and bones, it’s quite horrifying for a kids film. It looks like future scene of Terminator which is a little wrong for the atmosphere of this kid’s film. WTF?! Why is he talking to dragon?! Stop shitting on the source material!
Why in a world with elemental benders does nobody use it to fight? All they use is terribly choreographed karate or something that is far too difficult to tell because it looks so utterly crap! Oh but nothing beats the earth benders where it took 5 men doing some stupid dance to lift and throw 1 rock! It’s totally laughable every scene is filled utter crap!
It can’t possibly be another hour! Oh dear lord I am taking a break.
Okay back and refreshed. We have a scene about Zuko and how he got the scar on his face, see now this characters annoys me the most because the actor playing him is good, the characters itself is very interesting and a tortured soul and yet in the film he’s utter garbage! I don’t know why M. Night decided to change him but it’s something I just cannot forgive!
Starting to really bore me so I’ll just describe the next 30 mins in one sentence, terrible training, stupid rebel fights, lots of scenes with Aang with his shirt off (what?!) for some unknown reason. Got a bunch of flash backs, Aang gets captured again because he’s an idiot. Then a good 15 minutes him dancing around an air temple trying to escape the fire nation which in the cartoon was one of my favourite scenes of the first season 😦 And now we enter the northern sea tribe where CGI takes over 100% Yay!
The back of the princess’s head looks like a penis! Seriously how did this get released as a kids film, its racist, it’s got skulls getting walked on and now penis hair! On a serious note though the relationship between the two characters Sokka and the princess came out of nowhere and so as you’d imagine I couldn’t care less.
Haha there’s this scene where the water tribe let out a war cry and it’s so stupid I nearly cried. WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO xD Let the most ridiculous siege scene in the history of cinema commence!
First we have ash fall from the sky without a single cloud in sight, then the fire nation troops somehow drill their way into a frozen city with drill hats (who came up with that?) which brings tears to my eyes. Flash backs and terrible CGI are all over the place in these scenes.
Lastly because I just can’t be bothered talking about this anymore, the CGI. I have never seen a film with such a large budget get the CGI so wrong. Throughout the film the worst part of the visuals was how the CGI effects where attached to the real world visuals, they were misplaced and horrible choreographed with the actors and martial artists. This film was one giant waste of money.
Tim’s Film Reviews Not Recommended
Story: 10% Acting: 0% Characters: 5% Dialogue: 0%
Kids/ Action and Adventure: 5% Style/Sound: 5% Visuals: 10%
It fails in every category and I have never seen such an awful score out my system. If you haven’t seen it lucky you but if you have then I am sorry you had to sit through this truly awful film.