Isaacs Picture Conclusions

THE HOST (2006) THREE TOP HATS

HOST1

Just to be clear – this isn’t that teen movie by the Twilight lady – this is a South Korean job about a giant, mutant fish who comes on to land and takes two kids hostage while it goes around eating people. Why it never eats these two kids is unclear to me but, it doesn’t. The rest of the story is the family of the kidnapped girl trying to find her and rescue her. This is definitely good looking and made real well but, except for the beginning and ending sequences, I thought this was totally boring and I played a lot of Angry Birds Space while it sputtered along.

HOST2

In the opening, in a morgue, our man Scott Wilson (EXORCIST 3) walks in an finds dust on a bottle of some sort of super strength Hydrogen Peroxide. He despises dust, see, so he orders his underling to empty the bottles into the drain.

“But it will flow into the river”, his underling cries.

“Just do what I say, Fuck Face,” replies Wilson.

So he does and, without any reference to time or how long it takes to mutate, this thing comes out of the river and terrorizes the beach:

HOST3

That sequence on the beach is OUTSTANDING!! I mean that very sincerely. Then… the next hour and a half is pretty boring. Well, wait – let me say this. The copy I got from Netflix was dubbed. While the actual technical dubbing wasn’t bad – the voices they used in this serious horror movie were hilariously awful!!! The old man below sounded like he was deranged and should be out there dancing in the street, naked except for his socks, drinking motor oil (because that’s what crazy old men do where I live).

HOST4

I don’t have anything against Asian films – not in the least – nor do I profess to know anything about anything but, in my observations, when Asian movies are dubbed in English, everything is rushed because the English takes many more words than say, Korean, to get the point across so everyone always sounds like they’re speed talking or on crack.

Father (English dub): “MYGIRLOHGODSHE’SINTHESEWEROHGODHELPMEFINDHER.”

Father: (original Korean): “Insert three Korean symbols here.”

I would not, in any way write anything to offend anyone, except the French (J/K), so that’s not me being a dick – I am just trying to say that these types of films that are dubbed in English have to force so much English into each shot that the voices sound rushed and, in this case at least, were VERY distracting!

Anyway, it is what it is and overall, this wasn’t too bad, but the sequences at the end and the beginning were the best things about THE HOST.

HOST5

Oh yeah – I wanted to mention – there’s this scene after the little girl (above) was kidnapped. All of the survivors are grouped together in what (I think) was a high school gymnasium. Everyone is licking their wounds and what not and then they pan over to the three guys shown two pics above. The blonde dude is WAILING and BLUSTERING and rolling around on the ground in agonizing sadness and his pants come off and we see his ass and it was LOL funny. I am not sure if the filmmakers intended this to be powerful and draw emotion from us but it came off as ridiculously laughable. *shakes head*

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32 comments

  1. 1) I NEED that suitcase of chapstick that’s the header for today!!!
    2) For a moment I really thought you were doing the Host by the Twilight author and was about to shun you for life. For reals.
    3) I loved this movie. I saw it a few years ago and actually own it but I also watched it not dubbed. The family was hilarious.

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    • theipc

      HAHAHAHA!!! I KNEW if anyone would appreciate my box of chapstick it would be YOU!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

      I totally should have watched the original and not the dubbed – the dubbing was just silly…

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  2. I’ve wanted to see this for ages. I’ll check it out someday, at least for that ass. Do you see his underwear, too? And they actually dub some American kids shows with English voices in the UK. WEIRD.

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  3. Agree it does get a bit slow in the middle. The opening is indeed incredible. I like how they throw away the monster movie rulebook of not showing the monster too much early in the film, by showing it from every conceivable angle, and in broad daylight.

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  4. I really enjoyed this film but I watched it subtitled which does make a difference. I much prefer films to be subtitled rather than dubbed over in English. I suppose some people see a subtitled film and immediately decide not to watch it which is why they they do it. It’s a shame cause it doesn’t take that much effort to do some reading.

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  5. I love this film! Great review 🙂
    It does have some pretty boring parts, but a lot of Asian cinema seems to drag a little, usually at the end.
    There’s talk of a sequel, or at least there was at some point recently! Hopefully it’ll be good

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    • theipc

      Thank you for commenting Natasha! This was good, a little slow, but good… comments like these make everything worthwhile : )

      Like

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