Just to be clear – this isn’t that teen movie by the Twilight lady – this is a South Korean job about a giant, mutant fish who comes on to land and takes two kids hostage while it goes around eating people. Why it never eats these two kids is unclear to me but, it doesn’t. The rest of the story is the family of the kidnapped girl trying to find her and rescue her. This is definitely good looking and made real well but, except for the beginning and ending sequences, I thought this was totally boring and I played a lot of Angry Birds Space while it sputtered along.
In the opening, in a morgue, our man Scott Wilson (EXORCIST 3) walks in an finds dust on a bottle of some sort of super strength Hydrogen Peroxide. He despises dust, see, so he orders his underling to empty the bottles into the drain.
“But it will flow into the river”, his underling cries.
“Just do what I say, Fuck Face,” replies Wilson.
So he does and, without any reference to time or how long it takes to mutate, this thing comes out of the river and terrorizes the beach:
That sequence on the beach is OUTSTANDING!! I mean that very sincerely. Then… the next hour and a half is pretty boring. Well, wait – let me say this. The copy I got from Netflix was dubbed. While the actual technical dubbing wasn’t bad – the voices they used in this serious horror movie were hilariously awful!!! The old man below sounded like he was deranged and should be out there dancing in the street, naked except for his socks, drinking motor oil (because that’s what crazy old men do where I live).
I don’t have anything against Asian films – not in the least – nor do I profess to know anything about anything but, in my observations, when Asian movies are dubbed in English, everything is rushed because the English takes many more words than say, Korean, to get the point across so everyone always sounds like they’re speed talking or on crack.
Father (English dub): “MYGIRLOHGODSHE’SINTHESEWEROHGODHELPMEFINDHER.”
Father: (original Korean): “Insert three Korean symbols here.”
I would not, in any way write anything to offend anyone, except the French (J/K), so that’s not me being a dick – I am just trying to say that these types of films that are dubbed in English have to force so much English into each shot that the voices sound rushed and, in this case at least, were VERY distracting!
Anyway, it is what it is and overall, this wasn’t too bad, but the sequences at the end and the beginning were the best things about THE HOST.
Oh yeah – I wanted to mention – there’s this scene after the little girl (above) was kidnapped. All of the survivors are grouped together in what (I think) was a high school gymnasium. Everyone is licking their wounds and what not and then they pan over to the three guys shown two pics above. The blonde dude is WAILING and BLUSTERING and rolling around on the ground in agonizing sadness and his pants come off and we see his ass and it was LOL funny. I am not sure if the filmmakers intended this to be powerful and draw emotion from us but it came off as ridiculously laughable. *shakes head*
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