Isaacs Picture Conclusions

BLOODY MURDER (1999) TWO MIDDLE FINGERS

bm1

Fun with words wasn’t as much fun as I had hoped, so let’s get back to things I do better: movies. The things I do out here are not directed to get a shit-ton of traffic. What I do here is write about movies I watch and, in reality, try and PROTECT YOU from things you should never, ever bother with because I care about you. Is this “MOST UNCLEAN”? Nah. This is just one of the stupidest, boring, non-violent, non-nude, terrible-dialogue, fuck-you, piece of shit movies I’ve ever seen.

B. M. stands for BOWEL MOVEMENT

B. M. stands for BOWEL MOVEMENT

There aren’t even any pictures of this STANK out on the internet so there’s one I made myself before I Poo-ed on the DVD and mailed it back to Netflix. I mean, really? I’ve gotten used to miserable acting in these shitty movies I tend to watch but REALLY?? THIS. WAS. AWFUL. The cast couldn’t even RUN well. There were at least three times where one of the actors messed up their lines and they didn’t edit it out or reshoot, there are times when the “lead” is reading what she is typing on the computer (one of my all time pet peeves) and then they show what she’s typing and they are different than the words she said, and then the whole ending doesn’t make any goddamned fucking sense whatsoever. Who in the fuck financed a sequel to this???

THE DEUCE IS LOOSE

BOWEL MOVEMENT 2: THE DEUCE IS LOOSE

There’s another still for you. I think that’s one of the cast members hiding from the production crew. If anyone is interested, this is a BLATANT and FOUL rip off of Friday the 13th, including a dude in a hockey mask killing counselors at a summer camp. The kills are mostly off screen and consist of someone talking “aaaaahhhhhhrrrrgggg” and then falling over. The acting is worse than that home movie you made back in the 80s that you’re ashamed to show anyone, the dialogue is MISERABLE, the characters are totally stupid and to top it all off, there’s not even any skin. Barely any blood and no boobs. I guess they thought this would be a thinking man’s horror? Whatever. Terrible. I predict you will enjoy your afternoon – um – “constitutional” more than three minutes of this.

POOP

21 comments

  1. Haha. Yeah this was poor, but I kinda dig it for a good laugh. Would never buy it, but if I see it on I watch and laugh at the idiocy of it all.

    As for part 2 production values are stronger as are the death scenes. Doesn’t look as cheap. However lame jokes like I’m black so I’m gonna die first. Funny when Kevin Williamson did it. The sequel also has Tiffany Shepis who I was lucky enough to interview for my old radio show. Really great person. Smart, funny and super hot.

    Like

    • theipc

      You know – for some reason I *thought* it was YOU who recommended this through your site but I looked there yesterday and I was wrong. Don’t do it – you’ll hate than Vicious Lips!! TOTES!

      Like

    • theipc

      LOL HUSTLER –

      No… THIS is bad. REC 3 is not.

      I shit on this movie – as would you. REC 3 compared to this is a masterpiece. I promise you this.

      One day you will get my point… THIS = PUTRESCENCE, REC 3 = NOT TOO BAD, CONSIDERING WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: